Artist News Gigs & Festivals

Harry Styles announces lovely 2020 tour

By | Published on Thursday 14 November 2019

Harry Styles

Harry Styles is only going on tour. Tour! In 2020. 20! The tour is going to be called ‘Love On Tour’. Because Harry Styles loves you. Or something. I don’t know. His new album’s called ‘Fine Lines’. Is it something to do with that? Maybe it’s an anagram.

My first thought was that we should ask Harry himself about the name. Surely he’d have a comprehensive coherent answer. But it turned out he was too busy cranking up his love generator ready for tour time to be sullying himself by responding to tedious journalists.

So he sent some corporate suit out to speak for him instead. And I don’t mean his agent or his promoter or his management. No, we’re talking about a real corporate suit. We’re talking about Master Styles’ official credit card partner.

“We are THRILLED to partner with Harry to bring a new American Express Experience to our card members, including first access to his global tour and an unrepeatable night at his one-night-only show at the Forum”, says Brandy Sanders, Vice President Global Entertainment Partnerships & Experiences at American Express. “We know how passionate our card members are about music, so it’s exciting to continue to give them unparalleled access to the artists they know and love”.

Right, so Brandy mentioned love at the end there, but was basically useless. I mean, she was mainly talking about one single show. And a show in the fucking US of A too. Because she’s not talking about The Forum in London. Well, I assume she isn’t. That would be foolish, because Harry Styles is not planning to perform there.

So, basically, this has been a total waste of time. But that’s what happens, isn’t it Harry? That’s what happens when you give your tour a silly name and refuse to take responsibility for it, sending out your credit card partner to tackle the inevitable backlash. I hope you’re happy, Harry. I hope you’re fucking happy.

Anyway, here are the UK and Ireland dates. I should probably have just told you those straight off. Tickets go on sale on 22 Nov.

15 Apr: Birmingham, Arena Birmingham
17 Apr: Sheffield, FlyDSA Arena
19 Apr: Dublin, 3Arena
22 Apr: London, O2 Arena
23 Apr: London, O2 Arena
25 Apr: Manchester Arena
26 Apr: Glasgow, Hydro



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