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Brands & Merch
JLS to launch perfume
By CMU Editorial | Published on Friday 4 May 2012
JLS are bringing out their own perfume, because that’s what you do now. Called ‘Kiss’, it’s one for the ladies, because JLS don’t care how men smell. Presumably, with a name like that, it is designed to attract men though, and those men may then use some JLS condoms when copulating with those ladies, which would be pretty amazing product synergy within the JLS brand. I don’t know, it doesn’t say that in the press release. I bet that’s what someone said in a meeting at some point though.
What the press release actually says is that “this unique formulation contains a special ingredient that has been chosen by each of the boys to intoxicate your senses and mesmerise your soul”.
Having set it up so well in the first paragraph, I should probably insert a callback gag about condoms, secret perfume ingredients and product synergy here, but you probably already did it in your heads so I won’t bother. You are all disgusting.
Created with award-winning perfume designer Azzi Glasser, there are plenty of other ingredients in the scent besides semen, including (once again according to the press release): “energising notes of peach skin, loganberry and cheeky cassis [which] allure the senses straight into the deep heart of white jasmine, tuberose absolute, neroli flower and sensual black orchid which add passion which is supported by a hypnotic base of hot amber crystals, white musk, patchouli and rich oakmoss to add longevity”.
Sounds like they’ve overdone it a bit, if you ask me. But whatever, it’s going fairly cheap. A 30ml bottle will set you back £14, or you can get 60ml for the knock down price of £20, exclusively through The Perfume Shop from later this month.
