And Finally Artist News Beef Of The Week

CMU Beef Of The Week #255: Iran v Thom Yorke

By | Published on Friday 15 May 2015

Thom Yorke

Who do you think about when you think about sexual problems? Thom Yorke, right? I know, every time. It’s like, you’re sitting there thinking about erectile dysfunction of an evening, and then suddenly there he is. I mean, to be fair, this gif does pop into my head roughly every six seconds, but that’s by the by.

Anyway, I don’t need you to confirm the inner working of my subconscious, because Iran has already done it for me. Yes, Iran. Iran gets me. I don’t know why I even talk to you people. Who even are you?

Yeah, so, Iran. Someone in Iran has published a book on sexual problems between married couples. I mean, someone posted a picture on Twitter of it and said that’s what it was, and I see no reason not to believe them. I mean, it looks like it’s probably a book, and it has writing on the cover that I don’t understand – in keeping with books in general. And it has pictures of three men on it. One of whom is Thom Yorke, who, as we have already established, is synonymous with sexual health.

In fact, it seems that Yorke is synonymous with health in general, because another Twitter user posted a picture of a billboard in Russia featuring the same picture of the Radiohead frontman offering to “help you to forget about your headache and insomnia”. Good old Thom.

Of course, it’s possible that Yorke isn’t very happy about this. Sometimes people become the face of something, but it turns out that they’d rather be the face of something else. It is conceivable that Thom Yorke would rather be thought of as ‘the biscuit guy’, rather than the patron saint of headaches, insomnia and intimacy issues. Which is what he definitely is.

He might also wonder how a photograph of him has come to be used in advertising against his will. I’m going to assume it’s against his will, as he hasn’t commented. But you have to wonder if there’s some ropey stock image service out there with some interesting tagging going on, or if certain search terms in certain languages are a sure-fire route to his face.

We don’t know. We may never know. But when he’s calmed down (I don’t know if he needs to calm down either, but let’s assume he does) he should at least take some solace in the fact that he’s helping people with his face. By accident. In Iran. In bed.