CMU Daily - on the inside Tuesday 4th July
yesterday's Daily - Daily archive

In today's CMU Daily:
- BPI given green light to sue Allofmp3 in UK courts
- Lil Kim is out of klink
- Label say this Dr O is official
- Powderfinger campaign for Go-Betweens bridge
- Who show available for download
- Musicians contribute to Young's website
- Pharrell on future plans
- Mercury founder dies
- Goldfrapp pull Roskilde appearance
- Roots tour
- TCR breaks BBQ this weekend
- Finger Lickin take over Fabric
- Bertelsmann looking to "optimise" SonyBMG share
- IFPI step up campaign against Chinese search engines
- V2 announce office move and restructure
- Real Radio do well at Commercial Radio Awards
- Local radio chief attacks BBC
- RadioCentre call for action against pirates
- C4 re-commission album chart show
- HMV share buy back and price slash
- McCartney and Starr go to Vegas show
- Hotel opens Beatles suite to public
- Another Spice Girls reforming rumour
- Chris Martin is Evil


It's the Radio Festival in Cambridge this week, so let's ramble about all things radio shall we? The commercial radio sector has been in complaining mode again this week. The boss of one of the smaller commercial radio groups has been voicing a common complaint across the whole sector - the dominance of the BBC among certain radio demographics (dominance achieved, they argue, by a mis-use of the licence fee). Meanwhile the new commercial radio body, RadioCentre, has been calling on the government to take tougher action against pirate radio stations - they being, the RadioCentre argues, epi-centres of all things criminal and wrong.

Now, I'm not particularly speaking up in favour of the way the BBC spends its licence fee (nor the Beeb's current bid to boost it), and nor am I defending the more sinister types that are, admittedly, behind certain pirate radio stations. However, a lot of the problems the commercial radio sector is currently facing are actually the result of mis-management in that sector more so than the actions of the BBC or the pirates. For years commercial radio bosses justified their increasingly generic, increasingly formulaic, increasingly tedious programming and music policies by telling us it's "what the people want". Actually, the output of many of these stations was more "what people will just about tolerate" rather than "what they want". Which means that, while there is a big enough audience for the generic dull-fm format for most commercial stations to tick over just fine, if the commercial sector wants to expand, and to reach new demographics (or, ultimately, to ensure they will be able to compete if and when the unregulated web radio sector takes off) they need to do something radically different.

The problem is that the commercial sector lost huge amounts of creative talent during the nineties because, while audiences might have tolerated the overly-managed nonsense the commercial sector started to broadcast, the really good presenters and producers did not - and they jumped ship. Meanwhile many of those creative presenters and producers still employed in the sector are too often ignored - their innovative programming ideas ignored in favour of a centralised music and programming policy based on some dubious audience research and created by people often far removed from a target demographic - geographically and culturally.

Of course, the commercial sector isn't clouded by quite so much doom and gloom as some coverage sometimes suggests - radio as a medium is just as popular now as it has ever been, the commercial sector still performs well in some key demographics, and the interactive digital age makes radio more exciting than ever. But the commercial sector still needs to find, and recruit, those non-market research based creative minds working within and outside their sector (several are probably currently running pirate radio stations) to create commercial formats other than generic dull-fm. By doing that they might just find they start to make in roads into new audience sectors, even with the competition posed by an overly-funded BBC and all those shady pirates.



BigTime TV / RockChic(TM) - Channel Manager
To mark Fender(r)'s 60th anniversary, BigTime TV has invited 60 world-renowned creators to customise a Stratocaster(r). The exhibition 'RockChic' launched to huge acclaim in Paris, and is now set to move to Dublin and London, before the guitars are auctioned for charity. Contributing creators include: Bryan Adams (ft Kate Moss), Agnes B, Christopher Bailey, Bono, Sir Peter Blake, Anton Corbijn, Patrick Cox, Buddhist Punk, Diane Von Furstenberg, Jamie Hewlett , David LaChapelle, Peter Lindbergh (ft Keith Richards), Jennifer Lopez, Jean Baptiste Mondino, Rankin (ft Heidi Klum), Nick Rhodes, Johnny Rocket, Lord Richard Rogers, Hedi Slimane (Dior), Philippe Starck.

BigTime is looking to recruit a Channel Manager who will coordinate the logistics of staging the show in Dublin and London, providing a day to day link between our exhibition venues, production team, publicists and the 60 creators. In addition, the Channel Manager will play a key role in developing complimentary RockChic channels - including a book, a dynamic digital channel and possibly a TV documentary. The manager will also be responsible for identifying new commercial opportunities and partners for both the online and physical manifestation of RockChic. The Channel Manager should be a good organiser and people person, able to balance various concurrent projects. Editorial and web skills an advantage, ability to get on the phone and talk to potential partners a must. Applicants should send a CV to [email protected] - check for more information on Rock Chic.



Can't be arsed to research festivals this summer? The Aloud Festival Guide has got the info on over 60 events taking place, written by music-lovers for music-lovers. As well as news and updates, we've got on-site blogging from the festivals, features, photos and advice from the illustrious Professor Portaloo - don't shag Anne Widdecombe scores quite highly. You can also win tickets to Lovebox, Belladrum and Bestival by sending in your photos, and feature in our summer podcast - brilliant!



Kill All Hippies returns this Friday - 7 Jul - at the 333 in Shoreditch. This month you'll find Komakino and Milk Teeth live on stage plus Jeff Automatic and DJ Frankie D on the decks in the basement, and the Fully Comprehensive guys doing their stuff on the ground floor - with Gavin Nugent, Mark Beaumont, Syrinx and the Cooper Temple Clause boys doing the DJ thing. Tickets are a tenner unless you guest list in advance, then it's just a fiver, you can do that at

Not only that but on Sunday 23 Jul Kill All Hippies will be bringing some rock sensibilities to the Lovebox Weekender at London's Victoria Park by hosting its own big top arena featuring some great live bands and DJ action. On stage will be Battle, White Rose Movement, Longcut, Rumple Strips, The Delilahs and Little Barrie. Not only that, but the Kill All Hippies co-founders Eddy TM and Jagz Kooner will be hosting the day and taking to the decks - supported by Charlotte Hatherley and Gavin Nugent.

Full press releases for both KAH July and KAH at Lovebox at:



Talita talks to Liv Kristine of Leaves Eyes, and also to influential New York hardcore/metal band Leeway ('Metal Lunchbox', noon to 3pm). Feebz welcome Stone Sour to TotalRock ('Helldrive', 3-6pm). Listen live at



MySpace Of The Day: Get Loaded In The Park
The NME headlined the news that Babyshambles have recorded a new single with the line 'Babyshambles Line Up Shock Release'. Quite how it can ever be a 'shock' when a band record something I'm not sure - recording things being something bands do. A lot. I guess their point is that Babyshambles are currently sans-label, so a new single was unexpected - so, OK, a 'surprise' perhaps. But why is this relevant to this MySpace? Well, Babyshambles have recorded new single 'Beg Steal Or Borrow' specifically to distribute to fans at the Get Loaded In The Park festival, which takes place on Clapham Common on 27 Aug. Apparently it's a thank you to their fans for sticking by them, or possibly a thank you to Get Loaded's promoters for actually booking the famously erratic four-piece. With all that in mind, the only place you can preview this single is, yep, you guessed it, here on the official MySpace of the festival. Also streaming are tracks from other headline acts Graham Coxon, Lily Allen and Buzzocks, though they aren't exclusives I'm afraid. As you'd expect, there's also a load of line up and ticket info - which is in itself good to check out if you're not currently booked up on the August Bank Holiday weekend, because this is a really good end-of-summer festival - especially for all you London types (no negotiating the reduced service on the Reading railway line for this one). So go see. And no, I don't know how they got that big poster to appear right at the top of the page - though I'm not sure Tom (or Rupert) would approve.

This and more at


Good news everybody. Well, possibly less so if you rely on to fill your digital music collection. But great news if, like me, you're a fan of digital music lawsuits, because the High Court in London has given the green light to the UK record industry body the BPI to sue Russian download service through the British courts, even though said download platform is based in Russia.

As previously reported, the trade body announced its intention to sue the cut price Russian download service at a parliamentary hearing on the digital music sector at the start of last month., which offers downloads from chart topping international artists for just pennies, claims it is operating within Russian copyright laws, but the International Federation Of The Phonographic Industry and its partner organisations argue that, even if that is so, it cannot operate legitimately in other countries. The BPI action will aim to stop the company from trading in the UK.

Confirming that the UK High Court had ruled it could hear the case against the Russian company, BPI General Counsel Roz Groome told CMU yesterday: "This is an important step forward in our battle against We have maintained all along that this site is illegal and that the operator of the site is breaking UK law by making sound recordings available to UK based customers without the permission of the copyright owners. Now we will have the opportunity to demonstrate in the UK courts the illegality of this site. The reason downloads are cheap, is that neither the artists nor the record companies are being paid. It is only the operator of the site who is benefiting from the sales to UK customers."

While organisations like the BPI fight AllofMP3 in their home courts, pressure is also being put on the Russian authorities by a number of politicians in the West to tighten up their copyright laws so that AllofMP3 would be illegal there too.


US rap star Lil Kim has been released from prison in Pennsylvania, after serving just under ten months of her twelve month sentence for perjury. As previously reported, she will now spend the next thirty days under house arrest, and her release will remain supervised for the next three years. As she emerged from the Philadelphia Federal Detention Center, she was greeted by fans, some of whom had camped overnight to see her.

The hip-hopper, real name Kimberly Jones, was, of course, convicted of perjury last year after lying about her friends' involvement in a shooting outside New York's Hot 97 radio station in 2001. Jones said in a recent statement: "I am thrilled to be coming home. I thank all my fans for all their letters, as well as my family and friends for all their support throughout the past 10 months."


Following those reports last week that some in the world of the web were questioning whether the upcoming new Dr Octagon album had the Kool Keith seal of approval (despite his definite involvement in the project - unlike with 2004's unofficial sequel 'Dr. Octagon Part II'), we have received this reassurance from the US label releasing the new long player: "The bottom line is that this is an authentic Dr Octagon album. Keith approached the record label about doing the new Dr Octagon record, he got paid to do the new Dr Octagon record, and he went into the studio a number of times to record the new Dr Octagon record. Apart from all this, it's the best record Keith's done in how many years? It's Dr Octagon guys!"

So there you go. By the way, we also reported last week that the label were pre-promoting the new Dr O album by releasing a whole series of remixes - and the second one arrived in my inbox yesterday. I'll try and find out if there's a link where you can download it from.


A campaign to name a bridge in Brisbane after The Go-Betweens has been backed by fellow Australian band Powderfinger, as well as singer-songwriter Paul Kelly and Labour MP Peter Garret, formerly of Midnight Oil. The group have submitted the proposal to Brisbane City Council, who have organised a competition to find a suitable name for the $55.5-million bridge, which is at present under construction.

The campaign is, no doubt, inspired at least in part by the urge to create a memorial for Go-Betweens founder, Grant McLennan, who, as previously reported, died suddenly on 6 May this year at the age of 48.


The Who have announced that fans will be able to download live tracks from their appearance at Hyde Park at the weekend for just 60p a time, with all proceeds going to charity. The band, as previously reported, played in the London park on 2 Jul, topping a bill that also featured Razorlight, Primal Scream and The Zutons.


Neil Young is giving fellow musicians and fans the chance to broadcast their own anti-war songs and videos on his own anti-war website. The Canadian star's album site 'Living With War', part of his official web page, is mocked up to look like the cover of American national newspaper US Today and links to charity donation sites, as well as carrying a list of protest songs and protest videos. Current contributors include the likes of Kris Kristofferson, Steve Earle, and Steve Forbert.


Pharrell Williams has been speaking to Billboard about his future plans. As previously reported, Williams releases his solo debut 'In My Mind' this month, but is also thinking ahead to a third NERD album, which is really, really, really good news. Williams says: "We're going back in. I would like to have a first single drop in the first or second quarter of next year."

On the production side of his life, Williams also confirmed that the Neptunes are producing new music for Jay-Z, who, has previously reported, is rumoured to be coming out of his so-called retirement. Apropos of something or other to do with that, the producer/performer said: "I don't like talking about shit like that - I like people to hear the record. Different people inspire different things from me so the songs [I produce] are never going to sound the same. I used to have a formula maybe six or seven years ago but that got boring."


Mercury Records co-founder Irving Green has died at the age of 90, from natural causes. Green founded the label back in 1945 with colleagues Berle Adams and Arthur Talmadge. Via the company, Green is credited with helping to break down the industry's colour barrier, by promoting artists such as Louis Armstrong, Sarah Vaughan and Dinah Washington, of course, and becoming the first major label to have a black high-level executive, hiring then trumpeter Quincy Jones as vice president.

Green moved on to land development after Mercury was sold to Polygram in the seventies, building hundreds of homes in Iran, before becoming a developer in Palm Springs. He is survived by a wife, two daughters, three grandchildren; and six great-grandchildren.


Alison Goldfrapp was forced to pull out of her appearance at the Roskilde Festival on Sunday, due to throat trouble. The singer received medical attention, but was subsequently unable to perform and Goldfrapp's 8.30pm appearance was pulled at the last minute.

The band have apologised via a statement on their website: "Goldfrapp apologise for the late withdrawal from the Roskilde festival yesterday. This was due to Alison having a problem with her throat and despite attention from the doctor it was decided after much discussion that she could not perform. We would like to apologise to all the fans who were disappointed and can assure you every effort was made to avoid this situation. Thanks everyone."


Philadelphia's finest (possibly) The Roots have announced a series of UK tour dates to promote their new album. The long player, 'Game Theory', is out 29 Aug via Def Jam Left, and they'll mosey on over to see us about it just before Christmas. Dates as follows.

10 Dec: Bristol, Carling Academy
11 Dec: London, Shepherd's Bush Empire
12 Dec: London, Shepherd's Bush Empire
14 Dec: Birmingham, Carling Academy
15 Dec: Manchester, Apollo
17 Dec: Glasgow, Carling Academy
18 Dec: Belfast, Queens Hall


Pretty much every artist that has ever recorded with top breaks label TCR (well, the ones that reside on this side of the planet) will be at The Lockside Lounge in Camden this Saturday (8 Jul) for the now annual TCR Breaks BBQ all-dayer. Kicking off at 1pm and running to 2am, this free event is surely pretty self explanatory - a quality barbeque and some quality breaks courtesy of TCR - simple. On the decks will be, in alphabetical order: Arthur Baker, BLIM, Breakneck (Tamsin & Vlad), Chris Carter, Danny McMillan, Diverted, Ellis Dee, General Midi, High Eight, JHz (Roxiller), JDS, Koma&Bones, Pippa, Rennie Pilgrem and Vigi - with more tbc. More info at - press info from [email protected]


And while you have your breaks diaries out (you all have breaks diaries, right?) stick this in. Finger Lickin will be celebrating their seventh anniversary with a special party at FabricLive, again offering a drum & bass come breaks feast featuring no less than: Plump DJs, Soul of Man, Drumattic Twins, Scott Nixon, Goldie, DJ Hype, Pendulum, DJ Fresh, Peshay, Macpherson, Marcus Intalex, Calibre, DJ Lee (Old Skool Metalheadz Set) and Benji B. It all takes place on 14 Jul at Fabric in London - more info at, press info from Finger Lickin or Fabric.


There is more (yes, more) speculation about the relationship between Bertelsmann and Sony regarding their joint venture major record company, SonyBMG, after comments made by the former's CFO in German newspaper Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung.

Bertelsmann CFO Thomas Rabe told the newspaper that the German media conglomerate remains committed to the recorded music industry, but that it was in talks with Sony Corp regarding restructuring its 50% share of SonyBMG.

Rabe said: "We believe in the music business and see a positive trend, particularly in the digital segment. However, we will be sitting down with Sony to look at whether we can optimise the joint-venture financially".

Rabe did not elaborate on what he meant by "optimising" Bertelsmann's share. While the German group seem resistant to those previously reported proposals that they sell their half of SonyBMG in order to fund their recent buyout of group level minority shareholder GBL, many commentators still reckon that the German company may well sell some of its stake, most probably to Sony Corp, in a bid to reduce its other debt commitments. The fact that Rabe did not deny such a plan in his recent interview is seen by some as further proof that that is the topic of discussion between the two joint venture partners.

Rabe did comment on the sale of Bertelsmann's music publishing company, which is definitely being sold off to help finance the GBL buyback. Describing the sale as a "sacrifice", the CFO told the paper: "We are very reluctant to divest ourselves of BMG Publishing. However, as it contributes only 2% to Bertelsmann Group sales, it is the smallest sacrifice with a great effect."


The liability of search engines for the illegal content their services point to is a growing area in the record industry's fight against online piracy, and no more than in China, where the International Federation Of The Phonographic Industry is in legal dispute with the two biggest search engine companies on that very issue. The IFPI hope that new Chinese laws on the issue will help them win their case there.

As previously reported, the IFPI has been in dispute with China's largest search engine,, for over a year. It objects in particular to Baidu's MP3 search function which enables people to search for music files online - many of the music files listed in those searches come from illegal sources. The record industry won a civil case against Baidu in the Chinese courts last year, but the company is appealing that ruling and in the meantime attempts to reach an out of court settlement have proved unsuccessful.

This week the record label trade body announced it is also suing Yahoo China over the same issue - the Chinese version of the global search engine being owned 40% by Yahoo Corp. Lawyers for the record labels also say they hope to utilise new Chinese laws, that came into effect at the weekend, to aid their battle against the search engines. Those laws make it a criminal offence for search engines to knowingly link to illegal sources of content. For the search engines, the penalties of losing a criminal case are much higher than in a civil trial.

Commenting on the cases against the Chinese search engines, IFPI chief John Kennedy told reporters yesterday: "We've started the process, and as far as we're concerned we're on a track to litigation. If negotiation can prevent that, then so be it. It's quite strange to see entities quoted on public stock exchanges trading with such blatant infringement that could get [them] a huge damages award. If I was a chief executive, I'd be nervous. If I was a shareholder, I'd be nervous."

Phew, tough talking. I'm not a chief executive or a shareholder, but I'm a bit nervous all the same.


When V2 announced that investment bank Morgan Stanley had bought out the Virgin Group's share in the independent label earlier this year, the company's Tony Harlow said he didn't think the deal would concern artists on the record company's roster too much, especially as Richard Branson was keeping a personal 5% stake in the company. He was possibly right, though given that since that sale the company has closed its in-house press department, and yesterday it announced that it was moving from its swish Holland Park base to new offices in Fulham, while promising a restructure that will, according to Music Week, "put digital at the centre of its operation", I wouldn't be surprised if they are starting to get a bit concerned now. This kind of restructuring at record labels is, after all, often followed by a roster cull. Time will tell I guess.


Hurrah - it's the radio awards event where the BBC don't win everything, albeit because they're not allowed to enter. Yep, it was the Commercial Radio Awards at the end of last week, the annual back slapping fest for the commercial radio sector.

Among the winners this year were the Guardian Media Group owned Real Radio, which took four awards in total - Best Commercial Radio News and Best Radio Feature for its Yorkshire station, Commercial Station Of The Year for its Scottish outlet, and the Gold Award for all round achievement.

Elsewhere GCap's classic rock station Planet Rock took the Best Digital Station award, LBC's Nick Ferrari was named Presenter Of The Year, while former Radio 1 DJ come Classic FM host Simon Bates was given one of those lifetime achievement things for his "remarkable career".


Lots of radio news this week, possibly because it's the Radio Academy's Radio Festival in Cambridge. Certainly the anti-BBC rant published by the boss of local radio firm UKRD yesterday was timed to coincide with a speech at the festival by BBC top guy Mark Thompson.

In an open letter to the Beeb, UKRD CEO William Rogers accused the Corporation of using a "growing commercial approach" to "dominate local markets by ruthlessly cross-promoting its services using public money". In fact the BBC is harming the local commercial sector so much, Rogers argues, they should be passing on a share of the licence fee to commercial stations to fund their public service output.

Thompson's rant was mainly focused on the BBC's current attempts to get the licence fee increased - an increase, the UKRD chief argues, which cannot be justified. Nevertheless, according to the Guardian, he concludes his open letter by saying the BBC probably will get everything it wants because of an "unhealthy relationship" between the Beeb and the government. He writes: "I have come to the conclusion that the BBC will end up getting what it wants and I don't mean the extra sum on top of inflation that they claimed they wanted. That was, as far as I can see, simply an opening shot in the negotiations. The BBC is simply after an increase. They wouldn't know a real funding or income problem if it smacked them across the face".


And it's not just the BBC that the commercial radio sector has a beef with. They want the government to crack down on pirate radio stations too - arguing that the pirates are a menace to communities and are often run by criminal gangs.

In a statement, the new commercial radio body, RadioCentre, has urged the government to act, on the basis that: "Pirate radio operators steal music copyright, endanger the lives of airline passengers and those needing the help of emergency services, and interfere with the broadcast signals of legal radio services. In doing so, they rob BBC licence fee payers of services they have paid for and commercial and community radio listeners of services licensed to serve them."

The RadioCentre argues that authorities do not do enough to close down pirate radio stations and, more importantly, even when they do those involved are often just fined a few thousand pounds, which does not, they say, act as a deterrent to stop people from launching or re-launching pirate services.


Channel 4 has re-commissioned its Album Chart Show, and announced that it plans to put the next series on air on a Friday night rather than a Saturday afternoon, possibly keen to position the show as the natural prime time successor to the soon to be defunct Top Of The Pops. As with the first series, the chart show will feature a number of live performances, artist interviews and a countdown of the UK album chart. In the run up to the new series, which should kick off in August, highlights from series one are available via Once the new series airs you will presumably be able to watch it live via the Channel 4 website - given that they launched their live simulcast services over the weekend, the first UK broadcaster to do so - it's at


The HMV Group are reportedly about to unveil a major share buy-back programme. According to the Sunday Telegraph, the group will buy back about £200 million in shares. If I had any idea what that meant, I'd be an even duller person than I already am (which is pretty dull).

Elsewhere in HMV news, the Mail On Sunday has reported that the music retail chain is planning to slash its prices this week in an effort to compete with those pesky supermarkets.


Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr have attended the premiere of that previously reported Beatles/Cirque De Soleil show in Las Vegas. Also in attendance were Yoko Ono and Olivia Harrison, the widows of their late band-mates John Lennon and George Harrison. Starr commented: "It was emotional because two of us aren't there. So it really comes home when you're watching this."

Beatles' producer George Martin, who co-created the show's sound with his son Giles said: "If John [Lennon] saw the show, he'd probably say 'yeah, but it could be better'. He was never satisfied with anything that he ever did in his life. In his mind, he had a dream world which could not be realised."

Yoko Ono added: "All this time when I was working on this show in the rehearsals, I thought 'oh, John should be here,' That's the only thing that I regret, the fact that he's not here, because he would have enjoyed it so much."


Talking of The Beatles, a Japanese hotel where the band stayed on their only visit to the country has opened the suite they occupied to the public. The Capitol Tokyu Hotel, then the Tokyo Hilton, hosted the fab four when they played a number of concerts in Japan back in 1966. A spokesperson for the hotel, Michael Miyauchi, said: "We have done our best to restore the presidential suite to how it looked when the Beatles stayed."

It's not the only event taking place in Japan to celebrate the fortieth anniversary of the band's visit, with Beatles tribute bands taking part in a competition to see who's the best, whilst an exhibition of photos taken during their stay is also on show. Commenting on the group's cultural impact on the country, someone called Keiko Iwai said: "They exuded a new approach that we Japanese had never experienced before. Their hairstyle was so popular, their fashion sense. I remember watching the movies, too."


The News Of The World has been stirring up the old will-the-Spice-Girls-reform debate. At the weekend, the tabloid, whilst dispelling rumours that band members were planning to reunite for Children In Need, claimed that the girl-group have made plans to meet with former manager Simon Fuller and discuss a comeback.

A no-doubt-reliable source said: "They'll have an informal dinner and then get down to business about the reunion. The girls can't do the reunion without Simon. He still has a deal over their touring and merchandising."

Of course, as always, it's hearsay. And surely Mel C wouldn't agree to it? Why, only last month she told the Sunday People: "I haven't changed my mind. I was approached earlier in the year and took a long time thinking about it. My heart and head said no. It's not something I want to do. That has not changed. I'd rather be remembered for how we were than spoil it with a reunion."


Chris Martin has said that he feels bad about the way he spoke to some woman. Even though she was slagging off his band at the time, he says he shouldn't have insulted her about her weight. Quite why this woman turned up at his home in Belsize Park and launched a verbal attack on Coldplay is not exactly clear. No, it wasn't me, before you ask. I have nothing personal against him, or his band. And in fact, if someone did that to me, I'd want to tell that person to fuck off too. But we must, nonetheless, conclude that Chris Martin is Evil.

He said: "When someone insults you to your face about your music, the first thing you want to do is pick on something about their appearance. It's a terrible thing but I had this woman parked outside our house. I would never say it to anyone else, but she drove me so crazy that I advised her to go to Weight Watchers, which was not a very nice thing to say. I'm not proud of it, but it's weird how if you sort of feel like you're being attacked you can become a real arsehole."

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