Artist News

Dionne Warick announces biopic, claims Lady Gaga is to play her nemesis Cilla Black

By | Published on Monday 16 May 2016

Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga is going to play Cilla Black in a film. Lady Gaga. Cilla Black. In an actual film. Not just a video she’s made on her phone in her house, a film that you will be able to watch. It’s a biopic of Dionne Warwick, so presumably Gaga won’t be in it loads. But still. Lady Gaga playing Cilla Black.

I mean, a rep for Lady Gaga told Variety that this is not true. But Dionne Warwick says it is and that Lady Gaga’s people are just confused. So let’s all continue to assume that Lady Gaga is definitely going to play Cilla Black in a film. Because presumably she’s going to do the voice. Imagine Lady Gaga doing an impression of Cilla Black. Imagine it now. Just imagine it. I know it’s hard, but I reckon you can approximate something on the way to that in your brain. Now, ask yourself, is that a good idea?

Yeah, it’s not a good idea, is it? But she should definitely still do it. Ditch the Dionne Warwick story I say, and just make this film 90 minutes of a single camera pointed at Lady Gaga while she does an impersonation of Cilla Black.

Actually, apparently Dionne Warwick considered Cilla Black her nemesis. So potentially there could be scenes where Lady Gaga has to shout at LeToya Luckett (who is playing Dionne Warwick) while doing an impression of Cilla Black. So actually, the Dionne Warick story stays. At least that bit of it. But let’s not rule out my other idea as a sequel.

“We think Lady Gaga is fabulous”, a spokesperson for Black’s estate told the BBC. “She’s a great actress and we really look forward to seeing her portrayal”.

But will they actually get to see that portrayal? That’s the question. Because shortly after the news broke that Lady Gaga is going to play Cilla Black in a film, Gaga’s reps sent out that statement saying that, actually, Lady Gaga isn’t going to play Cilla Black in a film, adding “she is not attached [to the film] and will not appear in the project”.

Which is exactly what I thought when I first heard the news that Lady Gaga was going to play Cilla Black in a film. Except, Lady Gaga is going to play Cilla Black in a film, or at least so maintains Warwick. The problem is that, according to Warwick, while Gaga’s music PR reps know that Lady Gaga is going to play Cilla Black in a film, Gaga’s film PR reps did not know Lady Gaga is going to play Cilla Black in a film.

“It is just a question of the right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing”, Warwick told The Hollywood Reporter. “I’m waiting now for an email from either her and or management letting me know that all the retractions that have been tracted will be retracted”. What?

No such email has been sent, as far as I can work out. But I’m sure it’s coming very soon and all of our Cilla Gaga dreams will come true.



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