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Lady Gaga overcomes COVID-19 transport issues by making like Santa and delivering physical albums herself

By | Published on Thursday 28 May 2020

Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga’s new album ‘Chromatica’ is set for release tomorrow. So it was alarming to learn last night that delivery of physical copies to retailers around the globe only began yesterday. Even more so that Gaga herself is handling all distribution worldwide, alone in a relatively small truck.

“Delivering ‘Chromatica’ myself to every retailer around the world”, tweeted the musician last night, replete with images of both the truck she planned to carry out the work in and herself in a branded facemask. Safety first.

Of course, this all seems rather unlikely, but I see no reason why we shouldn’t take her at her word. After all, she adds, “in Chromatica, time and distance do not exist”.

This doesn’t explain how she’s going to fit all those CDs and slabs of vinyl in such a small truck, but I guess if time and distance are of no issue then she could make several trips back to the warehouse.

Her announcement also adds significant weight to the longstanding rumour that she is a direct descendent of the original Santa Claus and that she will one day quit music to take on the role of delivering presents to children around the world on Christmas Eve. I guess this is some sort of practice run.

Gaga is not the first pop star to use a truck to promote their new album. Although she did not handle global distribution of her 2013 release ‘Prism’ personally, Katy Perry sent out a large truck to travel around the US announcing the title and release date to Americans one by one. Despite it being massive and gold, a drunk driver still managed to crash into said truck on its journey.

A number of fans on Twitter have expressed concern that Gaga doesn’t have a driving licence following last night’s announcement. She did actually pass her test in 2016 though. Presumably the size of her truck is related to restrictions of that licence. She may not be bound by the laws of physics, but the laws of the land still stand.

Have I thought of enough reasons to avoid suggesting that this is a fairly weak, hastily thrown together marketing idea, after all other plans were blown out of the window by COVID-19, yet?



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