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Universal Music extends its partnership with The Rolling Stones

By | Published on Monday 9 July 2018

The Rolling Stones

Universal Music has announced a “multi-faceted partnership” with The Rolling Stones, which is great news, because I hate single-faceted partnerships.

I mean, if you’re going to go to all the effort of forming an actual real life full-on partnership, why have only one facet? What a waste of everyone’s time and money that is. Pile of the facets, I say. The more facets the better. In fact, if you are ever forming an actual real life full-on partnership, make sure you check down the back of the filing cabinet, just in case there are any facets you forgot about that could be thrown into the deal.

“But what specific facets will make up this multi-faceted partnership?” you are all certainly wondered at this point. Well, the band’s “iconic recorded music”, obviously. That’s a facet you’d be foolish to leave out. But what else?

Well, maybe “audio-visual catalogues”. They’d make a very fine facet. And then some “archival support”. What a facet! Throw in some “global merchandising” while you’re at it, and now you’ve got a facet pile that’s looking damn good. And whatever you do, don’t forget the “brand management”. A top facet, that is. Providing you’ve got all those facets in your facet bag, then I think you’re ready to do business.

Universal Music, of course, has been working with The Rolling Stones for quite some time already, so what’s new about this deal? More facets, obviously!

“After a decade of working in partnership together, we are THRILLED to expand and extend our relationship with The Rolling Stones”, states Universal Music’s Chief Facets Officer Lucian Grainge. “We look forward to bringing our expertise and passion to bear as we put our global organisation to work on behalf of this iconic band who continue to create music and influence culture around the world”.

Speaking for the band, Joyce Smyth, facet manager for the Stones, added: “For many years now we’ve had a wonderful partnership with Universal Music and look forward to an even more successful future together”.

I wonder how many facets would be too many facets? I mean, we all love multi-faceted partnerships, but what if Grainge and Smyth have now put too many facets in the pile and they all fall over? I’m sure it’ll be fine. Nothing a bit of gaffer tape can’t fix.