CMU Daily - on the inside Monday 9th May

yesterday's Daily - Daily archive

In today’s CMU Daily:
- The happiest place on earth: Jacko trial update
- Ozzy diagnosed with Parkins disease
- Dre puncher to stand trial
- Foxy Brown rejects plea bargain
- Bay City Roller admits guilt
- Killers base song on murdered teen
- P Diddy’s plane struck by lightning
- More Glastonbury tickets go on sale via phone company
- Geldof denies plans for Live Aid II
- Single Review: Maximo Park - Graffiti
- Thousands flock to London for VE Day concert
- Audioslave rock Cuba
- KROQ announce Weenie Roast line up
- Brit bands top Austin City limits bill
- Starbucks concerned about the boss’ advisory label
- Kurt Cobain film not about Kurt Cobain
- Album Review: Ben Folds - Songs For Silverman
- Snocap sign up EMI
- NME editor wins at media awards
- Iggy releases retrospective
- Brian Eno to release new album
- Single Review: Nine Black Alps – Not Everyone
- Kelly O says drugs preceded fame
- Clarke praises Doherty
- Chart update
- This week’s Student Radio Chart
- Author compiles top tracks of misery



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VIGSY'S CLUB TIP: Big Chill Bar Sessions, Nathan Haines
No room to go into why this is appearing on a Monday this week, except to say it involved BT, moving a phone socket, the high possibility of UnLimited’s ADSL line going off and an extra urgency to get the Daily out. But it doesn’t matter, because this week’s tipped night takes place on Wednesday when the kiwi saxophone genius that is Nathan Haines, aka the 'squire for hire', graces the Chill Bar. Fresh from his home country, where he has been recording an album with the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra, Nathan will be spinning some of his favourite tunes plus playing live over Chris Cox's set. If you have not seen him play before it really is well worth checking out, and in preparation I’d recommend tracking down a copy of his truly awesome first album - 'Sound Travels' on Chilifunk. It’ll be a fantastic night, and it’s free, so no excuses.

Wed 11 May, The Big Chill Bar, Dray Walk, just off Brick Lane, London E1 6QL, 7pm-midnight, free, more info at, press info from Spacific Ltd (fax 020 7384 1177).


The mothers of the two former teenage friends of Michael Jackson, who last Thursday both denied the singer ever molested them, have both backed up their respective sons’ stories, telling the court about their love and respect for the singer.

Joy Robson and Marie Barnes were in court on Friday testifying as part of the second day of the defence’s case in the ongoing Michael Jackson trial. Jacko’s lawyers are hoping that having the mothers of Wade Robson and Brett Barnes testify will help support their claim that, while their client’s friendships with teenage boys might be unusual, they are not sinister.

Mrs Robson told the court that Jackson’s love of children was "very pure," and that his Neverland home was the "happiest place on Earth", adding that she trusted him with her son: "They enjoyed each other. I remember Michael telling me it was like looking in the mirror. He saw himself all over again."

Mrs Barnes also stressed how much she trusted Jackson, saying: "He's a very nice person. You just know when you can trust someone."

The prosecution then began the task of casting doubt on the credibility of the defence’s witnesses, something Jacko’s lawyers had been doing to their witnesses for weeks. They said Mrs Robson was indebted to Jackson because he helped her son build a career in the music business, assisted in legalising her family’s situation in America (they are Australian) and provided financial support. Robson admitted that Jackson had helped in those ways, but denied that such support blinkered her viewpoint: "You're trying to make me say that was the basis for our friendship and that is not true”.


It turns out Ozzy Osbourne’s famous tremors are not the result of his drug fuelled past life, or at least not completely. He has been diagnosed with Parkin Syndrome, an hereditary condition that affects the nervous system. Having being diagnosed he will now take drugs to help combat the condition.

When the tremors worsened in 2003 the Black Sabbath frontman had tests to see if he was suffering from Parkinson’s Disease, but he got the all clear. The new diagnosis follows more recent tests.

Ozzy: "I'd always assumed it was the booze and stuff. Now I've found it all stems from the family. It's called Parkin but it's not Parkinson's. Anything to do with the central nervous system has the word Parkin in it. A doctor in Los Angeles tried to tell me I had multiple sclerosis. And I believed him until I had a second opinion. When I told my sisters she said, 'Not you as well? Mum had that and Auntie Elsie and your grandma.' I'm like, 'Thanks for fucking telling me'. Me walking around thinking I've got some drug paralysis."


The man accused of punching Dr Dre at last year’s eventful US Vibe Awards will stand trial after a judge ruled there was sufficient evidence to proceed. As previously reported, Jimmy James Johnson is accused of walking up to Dre at the awards event and lashing out at Dre. In the fracas that followed, Dre protégé rapper Young Buck allegedly stabbed Johnson. Johnson will now face trial for his role in the incident. Young Buck is on bail, also awaiting trial.

At the time of the stabbing some reported that Johnson was an associate of rival hip hop mogul Suge Knight and there were rumours that Knight had put Johnson up to attacking Dre. If that was true Suge would be contravening his current parole conditions and would find himself back in jail. However Knight’s people have denied any connection with the incident throughout.


Rapper Foxy Brown appeared in Manhattan Criminal Court last week to plead ‘not guilty’ to those previously reported charges of assault and harassment. The rap star, who is accused of punching and kicking two nail salon employees in New York last year in a dispute over payment for a pedicure and a manicure, admits that an altercation took place but denies any physical attack.

Brown, real name Inga Marchand, has rejected a plea deal which would keep her out of jail without probation or conditions. The rapper’s lawyer Joseph Tacopina said she would not agree to any resolution that involved her admitting to a crime, adding that the offer was "normally a good one, but she's not guilty." Brown herself said "I have confidence in the criminal justice system. I am confident that I will be exonerated." Brown will appear in court again on 28 Jul.


And elsewhere in pop court news, Bay City Roller Les McKeown has admitted driving under the influence and crashing his car whilst more than twice the legal limit, as well as leaving the scene of an accident in North London back in 2004. Thames Magistrates heard how he was tracked down and subjected to a road side breath test after a witness called police, but initially he claimed that he had not been driving the car and had just returned from a meeting with Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood. The former pop star’s lawyer claimed that McKeown had "effectively panicked" when he walked away from the incident.

The singer was granted unconditional bail but was warned by the judge "If you are found driving while disqualified you will be sent to prison." McKeown will be sentenced on 12 May. It’s not the first time McKeown, who still tours with an updated version of the group known as the Legendary Bay City Rollers, has faced driving charges, as he was convicted of reckless driving after a woman's death in 1975.


The Killers have written a song about Jodi Jones, the Scottish schoolgirl murdered in 2003 by her fourteen year old boyfriend. The band heard coverage of the trial of Luke Mitchell, who stabbed Jodi to death in woods near her home in Dalkeith, near Edinburgh, whilst they were on tour in Glasgow. Frontman Brandon Flowers told NME that the song, which has already featured in the band’s live set, was written from Jodi's mother's perspective.

Some cynics have clearly been questioning their motives, as a spokesman for the band’s label told Scottish tabloid the Daily Record that The Killers were not trying to cash in on the tragedy, saying "We know it was a huge case in Scotland and it's not the band's intention to do or say anything that causes offence. We don't want the family to think the band are cashing in on it or commenting about what happened. They don't want to drag it up again and create bad memories for her family."


P Diddy’s chartered private jet was forced to make an emergency landing last week after being struck by lightning. According to the New York Post, Diddy was on his way to a business meeting in Miami when the lighting struck. No one was injured during the incident, but the pilot was forced to make an emergency landing in Palm Beach.


A third set of tickets for the Glastonbury Festival will go on sale tomorrow via mobile phone network Orange. The special ticket allocation is part of the phone company’s sponsorship package with the festival, and the tickets will only be available to the network’s customers.

That facility should prove quite a marketing coup to the phone company given how high demand for Glastonbury tickets has been this year. All 112,000 tickets were snapped up within hours of them going on sale, of course. And while 3000 extra tickets subsequently went on sale for the Sunday part of the festival, they were restricted to disabled festival-goers and local residents.

Of course, Glastonbury has always prided itself on being the least commercial of the music festivals, avoiding the kind of intrusive brand sponsorship accommodated by many other music events. With that in mind organisers are keen to play down the significance of a deal which gives customers of one specific phone network an extra chance to get tickets. Telling the BBC that only a "minimal amount" of tickets were available via this route, a spokesman said: "This is the same arrangement we've had with Orange for the last few years”.

Artists due to play Glastonbury this year include Kylie Minogue, Coldplay, New Order, White Stripes, Coldplay, The Killers, Doves, Elvis Costello, The Undertones and the Beach Boys' Brian Wilson.


Bob Geldof has formally denied rumours that he is planning to stage another Live Aid concert to coincide with the G8 summit, which is due to take place here in the UK in Jul. Speaking at the Rose d’Or TV Festival in Switzerland Geldof, said: "It is kite flying, that's all it is. It is just talk. Why would I possibly repeat something I did 20 years ago?"

However the Live Aid Trust confirmed that there are plans to stage some events around the G8 summit to raise awareness about Africa. Those events would coincide with the twentieth anniversary of the original Live Aid concert, and many include one or more benefit gigs in London. Reports suggest the Princes Trust and Capital Radio have already said that they would cancel plans for their annual Party In The Park event in central London if it turned out it would clash with music events planned by the Live Aid team.

A spokesman for the Live Aid Trust told reporters that their plans for any events around the G8 Summit might be confirmed this week following a meeting of the charity’s trustees, which include original organisers Midge Ure, Harvey Goldsmith and Geldof: "I would expect we will know something definite this week, after the trustees have met. If the Princes Trust have already indicated that they are prepared to step aside, then it would appear people are keen to see this happen."


SINGLE REVIEW: Maximo Park - Graffiti (Warp)
It's almost impossible to listen to Maximo Park's infectious second single without turning the volume up. Growling guitars, a brittle proper-northern Morrissey on vocals and a chorus lyric – "I'll do graffiti if you sing to me in French" – that's one of the most memorable so far this year. MP are so exciting that oddball dance label Warp records realised that dance music is in fact crap and signed them. Once you've heard this, you'll either be filling the streets with graffiti or singing to passionate Geordie boys in French. Either that, or you'll have formed a Maximo Park tribute band. WP
Release Date: 2 May
Press Contact: Ian Cheek [CP, RP,] Warp IH [NP, CR, RR, NR]


We were very tired on Friday morning after all that ‘up-all-night-watching-the-election’ stuff – so much so, we forgot to plug three of the big music events that were taking place this weekend – the Southport Weekender, Radio 1’s Big Weekend in Sunderland and the big VE day bash in London. Ah well, they’ve been and gone now.

Over 15,000 people gathered in Trafalgar Square for the latter of those – the televised finale to the VE day celebrations, sixty years on from the end of the second world war. There were wartime songs from the likes of Katie Melua, Daniel Bedingfield, Will Young, Cliff Richard (of course) and Dame Vera Lynn (of course). All fine stuff, though in a gesture of goodwill surely they could have slotted Kraftwerk in there somewhere.


Talking of big music events this weekend just gone, US rockers Audioslave became the first US rock band to play an outdoor concert in Cuba on Saturday night when they performed in front of thousands of fan at Havana's Anti Imperialist Plaza.

The fact authorities allowed the concert to go ahead marks a marked change of policy in the country, with rock ‘n’ roll previously viewed by the powers that be as one of America’s most effective weapons against Cuba’s cultural identity, especially among the younger population. Ironically the plaza that hosted the gig was built five years ago specifically for mass protests against the US government.

Commenting on the historic gig, Audioslave frontman Chris Cornell told reporters: "It's exciting to play music in a place that American bands haven't been to play and it's exciting to be the first American band to come and play some loud rock music and it's all about that. The music is what it's all about, period."


Talking of American music events, though back in America this time, LA alternative station KROQ have announced the line up for this year’s Weenie Roast event, which will take place on 21 May. Lined up to play are The Killers, The Bravery, Queens Of The Stone Age, Foo Fighters, Interpol, My Chemical Romance, Hot Hot Heat, Jimmy Eat World, Bloc Party, The Dead 60s, Alkaline Trio, The Mars Volta, MXPX and The Transplants.


Staying with American festivals for a minute, and good news for British music with the news that three UK bands will be featuring high up the bill at the Austin City Limits Music Festival which takes place in, erm, Austin, Texas from 23 – 25 Sep. Coldplay, Oasis and Franz Ferdinand are all on the bill which also includes Wilco, Jimmy Cliff and the Black Crowes. Other Brits lower down the bill include Kasabian, Aqualung, Bloc Party and The Futureheads.


Starbucks have announced they will not be stocking the new Bruce Springsteen album in the CD racks that appear in most of their US stores because they are concerned about its adult content. The chart topping album, ‘Devils and Dust’, is the first Springsteen release to come with a parental advisory sticker, perhaps relating to the track ‘Reno’ which apparently “describes an explicit encounter with a prostitute”.

However Starbucks were keen to stress that they sold only a limited number of CDs in their stores, and that their concerns about the album simply meant they had decided it was not a high enough a priority to be given a slot in their CD racks. The album is being sold in their two specialist Hear Music shops in California.


Good Will Hunting director Gus Van Sant is making a film which hints at what might have happened in the last hours of the life of Kurt Cobain. The movie, entitled 'Last Days', is not actually a biopic but centres around a character called Blake, who bears a striking resemblance to the late Nirvana frontman. The movie follows the character as he hides from managers, friends and record company executives during the lead-up to his death.

Van Sant has insisted this is not a film about Cobain, but a tribute to him. "He's like a Shakespearean Hamlet, reflecting on his personal ghosts and demons, and while I don't know what his were, I'm imagining what they might have been. We're not showing anything specifically that's challenging anyone. There are no answers, no 'This is causing that’”.

The film will be released in the UK in Sep.


ALBUM REVIEW: Ben Folds - Songs For Silverman (SonyBMG)
Now, you might ask, why am I reviewing the new Ben Folds album two weeks after its release? Well, firstly, SonyBMG originally forgot to send me a copy – though when prompted they did send me a super deluxe special edition complete with DVD and hardback book, so we’re not holding anything against them for that (in fact, for a short time after receiving the package SonyBMG were my very favourite record label in the world, I even found myself saying nice things about Westlife). The other reason for the delay is that when it comes to Mr Folds, and I consider myself something of an expert here, you have to give his new albums a little time to unfold in your mind. Every previous Folds / Folds Five album has gone through three stages in my consciousness. In stage one what you have is a collection of well-made well-performed piano heavy pop songs. But you have to give the album a few more plays before you can appreciate the epic, normally bittersweet, and sometimes tragic stories that lie within each song, and learn to love, loathe or, more often than not, weep for the characters they have at their heart. Stage three is where you become so close to the characters Mr Folds sings about that you start to think he wrote the whole thing about you and your closest friends. This is the stage where you find yourself dedicating considerable amounts of time to deciding just which of the musical masterpieces on each album is your favourite. None of this love, sadness, empathy and other pretentious nonsense comes on first listen, and sometimes it can takes weeks, months or, I’m ashamed to admit in the case of ‘Rockin The Suburbs’, years before it hits home, but when it does it becomes hard to imagine life without the knowledge that your Ben Folds albums are sitting there waiting to be played whenever you need them (which is why I’d never trust my whole record collection to an MP3 player – the chances of my Ben Folds songs being wiped, however small that chance might be, is just too scary to contemplate). With ‘Songs For Silverman’ I am just on the verge of entering stage two – but I can tell stage three will come with time. Ideally I’d rather review this album then, but couldn’t say when that would be – so all I can say for now is that this latest offering from Ben Folds will be one of my favourite albums ever made sometime soon. What’s more, it could be yours if you are willing to invest the time to make it so. CC
Release date: 25 Apr
Press contact: SonyBMG IH [all]


SnoCap, the digital music company set up by the original Napster founder Shawn Fanning, has signed up EMI to its P2P tracking service. That means all but Warner are now signed up to the service which will encode the major record labels’ respective catalogues in such a way that the majors could let their music travel via P2P file sharing networks while keeping track of how many times each track is shared. In theory such a system means P2P networks could go legitimate by charging a subscription to users, and passing that on to the record labels based on how many times tracks are shared.

However, the big challenge for the whole scheme, which has been generally well received in the music industry, is whether any P2P services will adopt a legitimate subscription model and, if they do, whether any P2P users would be willing to pay such a subscription. The success of the whole business model, therefore, probably depends on legislation changes that make it easier for record labels to find and prosecute copyright violators. And that means, ironies of ironies, that Fanning, the legendary creator of the world’s first major P2P network, might find himself lobbying for the essential outlawing of non-legit P2P.


Well done to NME editor Conor McNicholas who took the title of Consumer Editor Of The Year at last week’s PPA Awards For Editorial And Publishing Excellence, praised by judges for his “redefinition of the women's weeklies market". Oh, hang on, that’s what they said about Consumer Magazine Of The Year Closer. McNicholas was praised for his "personal commitment to the brand's commercial success”, whatever that means.

Well done also to the rest of this year’s PPA Award winners:

Consumer Magazine Of The Year: Closer (Emap Entertainment)

Weekly Business And Professional Magazine Of The Year: Marketing (Haymarket Business)

Monthly Business And Professional Magazine Of The Year: Food Manufacture (William Reed)

Customer Magazine Of The Year: Sainsbury's Magazine (New Crane)

Consumer Specialist Magazine Of The Year: Trail (Emap Active)

Consumer Lifestyle Magazine Of The Year: Conde Nast Traveller

Interactive Consumer Magazine Of The Year: Motorcycle News (Emap Automotive)

Interactive Business And Professional Magazine Of The Year: IFA Online (Incisive Media)

International Consumer Magazine Of The Year: FHM (EMAP)

Business And Professional Magazine Of The Year: Risk (Incisive Media)

Publisher Of The Year (Consumer Magazines): Mark Elliot, Empire (Emap East)

Publisher Of The Year (Business And Professional Magazines): David Goulthorpe, The Publican (Quantum Business Media)

Editor Of The Year (Consumer Magazines): Conor Mcnicholas, NME (IPC Ignite!)

Editor Of The Year (Business And Professional Magazines): John Welsh, Travel Trade Gazette (CMP)

Information Writer Of The Year (Consumer Magazines): AA Gill, GQ (Conde Nast Publications)

Writer Of The Year (Business And Professional Magazines): Tom Berry, Financial Director (VNU)

Business Publications Designer Of The Year (Consumer Magazines): Andy Thomas, Car (Emap Automotive)

Designer Of The Year (Business And Professional Magazines: Dave McCullough, Media Week (Quantum Business Media)

Publisher Of The Year (Companies With Fewer Than 50 Employees): Debra Doran, Mobile (Noble House Media)

Editorial Campaign Of The Year: Shaking Up Government IT, Computer Weekly (Reed Business Information)

Specialist Writer Of The Year (Consumer Magazines): Andrew Jefford, Waitrose Food Illustrated (John Brown Citrus Publishing)

Columnist Of The Year (Business And Professional Magazines): Dr Liam Farrell, GP (Haymarket Business)


Iggy Pop is to release a two disc retrospective collection entitled ‘A Million In Prizes’ on 19 Jul. The compilation, which contains 37 tracks, includes Stooges classics as well as more recent solo work. The tracklistings are as follows:

Disc One:

No Fun
I Wanna Be Your Dog
Down on the Street
I Got a Right
Gimme Some Skin
Search and Destroy
Gimme Danger
Raw Power
Kill City
China Girl
Sister Midnight
Lust for Life
The Passenger

Disc Two
Some Weird Sin
I'm Bored
I Need More
Run Like a Villain
Cry for Love
Real Wild Child (Wild One)
Cold Metal
Well Did You Evah!
Wild America
TV Eye (live)
Loose (live)
Look Away
I Felt the Luxury
Skull Ring


Some more album tracklisting news. Brian Eno is back with a new LP. The new album will be released on 14 Jun by Hannibal Records, an imprint recently revived by Rykodisc, and sees Eno returning to ‘song-based’ work following his 2001 electronic collaboration.

The tracklisting for the album, entitled ‘Another Day on Earth’ is as follows:

And Then So Clear
A Long Way Down
Going Unconscious
Caught Between
Passing Over
How Many Worlds
Just Another Day
Bone Bomb


SINGLE REVIEW: Nine Black Alps – Not Everyone (Universal/Island)
If I could use one word to describe this single, it wouldn’t be an adjective, it would be a noun: Riff. That’s the thing that stands out the most on this track, it’s a harsh, abrasive and, quite frankly, fucking wicked riff. It’s something the likes of which have not been heard since Nirvana, something distant from the faux-jaggedness of guitar music in 2005. Not, I hasten to add, that it harps back to some grunge epoch of yesteryear; Nine Black Alps are probably the most progressive band you’ll hear right now. FC
Release date: 23 May
Press Contact: Island IH [all]


Kelly Osbourne has said that she had a drug habit before The Osbournes began their reign as the first family of reality TV. According to The New York Post she said: "I was doing drugs before The Osbournes debuted, but suddenly hearing I wasn't thin enough or pretty enough didn't help me 'just say no.'

Kelly also spoke out about the pressure to be thin in Hollywood, calling it "a killer." She went on: "I suffered more for being fat than for being a junkie. It's an awful existence being famous. You realise it's not about you. It's about what others want you to be. It's why actresses succumb to eating disorders because food and weight is something, anything, they can control."

Ms Osbourne was admitted to a drug rehabilitation clinic in California last year, and in 2003 she cancelled a European tour because of "health reasons." As everyone knows, she is currently publicising her new LP and single, so we won’t need to mention it. Oh, go on then. The album’s called ‘Sleeping In The Nothing’, and will be released on May 23.


On to someone else with a single to plug. Ex Babyshambler Gemma Clarke has apparently been talking about how sweet her former bandmate Pete Doherty is, despite the fracas surrounding her exit from the band. "He's very thoughtful,” she said “I had flu on our first tour, and Peter was always bringing me honey and tea and fussing over me like a nurse. On my birthday he arranged for a big cake to come on stage with the band singing Happy Birthday to me. He's a sweet guy."

Clarke is now drummer with all girl rock outfit The Suffrajets. Their single ‘Sold’ was released on May 2


So, at long last, Tony Christie has been knocked off the top of the UK singles chart, pushed into second place by good old Akon with his ‘Lonely’ track. He tops the chart, beating Eminem whose somewhat lukewarm new single ‘Mockingbird’ gets the second highest new entry spot at number 4.

Loads of new entries this week – perhaps everyone was waiting for SonyBMG to stop releasing Elvis songs before they scheduled their big single releases, not realising it would be Christie and not Presley hogging the singles chart for most of Spring 2005. Anyway, this weeks new entries run thus: Weezer at 9, Lil Jon & The East Side at 10, Killers at 11, Faith Evans at 12, Maximo Park at 15, Chemical Brothers at 18, Freefaller at 21, Dogs at 29, Idlewild at 32, The Duke Spirit at 33, A at 35, El Presidente at 37 and Lucie Silvas at 38.

Albums wise and it’s a double win for Akon – he slides back to the top after 14 weeks in the album chart, presumably on the back of this week’s single success. Highest new entry on the albums chart is Nine Inch Nails who go straight in at 3, then you’ve got Robert Plant at 4, Cream at 6, John Williams' Star Wars soundtrack at 16, Ryan Adams & The Cardinals at 20, Amerie at 32, and James Blunt at 34. Plus there are re-entries for Destiny's Child at 28 and Eminem at 35 for some reason I don’t quite understand.


1. [1] Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc (EMI/Parlophone)
2. [3] The Coral - In The Morning (Deltasonic)
3. [2] Oasis - Lyla (Big Brother)
4. [5] Kaiser Chiefs - Everyday I Love You Less And Less (B-unique)
5. [6] Coldplay - Speed Of Sound (EMI/Parlophone)
6. [11] Razorlight - Somewhere Else (Universal/Mercury)
7. [13] Hot Hot Heat - Goodnight Goodnight (Warner)
8. [16] Futureheads - Decent Days And Nights (679)
9. [18] Black Eyed Peas - Don’t Phunk With My Heart (Universal/Polydor)
10. [8] Caesars - Jerk It Out (EMI/Virgin)
11. [12] Maximo Park - Graffiti (Warp)
12. [NE] White Stripes - Blue Orchid (Beggars/XL)
13. [17] Bloc Party - Banquet (Wichita)
14. [20] The Killers - Smile Like You Mean It (Lizard King)
15. [4] Snoop Dogg - Signs (Universal/Polydor)
16. [7] Athlete - Half Light (EMI/Parlophone)
17. [14] Weezer - Beverly Hills (Universal/Polydor)
18. [9] Audio Bullys - Shot You Down (EMI/Source)
19. [15] Doves - Snowden (EMI/Heavenly)
20. [19] Idlewild - I Understand It (EMI/Parlophone)
21. [RE] Bodyrockers - I Like The Way (Universal/Mercury)
22. [RE] Mylo - In My Arms (SonyBMG/Breastfed)
23. [26] Willy Mason - So Long (EMI/Virgin)
24. [NE] Eminem - Mockingbird (Universal/Interscope)
25. [NE] The Magic Numbers - Forever Lost (EMI/Heavenly)
26. [RE] Editors - Munich (Absolute)
27. [NE] The Ordinary Boys - Boys Will Be Boys (B-unique)
28. [RE] The Duke Spirit - Love Is An Unfamiliar Name (Universal/Polydor)
29. [NE] Maroon 5 - Must Get Out (SonyBMG)
30. [NE] Nine Inch Nails - The Hand That Feeds (Universal/Island)


Oh God. ‘I Hate Myself and Want to Die’ That’s not how I feel right now, it’s the name of a very cheerful sounding book, authored by Tom Reynolds, and listing the 52 most miserable songs in history. Reynolds told The Independent: "A depressing song is one that ruins your day when it comes on the radio. A lot of them are really mind blowing. I had to adopt an emotional distancing that homicide detectives have when they investigate a crime scene. After you've listened to 50 different versions of 'Send in the Clowns' you just want to put a gun in your mouth."

The misery inducing tracks are sorted into different sections, which include ‘Horrifying Remakes of Already Depressing Songs’, ‘I'm Telling a Story Nobody Wants to Hear’, ‘I Had No Idea That Song Was So Morbid’ and ‘I Mope, Therefore I Am’. The book also has an overall top ten, headed by an the obscure Newsong with ‘The Christmas Shoes’, a 2000 chart topper in the US. Surprisingly, The Smiths didn’t make the top ten. Surprisingly, ‘Total Eclipse Of The Heart’ did. I mean, the lyrics may be a little dodgy, but it’s a pretty perky tune. Anyway, here’s the full top ten:

'The Christmas Shoes' by Newsong
'The Shortest Story' by Harry Chapin
'Honey' by Bobby Goldsboro
'Total Eclipse of the Heart' by Bonnie Tyler
'Seasons in the Sun' by Terry Jacks
'DOA' by Bloodrock
'Strange Fruit' by Billie Holiday
'Hurt' by Nine Inch Nails
'Sister Morphine' by Marianne Faithfull
'People Who Died' by the Jim Carroll Band

I’m off now to the CMU kitchen to hide anything sharp.

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