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Donut licker Ariana Grande apologises for hating America

By | Published on Thursday 9 July 2015

Ariana Grande

I think Ariana Grande’s response to what no one is calling ‘The Donut Shop Incident’ tells us a lot about what a fucking weird place America is. She feels a necessity to explain a clearly overblown, for-effect claim to “hate America”, but not even mention the fact that she licked a donut she had no intention of buying.

If you’ve not been following this major development in world news, TMZ earlier this week published security camera footage from a donut shop in California. It shows the singer lick a donut on display as she waits with friends to be served. Then, when a member of staff appears with a tray containing yet more donuts, she looks at them and says, ‘What the fuck is that?” before announcing, “I hate Americans. I hate America”.

The latter part of this, Grande explained in a statement last night, was a comment on the obesity rate in the US. And had she known she was being filmed, she would have made that point more clearly.

“I am EXTREMELY proud to be an American and I’ve always made it clear that I love my country”, she said in a statement. “What I said in a private moment with my friend Ryann, who was buying the donuts, was taken out of context and I and sorry for not using more discretion in my words”.

Did people really take what she said 100% at face value? Did it really upset people that much that she has to explicitly state that she doesn’t actually want everyone in the United States to fall into the sea? I know patriotism is a thing in the US, but come on. This seems unnecessary. I mean, she didn’t apologise when she (allegedly) wished all of her fans dead, did she?

Having also mentioned that her words were taken out of context, she then felt the need to explain – at length – what she actually meant. “As an advocate for healthy eating, food is very important to me” she wrote. “And I sometimes get upset by how freely we as Americans eat and consume things without giving any thought to the consequences that it has on our health and society as a whole”.

Yes, though I get more upset at how freely some Americans lick donuts that they don’t intend to buy. Anyway, she continues: “The fact that the United States has one of the highest child obesity rates in the world frustrates me. We need to do more to educate our children about the dangers of overeating and the poison that we put into our bodies. We need to demand more from our food industry”.

Valid points. Though I would also argue that we need to do more to educate people on when and where it is appropriate to lick food. She concludes: “However, I should have known better in how I expressed myself; and with my new responsibility to others as a public figure I will strive to be better … Let me once again apologise if I have offended anyone with my poor choice of words”.

As well as all that, she added that she was forced to miss a show because she needed emergency oral surgery. Ew! You mean you licked a donut with a sick mouth, Ariana? I hate Americans.



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