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TODAY'S NEWS

CMU Social pop quiz controversy!

DJ-AM gets back to work
Britney's dad appears at trial
ASCAP winners
Ray Lowry dies
Frankie Venom dies
Neal Hefti dies
Jay Sean signs to Cash Money
Single review: Wave Machines - The Greatest Escape We Ever Made (Chess Club)
Strokes to record new album next year
News on Chinese Democracy
Unreleased Lopes recordings out next month
Ex-Pipette announces solo single
Little Boots previews new tracks
Oasis announce summer stadium tour
Keane add second O2 date
Stevie Wonder hasn't cancelled tour, okay
Album review: Black Carrot - Drink The Black Forest (Tin Angel Records)
Play.com enter secondary ticketing market
Orange music chief added to MusicTank debate
RAJAR round up
Radio City presenter sacked after drink drive conviction
Starr tells fake fans to piss off. Peace and love
Cowell not receiving a BRIT
Madonna and Guy: the backlash begins
Phone nearly scuppers Prince show
Monkey chums hate Chung
ASCAP awards winners in full
ON THE NETWORK...
CMU Daily Archives
Same Six Questions
CMU Directory
Advertise with CMU
 

FRIDAY 17TH OCTOBER

OF MONTREAL
Of Montreal began as a solo project for frontman Kevin Barnes in 1997 but has since expanded to a line-up that currently stands at six members. Sometimes verging on twee, other times psychedelic or even music hall, Of Montreal's style is excitable and dynamic, and always ready to surprise.

In total the band have racked up an impressive nine studio albums, including the excellent 'Cherry Peel', 'The Gay Parade' and 'Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer?', the latter of which is the band's darkest outing, influenced by Barnes' troubled personal life at that time.

However, the band now return with a much more upbeat new album 'Skeletal Lamping' through Polyvinyl Records on 21 Oct, followed by single 'Id Engager' on 27 Oct. Kevin Barnes answered our Same Six Questions.


 

Q1 How did you start out making music?
My parents moved the family from Michigan to south Florida. I didn't have any friends, so I spent all of my time writing and recording on my four track cassette recorder. I wrote hundreds of songs and developed the practice of piecing songs together, one instrument at a time, which I still use today.

Q2 What inspired your latest album?
Depression, anxiety, joy, sex, paranoia, anger, love, desire, confusion...

Q3 What process do you go through in creating an album?
I just start working and follow the creative spirit wherever it wants to go. Eventually, I have enough music for an album and then I edit it all and piece it together in a fashion that I find interesting.

Q4 Which artists influence your work?
Curtis Mayfield, Sly Stone, Prince, David Bowie, John Lennon, Ray Davies, Fela Kuti, Os Mutantes, Brian Wilson, Deerhoof, Outkast, Erykah Badu, The Neptunes, Brian Eno...

Q5 What would you say to someone experiencing your music for the first time?
Hey baby, what's up?

Q6 What are your ambitions for your latest album/single, and for the future?
I just hope that people spend some time with the new album and allow it into their hearts. As far as the future goes, I just hope to stay inspired and excited about the possibilities of art music.

MORE>> www.ofmontreal.net and www.myspace.com/ofmontreal

 

VIGSY'S CLUB TIP: Fabric ninth birthday weekend at Fabric
Fabric's been going strong for nine whole years now, and this weekend the club is celebrating that milestone. I remember going along to Fabric during that first month all those years ago, and remember thinking, while listening to Underground Resistance's Galaxy 2 Galaxy on that amazing 'bodysonic' dancefloor in the main room, that it doesn't get much better than this. Friday's Fabric Live has always been good, and attracts a party crowd, with cutting edge drum n bass and beats, and Tech on Saturdays from Richards and Francis has been consistently good, too. And it's the Saturday event I'm tipping today, not least because it runs from 11pm on Saturday, all the way to midday on Sunday. In Room 1, residents Craig Richards and Terry Francis will be joined by Luciano, Shinedoe and Ralph Lawson. Room 2 is headlined by Detroit techno superstar and UR commander: Robert Hood, with Mark Broom, and one of my fave artists Soul Designer playing live. Real name Fabrice Lig, SD makes fresh melodic techno with soul in a deluxe style - check out this live video. Finally, in Room 3, new Detroit protege Omar S headlines a line-up that also includes Patrice Scott and Keith Worthy. Happy birthday Fabric. You are, put simply, a proper club with proper music.

Sat 18 Sep, Fabric, 77a Charterhouse Street, London, EC1M, 10pm-6am, £16/£12 NUS or £5 after 5am. More info from www.fabriclondon.com, press from
Danna at Fabric PR

 

 



Don't forget you can now check out CMU favourites old and new on CMU-Tube, our online music video service powered by MUZU.

Set up your own MUZU channel, select tracks from the MUZU catalogue, and embed your own MUZU Player on your own website or blog - simple. Sign up here.

 

 

CMU SOCIAL POP QUIZ CONTROVERSY!
Yeah, bit of a scandal has materialising here at CMU - anyone would think Ant and Dec were our executive Producers. We just realised that we forgot to mark one of the pop quizzes from Tuesday's CMU Social. Not only was it the first to be handed in, but it achieved the highest score. So, in the interest of fairness, here is the new leader board - well done to Martin at I Blame The Parents and apologies to Bear 74 Management. If you both come to the Social next month, we'll sort out some sort of prize for both of you. Now, please don't report us to OfCom.

1. I Blame The Parents Records (19/20)
2. Bear 74 Management (18/20)
3. Big City Redneck (14/20)
3. Tim Fowler - Russells/The Sneer (14/20)
5. Collins Long Solicitors (13/20)

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DJ-AM GETS BACK TO WORK
Adam Goldstein has performed his first DJ set since surviving that much reported plane crash last month. And it was no low-key event either, the DJ performed with Jay-Z at the Hollywood Palladium, scratching and rapping along with the rapper.

Following a performance of 'Show Me What You Got', Jay-Z told the crowd to "Make some noise for DJ AM tonight", before also paying tribute to Goldstein's fellow survivor Travis Barker and the four people who died in the crash.

Goldstein has also given his first interview since the crash to People, in which he describes himself as "the luckiest man alive". He said of his escape from the Learjet: "[There was] fire everywhere. I tried to cover my face as I jumped through a fireball. As soon as I hit the ground, I remembered, 'Stop, drop and roll.' So I started rolling".

He added: "My emotions go back and forth. I can't believe I made it. I'm just grateful."

Goldstein is scheduled to resume his residency at Caesars Palace's Pure nightclub in Las Vegas next Tuesday.

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BRITNEY'S DAD APPEARS AT TRIAL
Britney Spears' previously reported driver's licence trial took place on Thursday but the singer wasn't there in person. Her father Jamie appeared at the hearing, however, and insisted that his daughter wouldn't be doing any talking, her entire defence consisting of his testimony.

As much previously reported, this all relates to a 2007 incident in which Britney hit a parked car and then left the scene without notifying the owner. The charges, however, relate to the fact she didn't have a valid California driver's licence at the time of the incident.

But the defence argued yesterday that, in fact, Britney didn't need to have a California driver's licence because she didn't meet residency requirements, despite the fact that Spears senior admitted on the stand that his daughter had got married, had two children and got divorced in the Golden State. However, he did tell the jury that the pop star intends to return to her native Louisiana once she has custody of her children, which seems a bit odd, because I can't see a situation in which she would be granted sole custody.

Anyway, defence and prosecution had both done their bits by the end of Thursday, with the jury set to return to deliberate on the matter today.

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ASCAP WINNERS
It's been a busy week for awards and nominations, this one, and there's one more to report on. It was the annual UK awards from US publishing collecting society ASCAP in London this week, celebrating the British songwriters who have enjoyed most success in the American market.

Awards were handed out to the songwriters represented in the US by ASCAP who enjoyed the most airplay on American radio last year, many of whom were old timers winning for old songs still enjoying much exposure on US radio stations - the likes of New Order, Paul McCartney, Phil Collins and Yusuf Islam - though newer artists also won awards, and special prizes at that, including Kate Nash, The Kooks and, if you count her as new, Dido.

There's a full list of ASCAP winners at the bottom of today's CMU Daily, meanwhile here's a quote from ASCAP Senior Vice President International Roger Greenaway: "We're very pleased to celebrate the achievements of the writer and publisher members of the PRS whose music is represented by ASCAP in the United States".

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RAY LOWRY DIES
Cartoonist Ray Lowry, famed for his cover art for The Clash's seminal 1979 album 'London Calling', has died at the age of 64. The Salford-born artist, who had been ill for a number of years, was found dead at his home in Waterfoot, Lancashire, on Tuesday.

Lowry, who during the course of his career contributed to publications like Punch, Private Eye and NME, met The Clash at a Sex Pistols gig in Manchester, and the band invited him to join them on tour, which led to his designing the aforementioned artwork.

An exhibition of Lowry's work is currently on show at the See Gallery in Rawenstall in Lancashire. Curator Julian Williams said: "Ray was regarded as Britain's best rock cartoonist, but he was also a very, very intelligent man, commenting on religion and politics as well as music".

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FRANKIE VENOM DIES
Teenage Head's Frankie Venom has died at the age of 51, following a battle with throat cancer. His death was announced by band mate Gord Lewis via a press release and on the band's official website www.teenagehead.ca.

A legend on the Canadian punk scene, the singer, real name Frank Kerr, was in fact born in Glasgow, Scotland, before moving to Hamilton, Ontario, where the band was formed at Westdale High School back in 1975. They released their first independent single in 1978 and their eponymous debut the following year, but their breakthrough came with the release of their 'Frantic City' LP in 1980, and the single 'Let's Shake'.

Kerr left the group in the late eighties, forming two short-lived bands, Frankie Venom And The Blue Angels and Frankie Venom And The Vipers, but returned to Teenage Head in 1996. The band this year released a special album of their biggest hits performed with Marky Ramone, and were apparently working on new material. What will happen with that new material now remains to be seen.

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NEAL HEFTI DIES
Jazz musician and TV and Film composer Neal Hefti has died at the age of 55.

Born in Hastings, Nebraska, the musician, probably best known for his 'Batman' TV theme, started his career playing trumpet for Woody Herman, but in the sixties began work on movie themes, composing music for productions such as 'Sex And The Single Girl', 'How To Murder Your Wife' and 'Barefoot In The Park'.

His work as a jazz artist and arranger was most prolific, however. During the course of his career, he arranged and conducted for the likes of Frank Sinatra, Buddy Rich and Count Basie. He also led his own big band during the fifties.

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JAY SEAN SIGNS TO CASH MONEY
British R&B star Jay Sean has signed a new deal to Cash Money Records in the US who will license his self-released debut album, 'My Own Way'.

Of the signing, Sean told CMU: "It's always been a dream for me to sign to an American label. And it's great to be accepted by the best in the game".

Billy Grant, MD of Jay's management company 2Point9, added: "This is great news for British black music. Six years of hard work has really paid off. Jay has developed into a fantastic artist and this has been acknowledged by America's most successful record label".

A repackaged version of 'My Own Way', featuring a bonus remix by Lil Wayne of forthcoming single 'Tonight', will be released through Cash Money via Jayded Music on 1 Dec.

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SINGLE REVIEW: Wave Machines - The Greatest Escape We Ever Made (Chess Club Records)
Liverpudlians Wave Machines are back with their second single on Chess Club Records out at the end of October. The hard copy is only available on vinyl, so if you've not fallen in with that revival you'll have to go for the download. 'The Greatest Escape We Ever Made' is a pretty track with basic rhythm and vocal parts to match. The drum machine and synth melodies twinkle along for nearly four and a half minutes without actually hitting any peak along the way. It's a chilled ambient track you would walk in the sun to rather than party, but as there's very little sun it'll have to be reserved for very chilled parties. AW
Release Date: 27 Oct
Press Contact: Freeman PR [RP, NP], Alchemy Radio [RR, NR]

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STROKES TO RECORD NEW ALBUM NEXT YEAR
The Strokes' bassist Nikolai Fraiture has told the BBC that the band are planning to start work on their new album in the new year.

In London this week to play a solo show, he explained why it's taken a wee while for the group to get it together, saying: "We are looking at going into the studio in February now and getting back to being a band again. It started with Nick [Valensi, guitarist] having twins with his wife and he asked for a good amount of time off. After about six months he was ready to come back but other members of the band were doing their own thing. Albert [Hammond Jr, guitarist] was doing his thing with his solo project and Julian [Casablancas, vocalist] needed time off. One thing led to another so studio time kept getting pushed back".

Fraiture, who for his solo work goes by the alias Nickel Eye, releases his debut album on 27 Jan.

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NEWS ON CHINESE DEMOCRACY
Democracy in China may never happen. But it looks like 'Chinese Democracy' might. The tracklisting for the long long long long long long long awaited Guns n Roses album is up on an inactive pre-order page on the website belonging to Best Buy, the outlet who have won the exclusive right to retail the new LP in the US. According to reports, of the fourteen tracks listed, eleven have already reached the public domain via one source or another, having either been leaked online or played live.

Here is the tracklisting. Though I am, of course, contractually obliged to say don't hold your breath.

Chinese Democracy
Scraped
Shackler's Revenge
Street Of Dreams
If The World
Better
This I Love
There Was A Time
Riad N' The Bedovins
Sorry
I.R.S.
Catcher
Madagascar
Prostitute

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UNRELEASED LOPES RECORDINGS OUT NEXT MONTH
According to reports, previously unreleased recordings by the late Lisa 'Left Eye' Lopes are to be released as a solo album on 11 Nov. Family friend Jay Marose revealed the news, and said that Lopes expected to die young, and often talked about her death. "She knew she was going to pass away and it was her plan to get all of this out there so people could learn what she had done", he said. "She wanted people to hear it and wanted her family to do whatever they had to do".

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EX-PIPETTE ANNOUNCES SOLO SINGLE
Former Pipette Rose Elinor Dougall has announced details of her debut solo single, 'Another Version Of Pop Song', which will be released by Scarlett Records on 8 Dec. An album is scheduled for release next summer.

You can hear the single right now on her MySpace page, here.

Rose is also playing some gigs. These are them:

30 Oct: Manchester, Manchester Deaf Institute
26 Nov: London, 229
4 Dec: Manchester, Ruby Lounge

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LITTLE BOOTS PREVIEWS NEW TRACKS
Little Boots, aka former Dead Disco frontwoman Victoria Hesketh, has announced that she will preview a new song a week on MySpace over the next month or so, which is good because we really like her and would like to hear more new tracks.

She wrote on her MySpace blog: "I've got some new tracks which I'm going to preview on here over the next month a so, one song per week... they're gonna be a bit of a mixed bag, some album tracks, some demos, who knows maybe even some possible singles. If you check my blog I'll write a little bit about it there every time I put a new one up, which will (hopefully!) be every Monday. How does that sound?"

And here is that all-important MySpace page: www.myspace.com/littlebootsmusic

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OASIS ANNOUNCE SUMMER STADIUM TOUR
Oasis have announced details of a massive stadium tour next year, which will kick off with that previously reported "super-gig" in Manchester at a venue "you'd never guess". That one turns out to be two gigs at the city's Heaton Park. Which I think I probably could have guessed, actually. The band will also play two nights at Wembley Stadium. Tickets for all shows go on sale on 24 Oct.

Tour dates:

6 Jun: Manchester, Heaton Park
7 Jun: Manchester, Heaton Park
10 Jun: Sunderland, Stadium of Light
12 Jun: Cardiff, Millennium Stadium
17 Jun: Edinburgh, Murrayfield Stadium
20 Jun: Dublin, Slane Castle
11 Jul: London, Wembley Stadium
12 Jul: London, Wembley Stadium

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KEANE ADD SECOND O2 DATE
Keane have announced a second night at the O2 Arena in London next February because of demand for the first show, announced last month. The new date will be on 13 Feb, handily exactly one day after the previous O2 show, which will be on 12 Feb. Tickets for the show are on sale now from www.keanemusic.com.

Revised tour dates:

23 Oct: London, Koko (BBC Electric Proms)
15 Nov: London, Union Chapel (Little Noise Sessions)
23 Jan: Belfast, Odyssey Arena
25 Jan: Dublin, The O2
27 Jan: Newcastle, Arena
29 Jan: Glasgow, SECC
31 Jan: Manchester, MEN Arena
1 Feb: Nottingham Arena
3 Feb: Bournemouth, BIC
4 Feb: Cardiff, Arena
6 Feb: Sheffield, Arena
7 Feb: Liverpool, Arena
9 Feb: Plymouth, Pavilions
10 Feb: Brighton, Centre
12 Feb: London, O2 Arena
13 Feb: London, O2 Arena

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STEVIE WONDER HASN'T CANCELLED TOUR, OKAY
Stevie Wonder has denied US reports claiming that he'd cancelled his current tour because his house had burned down in the San Fernando Valley fires in California, and that he was too devastated to continue with his live dates. The singer said in a statement: "I'm grateful to say that my house was not burned down in the fire. I extend my sympathies to anyone who may have been touched by this horrendous event".

Wonder's tour of Australia continues, with upcoming dates in Melbourne and Sydney.

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ALBUM REVIEW: Black Carrot - Drink The Black Forest (Tin Angel Records).
Oh ho ho....devilish laugh. This is some demented music. And it comes from a dull as dishwater Leicestershire town? Almost unfathomable. Unsurprisingly favoured by Damo Suzuki, the man who claims he is Damo Suzuki (Mark E Smith), Faust and (superhuman drummer/Billy Corgan look-alike) Chris Corsano, 'DTBF' rattles manically through cornerstones of post-1960s weird rock music, touching Krautrock, Beefheart and a kind of Lizzy Mercier Descloux (or Rosa Yemen) disjointed No-Wave funk. The Lizzy Mercier Descloux comparison is noticeable in respect of the clipped but unsettling rhythms (dually evoking Can) and Dadaist playful approach to the sound of the vocals (only Black Carrot's aren't sexy and French-tinged, but spit garbled Midlands stutter-slur). 'Nervous Was My Information' is a superb track that unsettles and breaks out into a rapturous sax part with paranoid chatter panned in the far reaches of the mix. 'Keep Out' and 'Diamonds Are The Answers' are a monstrous welcome to the album. The first is ADHD scratchy, abrasive and funkish (in a P-funk way), the latter a world music tinged vocal drone that then explodes into a melee of noise. It's a trick that Liars have attempted many a time, but have lacked the eccentric authenticity of Black Carrot's second album. This is a very talented and unhinged collective that have a high level of musical virtuosity, yet, do not fall into the technical conventions many talented musicians are rooted to. A bold and entirely weird but nonetheless beguiling work that Black Carrot should be rightfully proud of. PG
Release Date: 3 Nov
Press Contact: Hermana PR

Buy from Amazon

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PLAY.COM ENTER SECONDARY TICKETING MARKET
Entertainment etailer Play.com has announced it is launching a secondary ticketing service, one of those facilities where everyday touts can resell gig tickets for profit that the live sector and artist management community love so much. Play.com say their ticket resale service is better than those of their competitors because they only charge a commission to the seller not the buyer, they guarantee any tickets bought, and they don't pass on payment to the seller until after the event, giving buyers a comeback if tickets fail to arrive or prove to be fraudulent.

Play.com founder Richard Goulding told reporters: "We now have the ultimate entertainment offering separating us from the competition in the marketplace. You can now buy the ticket, the CD, the poster and the t-shirt from us, proving that we are leading the way as the best online retailer of entertainment in the UK. The ticket audience is a natural market for Play and a great service for our customers. The service was launched 48 hours ago and uptake has been huge. Thousands of tickets are being listed every hour and prices on many events are falling fast".

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ORANGE MUSIC CHIEF ADDED TO MUSICTANK DEBATE
The Head Of Music for Orange in Europe has joined the panel for the first of those previously reported MusicTank debates which will be exploring revenue streams available to the record industry in the digital age.

Under the headline of 'Let's Sell Recorded Music', there will be four think tanks as part of the series, the first called 'Here We Are Now, Entertain Us' and asking what is it, exactly, that consumers want from digital music services?

Orange's Philippe Steinmetz joins the panel for the first debate along side Feargal Sharkey, CEO of UK Music; Paul Hitchman, MD of digital music service PlayLouder; journalist Andrew Orlowski of The Register; Keith Jopling, former Director of Strategic Research at IFPI; and 7Digital top man Ben Drury.

You'll find full info on all this at this here URL: http://www.musictank.co.uk/events/let2019s-sell-recorded-music-part-1-here-we-are-now-entertain-us

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RAJAR ROUND UP
OK, it was another RAJAR Thursday yesterday, so let's speed through the top line figures from the quarterly radio industry ratings report shall we?

First up, some good news for the long since flagging Capital FM, which finally regained the crown for biggest commercial radio breakfast show in London. Capital's Johnny Vaughan fronted show has never managed the lead his predecessor Chris Tarrant enjoyed in the breakfast show market, normally losing out to competition from Jamie Theakston at Heart and Neil Fox at Magic.

But this quarter, despite the embarrassment of the much hyped on air reunion of Vaughan and former Big Breakfast co-host Denise Van Outen finishing six months early, and even though actually the show's listening figures are down year on year, the Capital breakfast show returned to the number one in London spot. So, celebratory croissants all round I say.

Magic, who had the number one London breakfast show in recent RAJAR surveys, held on to the title of biggest commercial station in London, though only just because Capital enjoyed some audience gains across the board while the Bauer owned Magic station saw both listener numbers and audience share drop a little.

Elsewhere in RAJARville, the BBC continues to lead over commercial radio, mainly thanks to the multi-million figure audiences pulled in by big name presenters on the national Beeb stations, like Terry Wogan on Radio 2 and Chris Moyles on Radio 1. Radio 2 remains the UK's biggest station by some distance, with the commercial national stations seeing their audience figures either fall - in the case of Virgin Radio and Classic FM - or stay pretty much the same - in the case of TalkSport.

The commercial radio sector, though, would presumably like me to point out that the BBC's lead over commercial stations in terms of audience share is down from to 55.5% to 54.9%, and that the commercial sector did particularly well in the local radio space. Andrew Harrison from commercial radio body Radiocentre told reporters: "We have seen some very encouraging results for the commercial radio sector and it is particularly pleasing to see us once again regaining some market share - adding two percentage points across the last two quarters. Local commercial radio in particular has had a really strong quarter; this is the second set of results that we have had released since the relaxed regulation for local stations and it is good to see this having a continued positive effect, this confirms yet again that our stations know what they are doing in serving their local audience".

Finally, how is that new fangled digital radio doing? Well, despite many of the major radio companies dropping their digital only services, and the future of DAB looking a bit dodgy following Channel 4's complete withdrawal from the broadcasting medium, digital radio listening continues to rise, with digital services accounting for 18.7% of all radio listening in the last quarter, up from 17.9% last quarter and 15% the quarter before.

Of course, a lot of digital listening is for services available via analogue radio too - ie people are buying digital radio sets and then using them to tune into Radio 1 or Classic FM rather than 1Xtra or Jazz FM. That said, 1Xtra saw the biggest increase in audience size in the digital sector, up 42%, while other BBC digital services Radio 7 and Five Live Sports Extra also saw their listening figures go up. 6Music's listening figures were pretty much the same as before, while the BBC Asian Network saw its listening figures fall.

In the commercial sector, ironically one of the stations which one of the aforementioned big radio companies axed, Planet Rock, saw its audience grow 16% year on year, which is good news for its new independent owners. Other commercial digital services with a boost in ratings included Virgin Classic Rock (now Absolute Classic Rock), The Arrow and The Hits.

The new RAJARs also included the first set of ratings for new digital service NME Radio, which scored an average weekly reach of 215,000 listeners, a figure which the new station seems happy with. NME Radio MD Sammy Jacob told CMU: "This is a great result for us at this stage of our launch programme. We are targeting platforms that are right for our audience, we're delivering the bands and artists they love and we'll continue to innovate in terms of programming and delivery of creative solutions for our commercial partners".

NME Publishing Director Paul Cheal added: "It's been a fantastic year for the NME brand, picking up a number of awards across our platforms. This result for NME Radio strengthens our position as a truly multi-platform brand and plays a vital part in NME increasing its reach which is already over one million music fans every week".

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RADIO CITY PRESENTER SACKED AFTER DRINK DRIVE CONVICTION
A presenter on Liverpool radio station Radio City has been fired after being found guilty of drink-driving last week.

Kev Seed was suspended from his afternoon show last week after magistrates in South Ribble, Lancashire fined him £1250 and banned him from driving for 12 months after being found driving over the legal alcohol limit on the M6 two weeks ago. He reportedly had a meeting with the Bauer owned radio station yesterday where he was told he was being fired. It's thought he is trying to appeal the management decision.

A spokesman for the station told RadioToday.co.uk: "We are currently in disciplinary proceedings with Kev, until this process has concluded we are unable to comment".

Seed himself is quoted thus: "I am in a state of total shock. After 11 years I just did not expect this. I can't say much more as the whole thing is in the hands of my lawyers but I hope to be back on air doing what I do best as soon as possible. Now, can someone get me a drink, I've got a few spare minutes before I need to drive home". Well, he said some of that.

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STARR TELLS FAKE FANS TO PISS OFF. PEACE AND LOVE
Ringo Starr has reportedly issued a statement following that video message he posted on his website earlier this week telling fans that he won't read any fan mail or sign anything sent to him after 20 Oct. However, he now says that the message was not aimed at "real fans". Quite how you tell if a CD cover to sign was sent to you by a real fan or a fake one, I'm not sure.

According to Undercover, the statement reads: "Ringo Starr recently put a video update on his official website asking people not to continue to send fan mail to be signed after 20 Oct. This was in direct response to an inordinate amount of items which have recently appeared for sale on e-bay, and to those that repeatedly send cards and items to be signed. This message was not aimed at 'real fans' and after over 45 years of signing we know they will understand. Ringo has always signed items and is in fact the only Beatle to have been doing so. Ringo also feels strongly that it is a waste of paper and we all should be mindful of our carbon footprint. At the end of the day Ringo wanted to make a message that was clear and to the point and is confident his real fans understand that. That said, the recent response from the media has prompted him to clarify that video".

Ringo added: "How amazed am I to the reaction to my video update. I hope this statement gets as much. Please read this in a mellow way. Peace and love, Ringo".

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COWELL NOT RECEIVING A BRIT
It's official, The BRIT Awards hate Simon Cowell and will not be giving him an Outstanding Achievement Award at next year's ceremony. Instead, they will be getting a member of Chumbawamba to dump a bucket of cold water over his head. Maybe. OK, perhaps I've embellished a little on what they actually said.

A statement straight out of the BRIT Awards press office yesterday read: "Contrary to reports in a tabloid newspaper yesterday, Simon Cowell has not been approached, invited, selected or confirmed to receive any awards at The BRITs 2009'".

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MADONNA AND GUY: THE BACKLASH BEGINS
I genuinely thought that Madonna and Guy Ritchie's divorce would be a pleasant one which would pass by smoothly and then be forgotten. What was I thinking? Madonna apparently took a swipe at her soon to be ex-husband on stage in Boston just hours after the split was made official.

According to reports, the singer dedicated her recent single 'Miles Away' to "the emotionally retarded". She then added: "Maybe you know some people who fall into that category, I certainly do". She also introduced 'I'm Not Sorry' by shouting "That's right, I'm not sorry".

According to The Mirror, Guy Ritchie told friends that the marriage came to end because it had become a "charade" and a "three ring circus". He is also reported to have said: "I just wanted a regular husband and wife thing. But it was always a great song and dance just to do ordinary stuff".

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PHONE NEARLY SCUPPERS PRINCE SHOW
Oh, you all laughed when Prince got angry about people pulling out their phones at his shows and putting grainy, unlistenable videos on YouTube, but it seems he may have been correct to do so. According to reports, the musician was nearly forced to cancel a gig after a mobile phone interfered with his technical equipment. Fans were asked to turn of their phones and were reportedly told: "There may not be a show."

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MONKEY CHUMS HATE CHUNG
Friends of Arctic Monkeys and Last Shadow Puppets frontman Alex Turner apparently don't like his girlfriend, Alexa Chung. According to The Sun, the couple's "slushy smooching" has led friends to hide "behind pub sofas cringing", and they have also taken exception to Chung's tendency to refer to Alex as Alexander. It all sounds quite petty to me. Though one of said friends reportedly said: "It's not very rock n roll", and they have a point. I mean, how many other rock stars do you know who have a girlfriend. Or a name. Not one.

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ASCAP AWARDS WINNERS IN FULL

Songwriter Of The Year: Dido Armstrong

Publisher Of The Year: Guy Moot, Managing Director, Emi Music Publishing UK

Song Of The Year: John Beck and Steven Chrisanthou for Corinne Bailey Rae track 'Put Your Records On'

College Award: The Kooks for 'Inside In/Inside Out'

The Vanguard Award: Kate Nash for 'Made Of Bricks'

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SONG AWARDS (for the most played British songs on American radio)

'Back In Black'
Writers: Brian Johnson
Publisher: J Albert & Son Publishing UK Ltd

'Blue Monday'
Writers: Gillian Gilbert, Peter Hook, Stephen Morris, Bernard Sumner
Publisher: Warner/Chappell Music Ltd

'Come Together'
Writer: Paul McCartney
Publisher: Sony/ATV Music Publishing (UK) Limited

'Don't You Want Me'
Writers: John Callis, Philip Oakey, Adrian Wright
Publishers: V2 Music Publishing, EMI Music Publishing

'Everlasting God'
Writer: Ken Riley
Publisher: Thankyou Music Ltd

'First Cut Is The Deepest'
Writer: Yusuf Islam
Publisher: EMI Music Publishing

'Hello Goodbye'
Writer: Paul McCartney
Publisher: Sony/ATV Music Publishing (UK) Limited

'I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For'
Writers: Bono, Adam Clayton, The Edge, Larry Mullen Jr
Publisher: Blue Mountain Music Ltd

'In The Air Tonight'
Writer: Phil Collins
Publishers: Hit & Run, EMI Music Publishing

'Love Like This'
Writer: Wayne Wilkins
Publisher: Kobalt Music Publishing

'New Shoes'
Writers: Mathew Benbrook, James Duguid, Paolo Nutini
Publisher: Warner/Chappell Music Ltd

'Nothing In My Way'
Writer: Tim Rice Oxley
Publisher: Universal Music Publishing

'Pour Some Sugar On Me'
Writers: Philip Collen, Stephen Clark, Joe Elliott, Mutt Lange, Richard Savage
Publishers: Sony/ATV Music Publishing (UK) Limited, Imagem Music

'Put Your Records On'
Writers: John Beck, Steven Chrisanthou
Publisher: Good Groove Songs Ltd

'See The World'
Writers: Ian Ball, Paul Blackburn, Thomas Gray, Benjamin Ottewell, Oliver Peacock
Publisher: Kobalt Music Publishing

'Start Me Up'
Writers: Mick Jagger, Keith Richards
Publisher: EMI Music Publishing

'Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)'
Writers: Dave Stewart, Annie Lennox
Publisher: Universal Music Publishing

'Thank You'
Writer: Dido Armstrong
Publisher: Warner/Chappell Music Ltd

'White Flag'
Writers: Dido Armstrong, Rollo Armstrong
Publishers: Warner/Chappell Music Ltd, Universal Music Publishing

'You Shook Me All Night Long'
Writers: Brian Johnson
Publisher: J Albert & Son Publishing UK Ltd

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FILM SCORE AWARDS

Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix, Nick Hooper
Atonement, Dario Marianelli
The Brave One, Dario Marianelli
Becoming Jane, Adrian Johnston
There Will Be Blood, Jonny Greenwood
La Vie En Rose, Christopher Gunning
Mr Bean's Holiday, Howard Goodall

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TV THEME AWARDS

American Idol
Writers: Cathy Dennis, Julian Gingell, Barry Stone
Publishers: EMI Music Publishing, Imagem Music

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
Writers: Matthew Strachan, Keith Strachan
Publishers: Universal Music Publishing

House
Writer: Elizabeth Fraser
Publishers: Sony/ATV Music Publishing (UK) Limited

Dancing With The Stars
Writers: Dan McGrath, Josh Philips
Publisher: BBC Worldwide / Universal Music Publishing

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