CMU Daily - on the inside Thursday 23rd November
yesterday's Daily - Daily archive

In today's CMU Daily:
- Grouper.com deny Universal's copyright violation allegations
- Green Day join oil campaign
- Stars line up for charity album
- Cocker confirms first solo single
- Timbaland solo album
- Thom Yorke's favourite song
- Antony & The Johnsons get Shakespearian
- Jamie T album details
- Coxon muses on Blur reunion
- Gwen in No Doubt in future
- Jerseylive 2007 announced
- Album review: Acoustic Ladyland - Skinny Grin
- Virgin Mobile launch mobile ticketing promotion
- Nu-song sign Robbie collaborator
- PRS appoint new deputy chair
- Italian industry groups back internet café anti-piracy raids
- Dylan radio show to air on 6music
- Napster sponsor Film4
- C4 boss has concerns over Sky's ITV shares purchase
- So, how do you define independent again?
- Girls kick coolness ass, official
- Mills McCartney: divorce worse than limb loss
- Ordinary Boys accused of being tight
- There are no portaloos at music festivals, okay?

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VOTE FOR YOUR FAVOURITE TRACK OF THE YEAR
Email in song title, artist and a sentence on why it's your favourite to 2006@cmumusicnetwork.co.uk

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TOP BIT >>
Well, tradition dictates that we celebrate Thanksgiving with a quick run through some recent votes in the CMU Favourite Track Of The Year poll thingy. Well, if I remember to do this on the fourth Thursday in the month next year it will. So here we go, some more best tracks of the year as voted for by CMU Daily readers...

Clare Morgan, Fabric: The Nextmen - Blood Fire
"Just one of those tunes that genuinely makes you feel like dancing from the moment it drops. Heard it for the first time at The Big Chill when the sun came out after a grey morning and thousands of people went crazy - happy crazy".

Stefan Struever, Stereo Deluxe: Deichkind - Remmi Femmi
"German band / tune and therefore only released over here but thought it would be nice to see at least one German track voted - and amazing tune nevertheless".

Caroline Bannock: Misty's Big Adventure - Fashion Parade
"Well you told me about them and you weren't wrong. Fantastic bit of modern satirical art, that has more zeigeist than any song this year. Bloody catchy too. They are also fantastic live".

Julian Marszalek, Music Brigade: Isobel Campbell and Mark Lanegan - Honey Child What Can I Do?
"Delightfully simple yet fiendishly effective love song that marks this pair down as a Lee'n'Nancy for the 21st Century".

Mat Morrisroe, Entertainment Media Research: Amy Winehouse - Back To Black
"Wonderful production, a great mixture of retro and contemporary, sonically amazing, all these factors go toward making this my favourite song of the year. However, primarily it's that I believe every note she sings, a wonderful vocal performance of, what I think, is a great song.

Hey, look at that, we let an Amy Winehouse vote through, even though her people buggered up our guest list spots last weekend leaving us stranded in the middle of Cambridge. We're so nice. Anyway, do you agree with any of them? Or do you want to vote for something completely different? This is your chance to vote for your very favourite song of 2006. You can vote for any song that first surfaced this year - including single releases, b-sides, remixes, album tracks and bootleg mixes. To vote, just email the name of the track, the artist and (if you can be bothered) a two sentence reason why it's your favourite. Email it in to 2006@cmumusicnetwork.co.uk right about now (well, before 8 Dec).

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CLASSIFIEDS>>

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CMU RECOMMENDS>>

INSOMNIACS BALL - IT'S NEXT WEEKEND, OK?
The second Insomniacs Ball is this coming weekend - 25 Nov. And just look at the line up - The Young Knives, Art Brut, The Rumble Strips Pink Grease, Friendly Fires, Blood Red Shoes, The Sunshine Underground, Digitalism, Foals, Goose and Lo Fi Fink. They'll all be taking to one of the stages underneath London Bridge station in the seOne complex. Between the bands, on the decks you'll find Silverlink, Matthew WoWoW, Jagz Kooner, The Cooper Temple Clause, Gavin Nugent, Eddy Temple-Morris, The Freelance Hellraiser and Jeff Automatic. Plus the Fish Seeks Bicycle people will be hosting a brilliant chill out area. It all takes place on 25 Nov from 7.30pm all the way through to 6am the next day. This is going to be the big pre-Christmas event, so if you want to go you really ought to be booking your tickets now. You'll find info at http://www.insomniacsball.co.uk and you can buy your tickets at http://www.ticketweb.co.uk. Press info from Scruffy Bird.

BREAKING GROUND
Another storming night for your diaries - the second edition of breaks fest Breaking Ground. All the big names are going to be on the bill - Pendulum (Live), Stanton Warriors, Rennie Pilgrem with MC Chickaboo, Splitloop (Live), Precision Cuts, Janette Slack, Breakfastaz, Deekline & Wizard with MC Ivory, Cltr-Z, Freshold, Si Begg, General Midi, Soto, Merka, Symmetrik, Dirtpop, Mr Sushi and Fyoog. Phew. It will all take place at London's seOne Club on Saturday 2 Dec, from 9.30pm to 6am. Tickets are £18.50 in advance - from http://www.ticketweb.co.uk - press info from Leyline.
Full info>> http://www.leylinepromotions.com/breakingground

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MYSPACE OF THE DAY: REAL ONES
The reason I mention these guys is because according to the MySpace they are playing at Proud Galleries this week, and if you want to see them, it might be your last chance for a while because their next gig appears to be in Snohulen (Norway, presumably, as that's where they're from) on 10 Jan next year. Anyway, I like this band. They make very clean, folky, psychedelic noises, and they have a busy and interesting MySpace page coloured a rather delicate and beautiful shade of green. What's more, in their pics section, there's an image of them standing before a bank of snowy terrain. Which is, frankly, how all Scandinavian bands should be pictured, to avoid confusion, if the profusion of O-slashes aren't clue enough. Anyway, you have a listen. I'm off to Brighton.

http://www.myspace.com/realonesmusic

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GROUPER.COM DENY UNIVERSAL'S COPYRIGHT VIOLATION ALLEGATIONS
Grouper.com, the YouTube style video sharing website that, as of last August, is owned by Sony Corp's Sony Pictures, has rejected allegations by the Universal Music Group that it is guilty of copyright infringement.

As previously reported, Universal last month launched legal action against Grouper.com, and another video sharing service called Bolt.com, claiming that both services allow and encourage fans to swap pirated music videos and should therefore be held liable for the violation of Universal's copyrights.

The legal action followed tough talking regarding social networking and content sharing websites by Universal chief Doug Morris - tough talking which was originally also targeted at YouTube, except the leading video sharing site managed to avoid litigation by reaching a licencing agreement with the major label, a deal which reportedly included Universal getting a small stake in YouTube.

And that YouTube agreement is cited in legal papers submitted by Grouper.com to the LA courts this week, refuting Universal's allegations. Whilst arguing that their service is fully compliant with the US's Digital Millennium Copyright Act, and that they remove any copyright material from their service if and when they are made aware of it, the Sony owned firm also accuses Universal of taking legal action against smaller players in the video sharing domain so to strengthen the hand of YouTube - Universal now having a vested interest in the Grouper.com's bigger rival. If you follow.

Universal are yet to respond to Grouper.com's submission.

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GREEN DAY JOIN OIL CAMPAIGN
Green Day have joined a campaign to stop America's 'addiction' to oil, working in conjunction with the Natural Resources Defense Council's 'Move America Beyond Oil' campaign. The band, who have set up a website focusing on the issue which enables concerned fans to directly contact influential lawmakers and industry leaders to request change, say: "Our message is that it's OK, and very rebellious, to take on that responsibility."

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STARS LINE UP FOR CHARITY ALBUM
A tracklisting has been confirmed for that previously reported charity album aimed at raising breast cancer awareness. Profits from the long player will also benefit the cause, with ninety percent of monies raised going to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. The album, limited to 10,000 copies, is available from http://www.urbanoutfitters.com. The tracklisting is as follows:

Feist - Inside and Out (The Audience Honey remix)
Thom Yorke - Harrowdown Hill
The Rapture - Get Myself Into It (Prince Language Disco mix)
Cat Power - Hurt (live on KCRW's Morning Becomes Eclectic)
Wolfmother - Dimension (live at Big Day Out)
Franz Ferdinand - Eleanor Put Your Boots On (single version)
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Cheated Hearts (Peaches remix)
Kaiser Chiefs - Sink That Ship
The Walkmen - Another One Goes By (live)
Chris Walla - Radio
Junior Boys - So Sleep
Snowden - Anti Anti (Jordan Stutter Remix)
Favourite Sons - Things That We Do To Each Other (live on Indie 103.1's Dead Air)
Dustin O'Halloran - Opus 23

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COCKER CONFIRMS FIRST SOLO SINGLE
Jarvis Cocker is to release the first single from his debut solo in the New Year. 'Don't Let Him Waste Your Time' will be out on 8 Jan. As previously reported, the Pulp singer's first solo track, 'Running The World', was made available on the internet earlier in the year.

'Don't Let Him Waste Your Time' will be released on CD and on two different 7" singles. The CD will be backed by a song called 'The Mouse, The Bird And The Sausage' and a video for the title track. The B-sides on the 7"s will be either 'Big Stuff' or 'One Man Show'.

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TIMBALAND SOLO ALBUM
Timbaland is to release a solo album, featuring a plethora of guest artists. The renowned producer is calling the long player, provisionally named 'Timbaland Presents Shock Value', a "compilation". The record, out in March, will feature contributions from hip hoppers Dre, Jay-Z and 50 Cent, but also some less urban themed stuff. In his own words: "The other stuff is rock: She Wants Revenge, the Hives, I'm about to get the Fall Out Boys, Bjork, Elton John."

The first single from the album will be a track called 'Give It To Me' which features Justin Timberlake and Nelly Furtado.

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THOM YORKE'S FAVOURITE SONG
Radiohead frontman Thom Yorke has told Spin magazine that his favourite song is 'Unravel' by Bjork, and that he hopes his band will record a cover of the track. Which is worrying.

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ANTONY & THE JOHNSONS GET SHAKESPEARIAN
Antony & The Johnsons are to contribute to a play inspired by Shakespeare's sonnets to be staged in the UK next year. Music acts involved in the show have been asked to compose music to accompany the poetry, which will be played by an eight piece chamber orchestra from Opera North. Taking place for two nights at Stratford in February, it's all part of the RSC's Complete Works festival. A subsequent tour taking in Nottingham, Manchester, Gateshead and Leeds is planned for March.

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JAMIE T ALBUM DETAILS
Jamie T's debut album, 'Panic Prevention' will be out on 29 Jan, preceded by the release of the singer's next single, 'Calm Down Dearest', on 15 Jan. The tracklisting for the album is as follows:

Brand New Bass Guitar
Salvador
Calm Down Dearest
So Lonely Was The Ballad
Back In The Game
Operation
Sheila
Pacemaker
Dry Off Your Cheeks
Ike And Tina
If You Got The Money
Alicia Quays

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COXON MUSES ON BLUR REUNION
Well. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe Graham Coxon can be persuaded to rejoin Blur for another album, despite relatively recent protestations that he never, ever would. As you'll remember, Alex James recently said he thought he could get Coxon to return to the fold, and now Coxon seems to be implying that he hasn't completely ruled it out.

The musician told Pitchfork: "I haven't been approached about it. I think about it: would it be fun? Would it be a bit too scary? What would the dynamic be in a studio? Would I have to do promotion? Would I tour? You know, it's a lot of thinking. So I guess I still mull around and think about it every now and then."

Coxon also protested that his former bandmates are still friends, saying: "Alex will always be my friend. I guess they all will be in some way, but it's somewhat strange."

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GWEN IN NO DOUBT IN FUTURE
God, I'm funny. The headline. You get it, right? Anyway, Gwen Stefani says that she is more interested in getting back with No Doubt than in releasing a third solo album. The singer's second solo album is out 4 Dec, of course.

Stefani told MTV: "I don't think I will make another solo album. I can't predict anything, but I don't plan on making one of these solo dance project records, I definitely feel myself going back to No Doubt after this to do a new album."

She added, however, that there is, actually, a possibility of more solo material emerging: "I don't really know what will happen with those other songs, there's probably about ten left over. I could make an album with them really fast! So we'll see what happens, I mean you can always use them for something at some point or I could just listen to them myself and be greedy."

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JERSEYLIVE 2007 ANNOUNCED
The people behind Channel Island festival Jerseylive have announced that their 2007 event will take place on 1 and 2 Sep next year. Organisers have also confirmed they are planning a brand new event set to take place in Guernsey on 14 and 15 Jul. The first acts for both of those events are expected to be announced shortly.

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ALBUM REVIEW: Acoustic Ladyland - Skinny Grin (V2)
Part of the London-based, multi-genre spanning 'F-ire' collective - a merry brigade of annoyingly talented artists - Acoustic Ladyland are the best and worst hope for bringing Jazz back into the mainstream (and no, Jamie Cullum doesn't count). Their move to a larger label for their second outing 'Skinny Grin' might suggest they are aiming for mass sales and a departure from the raw, experimental, post-something jazz of 'Last Chance Disco' towards the nicely-does-it, easy-listening Parky tat that torments the airwaves of Radio 2 daily. Thankfully, they've done nothing of the sort, retaining their punk ethic and irrepressible energy to provide a raucous ride with some of the most gifted musicians around. Led by saxophonist Pete Wareham aided by bassist Tom Herbert, drummer extraordinaire, Seb Rochford - all also part of Mercury Music Prize nominees Polar Bear - and Tom Cawley on keys, they've created an album that will destroy any preconceptions of jazz to the uninitiated. Opener 'Road Of Bones' is as likely to have you head-banging as foot-tapping, while the torturing bass of 'New Me' incites ragged confusion when placed next to the keyboard work of new-age Japanese pop. 'Paris' starts similarly before adding the vocals of Alice Grant to a frenetic blast of sax, keys and mind-blowing drum work. Scott Walker also guests, remixing new single 'Saltwater' to great effect in a kind of Devo does Mogwai does Pere Ubu does Coltrane way. And what, you might ask, is the result of all this madness? Genre-defying, unpredictable and ultimately brilliant jazz, that's what. For punks who don't like jazz and jazz fans that don't like punk, 'Skinny Grin' is the album that harmonises both without losing their spirit in the process. OS
Release date: 20 Nov
Press contact: V2 IH [all]

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VIRGIN MOBILE LAUNCH MOBILE TICKETING PROMOTION
Those Virgin Mobile types have announced a new live music promotion staged in association with mobile ticketing company ActiveMedia Technology and mobile direct marketing firm Flytxt and involving that The Automatic crowd.

Customers of the mobile network, should they wish to, have the chance to win one of 300 tickets to a sell out The Automatic gig taking place at the Carling Academy Islington in London this weekend. Customers text a special number, and the first 300 to do so will receive a mobile ticket direct to their phone, which they can use to get into the venue, who will be utilising ActiveMedia's mobile ticketing technology.

The latest promotion follows the launch of Virgin Mobile's Q Jump marketing campaign, another joint venture with ActiveMedia and Flytxt which enables the mobile firm's customers to jump to the front of the queue using mobile ticketing technology.

Commenting on the latest venture, Virgin Mobile's Sponsorship & Events Manager, Rosie Newey, told reporters: "The youth market loves mobile ticketing. It is convenient, hassle free and novel and makes a great way to recognise and reward loyalty. The Flytxt SMS solution, working together with ActiveMedia's RAPOS technology holds the same appeal for us as it does for our customers. Its ease of use, convenience and reliability and no upfront investment enables us to continue to offer our customers access to live music safe in the knowledge that the technology is in place to support us".

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NU-SONG SIGN ROBBIE COLLABORATOR
Independent music publisher Nu-song, through their joint venture with Notting Hill Music, have signed a long term publishing deal with songwriter come producer come musician Jerry Meehan, the bass player in Robbie Williams' band and, more importantly for the publishing firm, the co-writer on four songs on Robbie's recent album 'Rudebox'. Meehan also owns a production company - Wendyhouse Productions - through which he produces for and writes with a wide range of artists including Stevie Wonder, Beth Orton, Talvin Singh, Omar, Midge Ure, Boyzone and, in the classical domain, the likes of Leonard Bernstein, Pierre Boulez and Jesse Norman.

Announcing the new deal, Nu-Song MD John Maclennan told CMU: "This a very big signing for Nu-Song and for our joint venture with Notting Hill Music. Jerry is a fantastic addition to our already impressive roster and this deal demonstrates our desire to work with the very best writers and producers. Jerry is incredibly versatile with number of amazing projects lined up over the next 12 months and we are really looking forward to working with him".

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PRS APPOINT NEW DEPUTY CHAIR
The Performing Rights Society - PRS to their close friends - has announced the appointment of Andrew King to the role of Deputy Chairman. King, General Manager of Mute Song, will take up the role on 1 Jan 2007, taking over from Nigel Elderton, who has completed his maximum allowable term in the job. King, who has worked in artist management and music publishing for the best part of forty years, has been GM at Mute Song since 1992.

Confirming the appointment, PRS Chairman Ellis Rich told reporters: "I am really delighted at Andrew's appointment, and have no doubt that he will give PRS the benefit of his extensive experience and knowledge of the music industry. Knowing Andrew as I do, I am quite sure that he will never ever be 'mute' during his tenure and I look forward to working with him".

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ITALIAN INDUSTRY GROUPS BACK INTERNET CAFÉ ANTI-PIRACY RAIDS
Seven people of Chinese nationality were arrested during an anti-piracy raid of Italian internet cafes yesterday. The cafes were allegedly used to reproduce, store and distribute millions of copyrighted content files which were made available to web users via an illegitimate subscription file sharing service. Users of the illegal service had access to huge amounts of music, films and business software in return for a nominal subscription fee.

The raids were conducted by the Fiscal Police of Prato, a town near Florence, in association with trade bodies representing the music, film and software industries, including the Italian music industry's anti-piracy body FBM, and saw officials seizing 462 computers from 8 internet cafes.

The owners of the cafes were arrested on the order of the Public Prosecutor of Prato while a further 23 people were reportedly indicted for the violation of several administrative laws and for illegal immigration.

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DYLAN RADIO SHOW TO AIR ON 6MUSIC
Bob Dylan's previously reported weekly US radio show has been picked up by the BBC to be broadcast by digital station 6Music. The Theme Time Radio Hour will go out on Fridays at 9pm from 12 Jan. The show will be marketed via a series of previews during Christmas week, with Radio 2 airing six recent editions of the programme.

Dylan began the show, which is hosted by XM Satellite Radio, back in May. The musician plays an eclectic mix of music as well as broadcasting interviews and discussions. Dylan says of his venture: "A lot of my own songs have been played on the radio, but this is the first time I've ever been on the other side of the mic".

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NAPSTER SPONSOR FILM4
The UK division of Napster has confirmed it will sponsor the early evening strand every night for a year on Channel 4's arthouse film channel Film4. The sponsorship will be used to promote Napster's monthly subscription package, and is part of a new campaign to promote the subscription download service in the UK, a campaign which will also include advertising on major web portals such as MSN and Virgin.net as well as advertorial in various lifestyle publications.

Commenting on the sponsorship of the film channel, Napster VP and UK General Manager Leanne Sharman told reporters: "As a brand, Film4 is highly regarded and similar to Napster in many ways. It's alternative, cool and desirable, and we anticipate this sponsorship will go some way to bringing our messaging direct to a core target market."

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C4 BOSS HAS CONCERNS OVER SKY'S ITV SHARES PURCHASE
Talking of Channel 4, the boss of the commercial broadcaster, Andy Duncan, has aired his concerns over BSkyB's previously reported purchase of a 17.9% stake in ITV at the end of last week. Speaking at a Broadcasting Press Guild lunch Duncan said that recent changes in media ownership in the UK, coupled with the estimated £10 million that the recent ban on junk food advertising during kids programming will cost his company, had left his network feeling "pretty small and pretty vulnerable".

On the Sky/ITV deal he said: "It would be helpful to know Ofcom and the Government were looking at it properly. It is important that they [ITV and Sky] are effectively standalone businesses. We've clearly got mixed feelings about it. It was a bold move by Sky that seems to have scuppered the NTL deal. But we are concerned how it will work operationally. News is quite an interesting area. ITV is looking to renegotiate its contract with ITN. Sky has Sky News. What does it mean in terms of the plurality of news in this country? Also, what is ITV's corporate line now on Freesat? Putting the BBC to one side, putting ITV and Sky together, it's a big chunk of the British TV and media... It could mean undue and unfair cooperation".

As previously reported, Richard Branson, as a stakeholder in NTL, whose merger proposal was turned down by ITV this week, has asked the Office Of Fair Trading to investigate Sky's purchase of ITV shares.

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SO, HOW DO YOU DEFINE INDEPENDENT AGAIN?
People often ask why we don't have comment boxes that let readers respond to stories on the web version of the Daily, and I always point out that when you offer that kind of service most people just use it to slag you off (or to mock you for describing punk legends The Stooges as "pink legends", yeah we spotted it too, two minutes too late).

Of course, the CMU Daily readership is probably far too lovely to do such things, but you do sometimes need a thick skin the minute you add reader feedback functionality to your website. The NME have just added it to NME.com, and here's how their readers responded to news about those previously reported 'Independent Thinking' covermount CDs showcasing artists off three UK independent labels, the first 1965 records run, of course, by former Rough Trade A&R James Endeacott ("the man who discovered The Stokes and The Libertines" in the NME's words) and featuring 1965 signings The View.

"Did he fuck find the Strokes" says one reader, "yet more tedious guitar bands, how dull - independent thinking is really quite an irony-laden title, all things considered" says another, and "The View are the musical equivalent of dishwater but oh look they wear Babyshambles t shirts in the videos! Bollocks" adds a third, though he does have the courtesy to add: "nice CD though!" And, it should be noted, there is some other positive stuff posted too, and kudos to the NME for giving their critics airtime.

Of course the online critics might actually be owners of some of the UK's other independent labels, several of whom got in touch with CMU yesterday to say that, while they welcome the NME profiling independent music, it's a shame all three of the indies being championed through the Independent Thinking series actually have major label funding of one kind or another and, depending on your definition of 'independent label', could be said to actually be major label imprints of a kind.

To be honest, I'm a bit hazy on the exact relationships between 1965, Modular and Transgressive and Universal and Warner Music - but none of the three are members of the Association Of Independent Music which may (or may not) be because they don't meet AIM's definition of an indie label, which is that at least 50% of the ownership must not be in hands of a major record company.

That's not to diss any of the participating labels, nor the concept of major/indie alliances, nor the NME CDs (after all, we're CMU, we never diss anyone...), though it's easy to see why those wholly independent record labels get a little pissed off when they have to start competing with artists with major label marketing support even in platforms designed to champion "independent music".

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GIRLS KICK COOLNESS ASS, OFFICIAL
More NME, and at last, it's official. Girls are cool. Some of them are even cooler than Pete Doherty, Alex Turner, Carl Barat and Brandon Flowers. Well, that's what the indie-kid readership of music weekly think anyway.

NME has published its annual 'Cool List' this week, and last year's coolest of the cool, Alex Turner, has been knocked down to 32. Pete Doherty, who used to do quite well in it, is now at 28. But the most important development is the aforementioned presence of the girlie factor. Usually there aren't so many, this year they make up half the list. What's more, a girl came top. A girl that, admittedly, I am not that aware of, but a girl nonetheless - Beth Ditto, from The Gossip.

Editor Conor McNicholas says "This year's Cool List is a testament to the raft of hugely talented women who have taken hold of the music scene in 2006".

For some reason, these so called indie-kids still think mouthy, uncool Dad-rocker Liam Gallagher is relatively cool (he's at 12), plus uber-geek Thom York is at 9, but overall, I'd say their judgement is improving.

There's a list of fifty. But I'm just going to give you the top ten:

1: Beth Ditto (The Gossip)
2: Faris Rotter (The Horrors)
3: Lily Allen
4: Jarvis Cocker
5: Karen O (Yeah Yeah Yeahs)
6: Kieren Webster (The View)
7: Kate Jackson (The Long Blondes)
8: Gerard Way (My Chemical Romance)
9: Thom Yorke (Radiohead)
10: Lovefoxxx (CSS)

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MILLS MCCARTNEY: DIVORCE WORSE THAN LIMB LOSS
More quotes have emerged from that previously reported interview Heather Mills has given to US entertainment TV show Extra. During the interview, broadcast over several nights, Mills claimed that she would rather lose more limbs than go through a marriage breakdown again.

The former model, who lost a leg in a motorbike accident back in 1993, said: "I would rather someone come up and chop off all my limbs than go through what I went through. It's a fact, because if your limbs are chopped off you ... get another limb and there's light at the end of the tunnel. When you're vilified for doing nothing but falling in love with an icon... I'd rather have all of my limbs cut off that's the God's honest truth."

She added that she would never marry again, given her recent experiences: "I'm not saying that I wouldn't fall madly in love or have a soul mate or anything like that, but I would never go through this again. It's too devastating. I mean most people know divorce is devastating anyway, but to go through it so publicly even when you haven't said a word or done anything."

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ORDINARY BOYS ACCUSED OF BEING TIGHT
The Ordinary Boys have been accused of cancelling a recent scheduled appearance at a charity gig because they did not want to appear without being paid. The band were due to play at that previously reported Fabric night in aid of Aduna, alongside Damon Albarn, Mylo and Fatboy Slim. Aduna's director claims that they withdrew because they weren't getting any money out of it. Sarah Hardcastle is quoted as saying: "I'd sorted everything, even their hotel, then they demanded money when all the others performed for free."

A spokesperson for the band's frontman Preston denied the claim, saying of his client: "We asked for costs but then he genuinely fell ill."

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THERE ARE NO PORTALOOS AT MUSIC FESTIVALS, OKAY?
One more thing. Can we get this clear, OK? You have not made use, and never will make use of a portaloo at a music festival and anyone who suggests they might is just wrong. We know this because Virtual Festivals has had to change the name of its toilet category in its annual Festival awards after Portakabin Ltd complained that the slightly tongue in cheek titled 'The Portaloo Sunset Award For Best Toilets' contravened their trade mark.

A VF insider explains: "Virtual Festivals has landed itself in the poo with Portakabin Ltd - owners of registered trade mark Portaloo - for naming a category of the UK Festival Awards 'The Portaloo Sunset Award For Best Toilets'. Portakabin have formally requested that their trade marked name be removed retrospectively from the category. Virtual Festivals have obliged and apologised on behalf of themselves - and every one of their users that has ever referred to festival toilets as 'Portaloos' because - get this - Portaloo do not make plastic toilets or any that are used by the public at festivals! It's all a big stinking myth. Virtual Festivals have, as a gesture of good faith, offered Portaloo first refusal on sponsorship of their 'Best Toilets' (as it is now known) Award for next year".

So, that's that all sorted. Good.

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