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And Finally Artist News
Tool selling signed kitchen sink for charity
By Andy Malt | Published on Thursday 19 November 2020
Kitchens are nice, but everyone’s got one. They literally just get built into houses without anyone even asking. How do you make yours stand out from all the others? A big fridge? It’s been done. 10,000 spoons and no knives? Too 1996. How about installing a sink signed by all four members of Tool? Now that’s gonna be a talking point!
It might seem like a bit of daft entry in an otherwise bog standard rock n roll memorabilia auction, but you’ll note that we’re not talking about any of the other 787 items up for sale next month at auction house Julien’s. The rest is all signed-guitar this and dress-worn-at-an-awards-ceremony that. Boring. And they’ll add no value to your property either.
Julien’s don’t seem to think the Tool sink is all that weird, either. The description just blandly explains it’s “a kitchen sink signed by the members of Tool”. Doesn’t even add a ¯\(ツ)/¯.
That’s because it’s totally valid. All proceeds from the sale will also be going to the Ronnie James Dio Stand Up And Shout Cancer Fund, so it’s for a good cause. The auction house estimates a sale price of $500-700, but I think that underestimates the true value of this item. Think of the boost it will give your dinner parties!
“Oh, what’s that in your sink?”
“Only the signatures of all four members of Tool!”
“Who?”
“Oh, come on! Only the greatest and almost certainly the most influential progressive metal band of the last, well, probably ever”.
“I’m more of a Radio 2 person, myself”.
“For fuck’s sake, who even invited you?”
See? These are the kind of conversations you could be having for a relatively low outlay and the minor inconvenience of not being able to actually run water through your sink anymore. It’s a two bowl sink but both sides have been signed, before you get any ideas. Wash those away and your ticket to kitchen glory is gone.
You can flick through the full auction catalogue here (the sink is on page 259, nothing else is worth your time). Meanwhile, here’s a video of Tool drummer Danny Carey playing ‘Pneuma’ live, because, I don’t know, I’ve just been trying to make everyone watch it recently. Remember when you could go out and see bands live instead of just sobbing into your sink of an evening? No, me neither.
