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Elton John to star in John Lewis Christmas ad

By Andy Malt | Published on Monday 10 September 2018

Elton John will star in this year’s John Lewis Christmas advert, which remains a thing we’re apparently supposed to care about. The bosses of John Lewis reportedly care enough to pay him £5 million.

According to the Mail On Sunday, the ad will show actors playing John at various ages opening presents, before the man himself comes and tinkles around on the piano a bit at the end.

“John Lewis wanted to win the battle of the Christmas adverts this year and it has cost them a significant sum to do it”, a source told the newspaper. “They think having Elton on board will guarantee its popularity and blow Marks & Spencer out of the water. It’s a tearjerker but also very sweet, and follows Elton from a child, through his teenage years, into how he is today. It is all very, very charming and the exciting crescendo at the end will be Elton playing his famous piano”.

Do people still see TV adverts? Or does everyone just go out of their way to watch this shit on YouTube? Either way, please ensure that you don’t buy anything from John Lewis this Christmas, and then maybe this nonsense can be over with.

Elsewhere in Elton John news, he also kicked off his big farewell tour on Saturday night. As he embarked on the 300 night run around the world, he said: “I feel incredibly privileged and grateful to have had the opportunity to perform around the world for the last 50 years. During that time, I have been able to witness a huge amount of social, political and cultural change. I want the Farewell Yellow Brick Road tour to celebrate that”.