CMU Daily - on the inside Friday 14th March
yesterday's Daily - Daily archive

In today's CMU Daily:
- AOL buy Bebo
- EMI favourite to get Chrysalis
- The Game is free after all
- No major development in investigation into shooting of TI associate
- Jacko secures Neverland
- China say controls won't be tightened after all, post Bjork incident
- Kate Nash singles thingy
- Madonna counts down to album release
- Pepe Deluxe win album award
- Portishead on new album
- Muse may do regular singles instead of albums
- And You Will Know Us by our new label deal
- Neon Neon stuff
- Thom Yorke: The Sun talks bollocks
- MGMT pack out SxSW gig
- Silver Jews tour
- Acts confirmed for Beach Break Live
- Bull & Gate for sale
- HMV revamps and expansion
- New EMI structure in place
- BPI up for villain of the year at internet awards
- Gloomy future for video on demand websites?
- iPlayer fixed to stop DRM-free downloads
- Wilde to do Virgin show
- Kanye West secretly wed?
- Winehouse senior: Amy's troubles might be my fault
- Bryan Adams never meant to sing
- Sperm for tickets gets big response


So, the countdown is now on for the next edition of the very CMU Recommended Remix All-Nighter, which takes place on Easter Thursday, 20 Mar, at the seOne Club in London Bridge.

The night, curated by Remix chief Eddy TM, is set to be a global battle of the beats, with Ninja Tune, Ed Banger, Citizen and Long Range Records all squaring up for the fight. Though a fight on the decks, we should add. The Ninja Tune contingent will be led by the label's co-founder and Coldcut man Jon More, Ed Banger's head honcho Busy P will be fighting his corner, Vitalic will be representing his label Citizen, while former Orbital man Phil Hartnoll will be leading the Long Range attack with a five hour DJ set.

CMU, as you know, is a world renowned peacekeeper, which is why we have been appointed to host the VIP area. The hidden back rooms of the cavernous seOne complex will play host to some serious diplomatic negotiations, to ensure the battle of the beats doesn't result in world war three.

Leading the peace talks will be the CMU:DJs, the house DJs for our very own new live night - the CMU Social - which itself launches next month. This will be the first chance to check out the people who rant about music here in the Daily spinning the tunes - you read this stuff, you know we like a pretty mad mix of music, and that's what you can expect in the CMU Social VIP Room at the All-Nighter.

CMU Co-editor Chris Cooke will also be there interrogating all those playing the All-Nighter for a special edition of the CMU-Tube, which you will be able to access on the CMU Music Network website next month. World War Three permitting.

Full details about the line up for the All-Nighter is in the CMU Recommended slot below - including details about how students can get in for just seven quid by using a special CMU code. But the main thing you need to do is go to this URL to buy your tickets - a small number of VIP tickets, giving you access to our special zone, are still available for £12.



Cherry Red Records - a West London based independent record label - have a vacancy for a role which includes running the publishing division, helping with business affairs, and putting together new catalogue release projects. Previous publishing experience is essential as is a good knowledge of the 80s, 90s, and contemporary music scene. Candidates should also have a good initiative and be able to come up with projects ideas. Please send CV and covering letter to [email protected]


!K7 Label Group is an international music company based in Berlin comprising 5 record labels, publishing company, booking agency and fledgling events business.

!K7 is looking for a UK Label Manager to oversee all aspects of the record label and events business within the UK. The successful candidate will have experience running imaginative press, radio and marketing campaigns for releases across a variety of musical genres and a sound knowledge of the UK digital and physical marketplace. They will also have the contacts and expertise to set up a number of profit-making !K7 events. Based in the english-speaking Berlin office with frequent travel to London. Salary negotiable.

Please send all applications in writing to Nicola Agunwa by no later than March 31st: [email protected] or Nicola Agunwa, !K7 Records GmbH, Heidestrasse 52, 10557 Berlin, Germany



Antoine from Poney Poney on how he got into making music: "Playing "Apache" by The Shadows to impress my Swedish penfriend. It didn't work but my father only taught me that song".

Antoine answers CMU's Same Six Questions online this week -



The next CMU recommended Remix All-Nighter takes over the seOne Club at London Bridge next month for a brilliant pre-Easter party.

There'll be three rooms of fun. In the Remix room you'll get live sets from The Whip and Vitalic, plus Remix chief Eddy TM on the decks and VJ Fay Buzzard doing visual stuff. Next up will be a room hosted by Orbital co-founder and general dance music pioneer Phil Hartnoll, named for and showcasing his new venture Long Range. And then, to top off all that, there will be a whole room of all things Ninja Tune, featuring no less than DJ Food & DK, Coldcut (Jon Moore DJ Set), Bonobo, Daedelus, The Qemists and VJ Mox. Oh, and they've just added Busy P (Ed Banger) to the bill too. This night is going to be storming.

It all takes place on 20 Mar. Full info from:

CMU and Remix All-nighter promoters have teamed up to offer students a special price for the night of just £7. To get the discount you need a special code for when you order your tickets, and you can get the code by emailing your name and university name to [email protected] But do it quick - there are a limited number of discounted tickets available.


Those pesky AOL chaps have only gone and taken over Bebo. Oh yes, all we need now is for Microsoft to win complete ownership of Facebook, and planet social network will be in the hands of Rupert Murdoch (MySpace), Bill Gates (Facebook), CBS ( and the Time Warner organisation (AOL's owners, so Bebo). Radical.

Yes, AOL yesterday confirmed it had bought the social network site for cool kids, Bebo, for a very cool $850 million. The deal gives the US internet firm a big stake in the social networking world, with Bebo claiming to have 40 million users worldwide, and market leader status in the UK, Ireland and New Zealand.

Billboard quote AOL President Ron Grant explaining the big deal thus: "AOL, at its core, is a way for people to connect. We need to get back to our roots".

The deal has reportedly been in negotiation for the best part of six months, and will make its founders Michael and Xochi Birch very rich indeed. The social networking company's President Joanna Shields will continue to run the firm, reporting to Grant, while the founders are also expected to continue to have a role.

AOL will slip Bebo into what it calls its 'personal communications offerings', which also include the AOL Instant Messenger system and one of the internet's earliest live chat systems ICQ. Bebo's 40 million users should prove useful to AOL's advertising division which is increasingly important in a company that was once based on a subscription business model, but which is increasingly adopting the free-to-access ad-funded content model.

It's not clear whether Bebo's music section will in any way be integrated with AOL's existing music propositions.


More from the merger and acquisitions file, and the Times is reporting that EMI is now favourite to gain ownership of Chrysalis.

As previously reported, Chrysalis, having sold off its radio business to Global Radio, recently accepted bids for its music assets, of which its music publishing catalogue is most valuable. Both EMI and Warner are known to have bid, keen to merge the Chrysalis catalogue into their own publishing divisions. Some private equity types are also thought to be bidding. At first the company's founder and principle shareholder, Chris Wright, indicated that he would only sell if the right deal came along and didn't seem to be in any rush to sell - though more recently insiders have suggested he is now keen to get a move on with any deal in a bid to avoid changes in capital gains taxes that come in force in April and which would reduce his personal profit from any sale.

EMI's chances of getting Chrysalis seem to have increased because, according to The Times, Warner's bid has been "sidelined". Quite what that means I'm not sure - though perhaps it means Warner's takeover proposal has been dropped from Chrysalis' shortlist which would mean that EMI would be the only bid from an existing music company still on the table (SonyATV, the other music publisher expected to bid for Chrysalis, didn't in the end). Either way, insiders are calling EMI a "strong contender" in relation to the Chrysalis sale.

Of course if EMI are successful with their bid it will bring Chrysalis publishing back into the same ownership as the Chrysalis record label, that was acquired by the major way back in 1991 (not that EMI really use the Chrysalis Records name all that much any more).


So, it seems that hip hopper The Game is, in fact, a free man. As you'll remember, there was much confusion earlier in the week as to whether the rapper had, in fact, been freed after just eight days of the sixty day sentence he had been given in relation to that incident last year when he threatened a man after a basketball game. The Game's lawyer confirmed reports that the rapper had been freed, but then a statement from his management said the reports were false and he had just been moved from one jail to another.

Well, the rapper himself has now told that he is, in fact, a free man, and has been in the studio since his release at the start of the week. On the confusion around his release he told the hip hop website: "I apologise ... but due to the sensitive negotiations on this matter I felt it appropriate not to give an exact date on my release. I am truly grateful to my attorney, family and management for doing a great job in this respect".

Given the confusion regarding the release I'm not sure attorney and management did that great a job in that respect, though getting a sixty day jail sentence reduced to eight days, that, I must admit, is pretty good going.


Talking of media confusion regarding hip hop crime cases, the Cincinnati Police Department has denied media reports that a significant breakthrough has been made regarding the killing of Philant Johnson, the friend and assistant of rapper TI, who was shot dead as TI and his entourage sped away after a confrontation outside Cincinnati's Club Ritz back in May 2006.

Responding to reports in the local media of some kind of key breakthrough in their investigation, Cincinnati Police Public Information Commander Lt Mark Briede told "There have been no arrests in this case and there are no warrants pending. We've heard that Atlanta radio is reporting it and we've gotten several calls about this. But we know nothing about it".

Asked about the ongoing investigations, the police force's Media Liason chief Fran Cihon said because the case was live they could not comment. Cihon: "Our investigators don't discuss their investigations unless there is a major development or an arrest. Once a homicide takes place, we do a media release announcing the crime and its investigation. But we don't do updates on a case, with the exception of situations where information is uncovered that the public could use to help us resolve the case. In those situations, we release that information to the press in hopes of driving up Crimestoppers tips".


Neverland is safe. For the time being. Wendy will be relieved. Michael Jackson has reportedly successfully 'refinanced', meaning that he will be able to pay off the $25 million in debts that were secured on his iconic Californian property, which has sat more or less empty ever since Jacko was acquitted of those child abuse charges back in 2005. Had the debts not been paid off by next week the ranch faced being sold off.

A family friend of the Jacksons, Matt Fiddes, told reporters that the refinancing had always been assured and the chances of Neverland being sold had been greatly exaggerated by the media, which is probably true, we do like to exaggerate here in the media. At CMU we've been known to exaggerate 73 million times a day. Fiddes told the BBC: "I know for a fact that he wasn't going to lose it. It's not a problem - Michael's keeping Neverland. I've spoken to his brother, Tito, about it and it's not like it is in the papers. It's quite normal for anyone who's a success to have a mortgage on their property because they can get better rates for their money".

Elsewhere in Jackson property news, and the aforementioned Tito is reportedly buying a property in Devon, and the rest of the Jackson clan, Michael included, are expected to use it as a place where they can get away from the media glare - media glaring having not been invented in Devon yet. Tito has reportedly decided to concentrate primarily on UK based projects, and is dead set on having a home in the county.

He is quoted thus: "We hope it [the new home] will be a family hideaway where my brothers and sisters can escape media attention when we need to. I can confirm that he [Michael] has been to Barnstaple on private visits in recent years along with my brother Jermaine and a few other Jackson siblings. My family love North Devon and the wonderful countryside and friendly people. I am looking forward to living in Barnstaple and I hope the Barnstaple public will respect our family's privacy".


China's culture ministry has said that they won't impose tighter controls on Western artists, despite the fact that they said they would following Bjork's previously reported "Tibet, Tibet" outburst in the country recently. As you'll remember, the singer shouted those words following a performance of her song 'Declare Independence' at a gig in Shanghai, and a Chinese official responded by saying that she "broke Chinese law and hurt Chinese people's feelings" and said that the ministry would "further tighten controls" on Western artists performing in the country.

Now, however, Vice-minister Of Culture Zhou Heping has said that he does not think that the incident will stop China from inviting western artists to perform, especially in the light of the upcoming Olympics. The official told reporters this week: "It was just an individual case. I don't think it will affect our invitation of artists from all over the world to come to China and perform, particularly during the Olympic Games".

Of course, given the fact that expressing an opinion in China can cause such a furore, some western artists might not actually want to play there.


Kate Nash and her friend Laura, who designs her artwork, are to produce ten special individual versions of the artwork for her limited edition single release of 'Merry Happy'. Ten fans who buy the single, out 24 Mar, will get their copy customised by the pair. The ten singles have already been selected according to serial number, and those which have the following numbers are the ones which will get customised: 087,102, 265, 398, 487, 598, 643, 724, 863 & 934.


Madonna's got a clock counting down to the release of her new album 'Hard Candy' on a website,, accompanied by tick tock vocals. I can confirm that it's deeply irritating. From what I understand, the first single will be '4 Minutes' featuring Justin Timberlake, and the album, which features collaborations with the likes of Timbaland, Pharrell Williams and Nate Hills, is out on 28 Apr. Here's the tracklisting:

Candy Store
4 Minutes
Give It 2 Me
Miles Away
She's Not Me
Beat Goes On
Dance Tonight
Spanish Lesson


Finnish electronic outfit have won the Best Album Of The Year Award for their 2007 LP 'Spare Time Machine' at the Emma Awards, Finland's equivalent of the Brits, or Grammys or whatever. The band recently released their 'Forgotten Knights EP' in the UK and have just finished a European tour.


Portishead's Adrian Utley has said that that his band "went into meltdown" trying to produce their third album, 'Third', which, as previously reported, is out on 28 Apr this year, ten years after their second album. The guitarist explains that they were keen to make a departure from the style of their Mercury winning debut 'Dummy', but were exhausted by the release and tour schedule surrounding their second album, 'Portishead' in 1998.

Utley explains: "After 'Dummy' we had to make the second record 'Portishead', and that was a hellish time, it really was. There was pressure internally - there was a sense of 'got to get it done, got to get it done'. We went on to do a huge tour for a year and headlined loads of festivals because The Verve had split up that year. It was insanity really. It was ridiculously full on, considering we wanted to play to 500 people".

Adding that both he and bandmate Geoff Barrow had split from their wives after recording sessions for their third record began, Utley continues: "Those years were quite dark from then on. There were times when I thought - this is not going to happen. There were times there when I thought 'we're not going to be able to do it, or I'm going to die trying'".


Obviously taking our Top Bit about the demise of the album format to heart, Muse have said they might not record another long player, preferring instead to release individual songs or EPs on a semi-regular basis.

Frontman Matthew Bellamy told NME: "I like the idea of releasing a series of songs, every month or every couple of months - just putting songs out there. Almost like making the single a more prominent format and then every few years doing a 'best of' from that period and that would be the album. So in other words, throw out songs every couple of months and see how people like them, and whichever ones people like, stick that on a record of 11 tracks".

However, he admitted that his band is currently midway through a recording contract with Warner, and that they'd have a say in such decisions until their obligations to the major are complete.


...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead, who have been self-producing their new album since parting company with Universal's Interscope last year, have reportedly done a deal with an independent called Superball Records regarding the non-US distribution of the new long player, and are still in talks with US labels regarding a release there. So there you go.


Gruff Rhys/Boom Bip project Neon Neon's new album 'Stainless Style' is out on 17 Mar, of course. You'll know this because you'll have read our glowing review of it. Well, a) you can listen to tracks from it now at, and b) if you visit the MySpace page, there's also a chance to win VIP tickets to their debut UK set, which takes place at Adventures In The Beetroot Field at Fabric on 20 Mar. And the rest of the line-up, as you might expect, is looking pretty good too - Erol Alkan, Four Tet and The Presets are amongst the acts set to appear that night.


Thom Yorke has criticised The Sun for talking rot, following their claims that Radiohead had refused to play Glastonbury this year because of environmental reasons. They had quoted the band as saying that the festival's transport system was inadequate. "Well that's bollocks" says Yorke.

According to reports, Yorke clarifies on the group's site Dead Air Space (can't find the quotes on there myself) that he: "mentioned that we were not playing Glastonbury this year but were doing our own shows in London. Not because of transport issues but because the festival goers at Glastonbury were more than likely sick of the sight of felt a little early to be doing it again, we felt as if we had only just played there. Unfortunately, as is the way with such newspapers my words were taken out of context and implied we were not playing Glastonbury because there was no public transport infrastructure".

The singer says he's since spoken to Glastonbury organiser Michael Eavis about it all. And Dead Air Space includes a link to a lift-sharing area of the Glasto website. And by the way, you've only got until midnight tonight to register for tickets for the fest.


Ah, you see, I declare them to be CMU favourites and now everyone wants a bit of MGMT. Word has it fans were queuing around the block in a bid to see MGMT when they played at South By Southwest last night. The packed out The Rio venue played host to the buzzy duo, who played as a five piece for their SxSW appearance. And everyone's telling us it was a storming set. So, that's lovely.


US indie types Silver Jews have announced a series of tour dates to promote the release of their new album 'Lookout Mountain, Lookout Sea'. Here are the dates. I'm including the European ones, because I'm feeling quite cosmopolitan this morning.

7 May: Brighton, Concorde 2
8 May: Leeds, City Varieties
9 May: Glasgow, ABC
10 May: Belfast, Black Box
11 May: Dundalk, Spirit Store
14 May: Cork, Cyprus Avenue
15 May: Galway, Roisin Dubh
16 May: Dublin, Whelan's
16 - 18 May: Explosions In The Sky Vs ATP
20 May: Hamburg, Fabrik
21 May: Berlin, Columbia Club
22 May: Frankfurt, Brotfabrik
23 May: St. Gallen, Palace Theatre
25 May: Paris, Point Ephemere
27 May: Manchester, The Dancehouse Theatre
28 May: Liverpool, Zanzibar
29 May: London, indig02
29 - 31 May: Barcelona, Primavera Sound Festival


Apparently Beach Break Live is a "boutique festival for students". I don't think I knew it was just for students. Oh, I probably did, it's the sort of thing I would know. And the event's young organisers Celia Norowzian and Ian Forshew have apparently been putting it about on TV a lot (Dragons Den, Beeb docu) so I've probably seen them talking about it.

Anyway, the event's organisers have announced their 2008 line-up and it's looking good. Well, for students, but not the rest of us, because we're not allowed to go. It's only for the kidz. But look what they've got to look forward to: The Enemy, The Cribs, the buzzing Joe Lean And The Jing Jang Jong, CMU faves Does It Offend You Yeah?, Plump DJ's, Scratch Perverts, Stanton Warriors, and more acts yet to be announced.

The award-winning festival ('Best New Festival' at 2007 festival awards) take place in Polzeath, Cornwall from 9 - 12 June, tickets £79. As well as the music, all sorts of mad, crazy, student friendly events will take place, including the Spoof Surf Championships, plus there's a chance for a student band to win a main stage slot at the event. See for more info on everything, press from [email protected] for student media, and from Clare Woodcock for the rest of you.


North London pub venue the Bull & Gate is up for sale because its landlords, Patrick and Margaret Lynskey, have decided to retire, but they say they are hoping to find a buyer "who will continue to build on the traditions of the Bull & Gate as a community mainstay and a must-play musical venue for singers and bands". The pub has played host to all kinds of bands at the start of their careers, including Suede, Blur, Muse and The Libertines.

Music Week quote the Lynskeys thus: "We're proud that the Bull & Gate is now on the musical roadmap. We started here in the early years with Hampstead Theatre putting on some performances and then we had a Saturday night residency with jazz band Morrisey Mullen for many years before we started putting on other bands. It's been a great life - we've served them beer and we've listen to them play. However now it's time for us to step back and let someone else take it on".


HMV will open the third of its 'next generation' stores in High Wycombe on Monday. The retail chain has previously opened revamped stores - which include juice bars, games centres and free internet access - in Dudley and Tunbridge. HMV has also announced plans to open new stores at Heathrow terminal five, in new retail complexes in Liverpool and West London, and a new Fopp store (HMV now owning the Fopp brand) in Bristol.


HitsDailyDouble reports that Guy Hands' new structure for EMI is now in place, and for those that like to know these things, says there are now basically three main divisions - A&R, Music Services and Support Services.

The former is led by former Warner Music chief Roger Ames, who also directly oversees A&R teams in the UK and North America, while JF Cecillon oversees the A&R teams elsewhere in the world.

Music Services is basically all about sales and marketing, with Ronn Were heading up the sales and Mark Hodgkinson the marketing. The company's CFO Chris Rolling will lead the Support Services division.

Industry commentators are saying that the first big test for Hands' new business structure will be the next Coldplay album, and all and any activity that surrounds it. The next long player from Chris Martin et al is the most bankable thing on EMI's release schedule, and Hands really needs the release to be a big success to prove his 'new way' of managing the major works. The good news for Hands is that those who have heard Coldplay's new material are generally saying positive things about it.


UK record label trade body the BPI is up for the Villain Of The Year award at the annual awards bash of the Internet Service Providers Association, which take place in London tonight, because of its "heavy handed approach against consumers rather than engaging in constructive dialogue with the internet industry when dealing with filesharing".

The trade association is up against BT Wholesale, the Inland Revenue, French President Nicolas Sarkozy and Tory leader David Cameron, the latter of whom's nomination also seems to be a dig at the music business, him being shortlisted for "buddying up with the music industry and trying to appeal to a younger audience".

Obviously the record industry have become increasingly vocal in their bid to make the internet service providers take more responsibility for combating illegal file sharing online - something the ISPs are very keen to not do. The UK government has threatened to legislate in order to force the ISPs to do more if a voluntary agreement with the record labels regarding online copyright infringement cannot be reached. Whether making the BPI 'villain of the year' will help the ISPA reach such an agreement before the end of the year - as politicians want - I'm not sure. One would assume not.


US business title the Investors Business Daily has predicted the demise of many of the web video services that have materialised in the last few years, with the exception of YouTube.

The business title says that those video-on-demand services that have done deals with the big content players, like Joost, will struggle to keep going because of the discrepancy between the fees they are paying content owners and the revenues they can generate through subscriptions and ad sales.

Meanwhile others, like Veoh and, which are based on the YouTube user-generated content model and which are most popular because they illegally host the kind of content now blocked by the Google owned YouTube (mainly big TV shows), will face crippling lawsuits from content owners, who will be less keen to do licensing deals with the smaller video sharing websites because they lack the reach and financial backing to be of value to the major record companies, film studios and TV firms.

So, that's nice.


Talking of video-on-demand services, the BBC has altered part of its iPlayer service after it materialised that there was no digital rights management in place meaning it was easy for users to get free unlimited downloads of the Beeb's shows.

The iPlayer is meant to give users online on-demand access to BBC shows for a limited time period. It does the limited time period bit by making shows available via streams which can't be downloaded and which can be shut off at the end of a predetermined time period, or as Windows Media downloads which have Windows DRM in them that stop viewers from watching them after a preset time.

But it materialised this week that when the iPlayer streams were accessed via an iPhone or iPod Touch it was quite easy to download the video that was being streamed, and in a non-DRMed format that could be stored and watched an unlimited number of times. The problem is that in order to feed an iPhone or iPod, a version of the service had to be offered that used the mobile version of Safari, which lacked the DRM used in iPlayer's other streaming and download services.

The Corporation moved to stop the hack as soon as it was revealed, and told reporters yesterday: "We've released a fix to prevent unrestricted downloading of streamed TV programmes on BBC iPlayer. Like other broadcasters, the security of rights-protected content online is an issue we take very seriously. It's an ongoing, constant process and one which we will continue to monitor".


Kim Wilde will present shows on Virgin Radio over the Easter Weekend - she will fill in for Spandau Ballet singer Tony Hadley on his Virgin Radio Party Classics show. Virgin Radio Programme Manager Mark Bingham says this: "Kim is an absolute 80's icon and a sex kitten to boot. She was at the top of the British pop scene touring with legends like Michael Jackson and David Bowie during that crazy decade - she has some amazing stories to tell".


The gossips are saying that Kanye West secretly married his long term girlfriend Alexis Phifer last month in Europe. The couple were seen hanging around in Paris during Fashion Week, lending weight to the idea that they were in Europe, but not particularly to the rumour that they got hitched.


Amy Winehouse's dad Mitch thinks that his daughter's present destructive ways might have something to do with his own bad behaviour - he left the singer's mother back in 1996 following a thirteen year affair with a colleague and thinks the impact on Amy might have been harder than he originally thought.

He says: "Perhaps deep down she felt her parents were splitting up, she could not rely on them to stay together and that it was about time she learned to look after herself. I thought Amy was over it pretty quickly - in fact it felt at the time Amy felt no effect at all. Maybe she could not articulate it in words, but she certainly did it with music. It is easy for me to say it is my fault, and that had I been a better parent this would not have happened. But who knows whether it would or not?"


I like Bryan Adams. And anyone who has a problem with that can see me outside. Anyway, that's irrelevant, this is all about how the singer didn't really intend to be a singer. It just happened when his first (teenage) band didn't have an obvious vocalist and he ended up doing it.

He says: "I wanted to be a guitar player. I wanted to be the guy at the back of the stage, not the front, but I knew there weren't many singers around and I'd kind of worked out how to sing while walking to school. Aged 14, with my mates from school, we were fooling around, making a recording. We asked each other who was going to sing. I said, 'Umm, okay, I'll sing,' and I did".


Can you believe this? I'm finding it hard.

An Irish scheme to gather sperm donations in return for tickets to any European music festival has received so many applications that it's had stop accepting them for the moment.

A statement on the scheme's website says: "The purpose of this website was to test market interest through a pilot scheme. Applications for donation packs have far exceed the expectations. Our clients are calling a halt to the invitation to apply for packs and will review the results of the scheme to decide on how to proceed. If the clinic decide to proceed with the mail system after examining the results of the pilot scheme, all people who applied for donation packs will be contacted".

I can't quite work out who is behind all of it. But who would have thought you'd have to bribe people with festival tickets? If I were a man, I'd do it for a tenner...

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