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Couple fined for indulging in sex act during Paloma Faith concert

By | Published on Thursday 13 August 2015

Paloma Faith

A couple have been convicted of outraging public decency after indulging in a sex act during a Paloma Faith concert. This despite their lawyers presented what everyone in the legal community thought was a cast iron defence: that a bit oral sex is the only way to get through a Paloma Faith concert without slipping into a coma.

No, I’m only joking. I’m a big fan of Paloma Faith. I especially like that one that goes “da da da, di di, da”. And that INXS cover she did for John Lewis. See, I’m the biggest Paloma Faith fan in the world.

Lisanne Beck and Simon Murphy actually denied indulging in a sex act while Faith performed during an all day Radio 2-hosted concert in Hyde Park last September. Beck argued that she had just been trying to wake her partner up. He having possibly slipped into the aforementioned coma.

But the judge was having none of it, siding with the prosecution, which claimed the couple’s activities, in plain view of other concert-goers, went “beyond the bounds of public decency”. They were both fined a £1000 each and ordered to pay court costs.

We hear that Faith’s pals at John Lewis will be handing out sudoku books at all forthcoming performances by the singer, just in case any other audience members need some sort of distraction from what’s happening on stage. The campaign slogan: “don’t suck… sudoku”. But I won’t need one of them. Did I mention how big a fan I am of Paloma Faith? Actually I sort of am. CMU Editor Andy Malt just won’t let me admit it in public.