And Finally

Katy Perry’s boobs too big to salute the troops

By | Published on Friday 19 November 2010

If we write any more stories about Katy Perry’s breasts, they’re going to have to be thought of as artists in their own right. In fact, once again, they are in the news because they’ve upstaged the singer, so maybe they already have gone solo.

Last time Perry’s chest was in the news it was because parents deemed a dress the singer wore for her appearance on ‘Sesame Street’ too revealing. Now the complaint has come from the singer’s own people, who decided her pesky boobs are just too damn big, especially when paying tribute to the American military. They’ve asked for the singer’s breasts to digitally altered on a poster advertising VH1’s upcoming ‘Divas Salute The Troops’ concert, which is due to take place on 5 Dec, featuring a performance from Perry.

The concert will feature an all-female line-up performing for the US Army at the Marine Corps Air Station in San Diego and at an undisclosed military base in the Middle East, as well as being broadcast on VH1. Nicki Minaj, Keri Hilson and Paramore’s Hayley Williams (and the rest of Paramore, but that doesn’t fit the ‘all-female’ thing so well) are amongst those also on the bill. I imagine it’ll be like the Playboy bunnies scene in ‘Apocalypse Now’.

Wait, no, this is not about titillation. It’s about top class singing and rapping and that. There is nothing sexy about it. And not all soldiers are men now, you know. God, you’re so sexist. Katy Perry’s breasts being shrunk down on the poster, which features Perry parachuting into view, is proof of that. A source told Us magazine, quite matter-of-factly, that “her team thought her boobs looked too big”.

So, you see, there is nothing about this poster that is designed to be sexy in any way.