And Finally Artist News

Ed Sheeran will be “back” with “fourth instalment” at some point “later this year”

By | Published on Thursday 18 February 2021

Ed Sheeran

Hey everyone, Ed Sheeran is going to be “back” at some point “later this year”. Back where? “Back online”, that’s where. But back online with something to actually share? Yes, with “the fourth instalment in the series”. How exciting!

Sheeran shared this news on Instagram yesterday, as he celebrated his 30th birthday “dressed the same as I was on my third birthday”. That’s in a Postman Pat jumper with additional pirate accessories, if you were wondering. Although he only provides photographic evidence of him wearing the outfit 27 years ago. That jumper would be far too small by now, but I guess Ed’s rich enough that he could have a new one adult-sized one commissioned.

He did provide some photographic evidence of the current birthday celebrations though, mainly the cake he was about to “chow down on”. That being a pirate-themed Colin The Caterpillar cake. For anyone outside the UK, Colin The Caterpillar is the type of cake everyone has on their birthday for some reason, even though it’s not actually that nice to eat.

Anything else of note? Oh yes, there’s a pirate flag on the table underneath the cake that could do with an iron and there are gold coins strewn about. The quality of the photo makes it impossible to tell if these are plastic coins or chocolate coins. I don’t think they’re real coins. I guess they could be chocolate coins wrapped in real gold. As noted, Ed’s pretty rich, so he could probably afford to have those made. Unless you can just buy them. Hang on, I’ll check.

Well, I googled it and I couldn’t find any evidence that anyone has ever made chocolate coins wrapped in real gold. So I guess Ed would have had to have had them made specially. If that’s what he did. As I say, the coins might be plastic. But there are some foil-wrapped chocolate eggs on the plate around the cake, so I think the chances are that the coins are chocolate too.

I didn’t even know you could get a pirate-themed Colin The Caterpillar cake, did you? Actually, I just checked that too and you can’t. Now I look closer, the pirate hat, eyepatch and beard on said cake do look a bit homemade. I hope Ed didn’t pay someone to do that. Unless he paid them in chocolate coins, because that would probably be fair.

Three year old Ed doesn’t have an eyepatch, by the way, despite being dressed as a pirate. Seems like a bit of an oversight, even if he is wearing glasses in the photo. He’s got a pirate hat and a massive sword, sure. But no eyepatch. I would have got him an eyepatch. Maybe his parents did get him one and then he didn’t wear it. Maybe he didn’t like it. We may never know.

It’s weird that pirates are something we encourage children to celebrate, isn’t it? I mean, they just went around stealing things and murdering people. That’s generally the sort of thing we discourage children from. And yet when it comes to pirates we’re all like, ‘hey put on this eyepatch and wave this sword around. Pretend one of your legs was severed in order to stop an infection reaching the rest of your body’.

That’s all I’ve really got to say about this picture that Ed Sheeran shared on Instagram. Except that there seems to be a napkin under the plate that the cake is on. Interesting choice.

Oh yeah, what about that “fourth instalment in the series”? Probably his new album.