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Simon Cowell fell down some stairs

By Chris Cooke | Published on Monday 30 October 2017

Simon Cowell fell down some stairs last week. Ha – imagine that! Simon Cowell. Falling down some stairs. Now let’s reimagine it soundtracked by the ‘Benny Hill’ theme tune. And now with the ‘Looney Tunes’ music. Maybe the theme from ‘Rhubarb’. And finally with ‘Teletubbies Say Eh-oh!’ on top. Urgh no. Now it’s all become rather sinister, hasn’t it?

But worry not, it’s OK to giggle at Cowell’s stair-falling, despite it resulting in him being rushed to hospital in a neck brace, because Dermot O’Leary has decreed it so. When stair-falling injuries forced Cowell to miss this weekend’s ‘X-Factor’, the ITV show’s host asked the programme’s other judges: “Who put the banana skin at the top of the stairs?”

That was a joke see. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Fellow judge Sharon Osborne insisted she had an alibi – “[I was] in the library with the candle stick”. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

They’ll be feeling less smug if Cowell now dies from undiagnosed head injuries. Though he insists to The Sun that “I’m feeling okay”. Ha ha!