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Morrissey says he won’t do any more interviews (I know because I saw his mouth move)

By | Published on Tuesday 28 November 2017


Morrissey has claimed that he will never do another interview with a print title ever again, which may be what finally kills that side of the media industry once and for all. I know that Morrissey said this – by the way – because I watched a video of him saying it. However, until you too watch that video, you should assume that I just made it up.

The singer announced his withdrawal from future interviews at a show in Chicago on Saturday, following reporting of that recent interview with German newspaper Der Spiegel. The interview picked up a lot of attention because in it Morrissey defended Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey, suggesting that their victims were at least somewhat to blame. He also talked up Brexit, talked down multiculturalism, and claimed that the media is a form of social engineering.

Did he say all of that though? He would say no. Speaking to the audience at Chicago’s Riviera Theatre at the weekend, he said: “Let me just say this – that was the last print interview I will ever do. And unless you see the words form in my mouth and then you see the words or hear the words come out of my mouth – please, if you don’t see that, I didn’t say them”.

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We were able to put that new rule into practice the following day when a new print interview with Morrissey was published by The Sunday Times. Presumably an entirely fictional interview.

In said interview it was written once again that Morrissey had claimed that the accusations of sexual harassment against numerous entertainment industry figures were being blown out of proportion. “Often it can be just a pathetic attempt at courtship”, he is quoted as saying.

“I’m sure it’s horrific”, it is claimed he then added. “But we have to keep everything in proportion. Do you not agree? I have never been sexually harassed, I might add”.

Morrissey, as you may remember, claimed two years ago that he had been sexually assaulted by a member of staff at San Francisco International Airport during a security check. He made this claim twice via his True To You fansite.

Which either proves that the entire Sunday Times interview is made up. Or that you can’t trust anything on True To You. Or that Morrissey just likes to say reactionary things and then disassociate himself from them afterwards. It could be any of the above. Or none of the above. I’m a journalist, so this entire article is probably all made up.

Indeed, given that you didn’t see my mouth form any of these words, you can probably assume that nothing in this story happened and I am just a figment of your imagination.