EXECUTION FACTOR LOSES OUT TO DANCING COLONELS
The communist state of Slabovia is in uproar after Strictly Regimented Dancing trounced the hotly tipped Execution Factor to the top entertainment gong.

Speaking at yesterday's State- Approved Television Awards, Slabovia's authoritarian leader, General Schmerdiakov, congratulated the winning show for "the portrayal of dancing that is both entertaining, while adhering to strict state-approved tango guidelines".

Execution Factor judge Rimsky Spector stormed out of the ceremony after the shock result. "I refuse believe that the public find a bunch of middle-ranking colonels shuffling in slippers more interesting than real people singing for their lives".

www.slabovia.tv

HIVES ACCUSED OF SONG THEFT
The Hives are being sued by Jason Shapiro, songwriter for the bands The Roofies, Three Way and Celebrity Skin, for allegedly stealing a riff and vocal melody for their song 'Tick Tick Boom'. Shapiro has recorded the song both with The Roofies (in 1996) and Three Way (in 2002) and only discovered the similarity when the Hives song was used on the trailer for recent movie, 'Get Smart'. After consulting a musicologist, he was left in no doubt that his song had been the source material.

Shapiro told LA Weekly: "I absolutely love The Hives and don't feel great about suing a band I love. But I also feel credit is due where it is due if you borrow a riff. [The musicologist] said the part in question - the main riff and vocal melody - was very similar and its uniqueness led him to believe it wasn't just a coincidence. He also runs it through a background test seeing if any charts from previous songs are close and we were clear on that front".

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MORE OF THE SAME: SPECTOR TRIAL UPDATE
Phil Spector has a "very rich and lively and active history of violence" towards women, normally involving guns. Added to that, he once said: "Woman are all fuckin cunts. They all deserve a bullet in their head". It should be no surprise, then, that on 3 February 2003 he killed actress Lana Clarkson as she tried to leave his Beverly Hills home with a single bullet to the head. This, I should add, is the view of prosecutor Alan Jackson, who returned to court yesterday in his second bid to get legendary producer Spector jailed for Lana Clarkson's murder.

We'd already been told the prosecution would present a very similar case in the second Spector trial as they did first time round, and certainly Jackson opened the proceedings with similar promises to introduce to the court "the real Philip Spector" and to "paint a very clear picture of a man who, when confronted with the right circumstances... turns very sinister and very violent and ultimately deadly".

Promising testimonies from five women who will claim to have been at the receiving end of Spector's sinister and violent behaviour, Jackson then recapped the events leading up to Clarkson's death in a dramatic fashion, recalling how the producer's driver, parked outside, had heard a gun shot at 5am and then seen his employer appear in a door way. "He had in his right hand a revolver...dripping between his fingers was the tiniest bit of blood", Jackson told the jury. "Then Philip Spector confessed to what had just happened inside the house, telling his driver: 'I think I killed somebody'".

Spector's new chief defence lawyer, Doron Weinberg, disputed Jackson's claims, saying his theory that there was some kind of "pattern" in the producer's behaviour towards women was "preposterous", "theatrical" and "misleading". He conceded his client may have a foul mouth, and a bad temper, and that he owned and occasionally "waved" guns, but, he added, Spector had "never fired a gun at a living being" and, most importantly, did not kill Clarkson.

What happened, Weinberg said, was that the former actress, having downed up to six drinks since arriving at Spector's home, had taken one of the producer's guns and shot herself. Continuing with the theme used by Spector's previous defence team, Weinberg claimed the actress was depressed about her "stagnated career" and stressed about money problems. She was addicted to prescription drugs and had a history of binge drinking.

Weinberg also made the same forensic claims as the defence presented in the first trial. Spector's team have always said forensic evidence points to Clarkson holding the gun that killed her - no sign of a struggle, Spector's DNA not on the gun, gun residue and blood on Clarkson's hands consistent with her firing it.

Concluding his opening address, Weinberg told the court: "Every piece of evidence in this case is completely consistent with Lana Clarkson ending her own life. She saw a gun in the bureau drawer and in that moment decided to do something impulsive and self-destructive, a decision that was entirely consistent with where she was in her life. Phil Spector did not shoot Lana Clarkson. It was a suicide because she was the person who pulled the trigger".

With opening remarks delivered, the trial continues.

Ahead of the second trial, the BBC earlier this week aired an interview with the producer which it recorded during the first court hearing. Clearly keen to win Brownie points with the judge in the case, he called Superior Court Judge Larry Fidler "a mean son of a bitch who doesn't like me", before adding: "I was eight feet away from her when she died. It can be proven forensically that I didn't kill her".

On matters other than the circumstances around Clarkson's death, Spector also spoke about Paul McCartney's decision back in 2003 to release a new version of the Beatles' Spector-produced 'Let It Be' album with all the Spector bits removed, and also responded to questions about "that haircut".

On 'Let It Be Naked' he told the Beeb: "I don't think McCartney is very secure that I went in there in a few months and did what they couldn't do in two years. John was thrilled, George was thrilled with what I'd done. What else could it be except that it's a big 'up his ass' that I had somehow taken something he had done and made it right? And he waited 35 years [to release his own version]. I don't know why. I don't care why. Whatever personal vendetta or grievance or reason, he got me mixed up with somebody who gives a shit".

And on the afro style hairdo that he donned at one point during the first murder trail - a striking image still used by some very respectable websites to illustrate this story - he told interviewer Vikram Jayanti that he did his hair that way as a two-part homage to Albert Einstein and US basketball player Ben Wallace. And not, as we all assumed, as a tribute to the Hair Bear Bunch.

Spector: "That was a tribute to Ben Wallace and to Albert Einstein. It took four-and-a-half hours to get my hair that way. Ben Wallace was the most valuable defensive player of the year for the Detroit Pistons. I spent a lot of time on it but it photographed beyond my wildest dreams. That day it got a little extreme. For some reason, in a dark setting and with a particular camera angle, it photographed much puffier and bigger than it actually was. I didn't mean to be that comical. I meant to have a sense of humour, but I didn't look that way in person. It was the shadows in the background. It puffed up to two or three times its actual size. I don't like the idea that anybody thinks I'm taking this not seriously".

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FIDDY ON WEST'S PHOTOGRAPHER ROW
50 Cent says that Kanye West needs to be famous and successful for a bit longer, and then he'll get better at not physically attacking people who try to take his picture. As previously reported, West was recently arrested at Los Angeles airport after kicking off with a photographer, and is still waiting to hear whether he'll face misdemeanour charges over the incident, in which the photographer's camera got broken.

Anyway, Fiddy says this: "You'll see artists like Kanye West, he recently had a little incident in the airport. After he's been been successful for a longer period, he'll let that frustration go without incident. I've had enough time to get used to the fact that people might want to take my picture when I don't want it taken, but I accept it".

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LIL WAYNE DENIES THAT HE'S SIGNED TO ROC NATION
Lil Wayne's management have denied those rumours that he's signed to Jay-Z's new record label Roc Nation. As previously reported, the word was that Jay-Z had bought Wayne out of his contract with Cash Money for $5m, but apparently it's not so.

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HAWLEY ARMS REOPENS
The Hawley Arms in Camden, made famous by the number of celebrities that frequent it, and even more famous by burning down in February this year, has welcomed punters back inside with a series of acoustic nights, before its official reopening tomorrow.

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FOR PROFESSORS ABOUT TO ROCK, WE SALUTE YOU
Austria will next week play host to the first international academic conference on heavy metal. The brainchild of Dr Niall Scott from the University of Central Lancashire, the conference will bring together scholars from Britain, Turkey, Canada and Indonesia to present research papers on metal aesthetics, sub-cultures and politics.

Titles to be presented include, 'Suicide, Booze And Loud Guitars: The Ethical Problem Of Heavy Metal', Controlled Anger And The Expression Of Intensity And Authenticity In Post-Modern Heavy Metal' and 'Heavy Metal In A Muslim Context: The Rise Of The Turkish Metal Underground'.

Scott says: "It is about time, that with a growing critical interest in the music and culture of heavy metal, a conference be held to explore, critique and bang heads on what this long standing movement is about, where it is going and what it has to offer, politically socially and philosophically. Characterised by extremes, it is a music movement that has a range of lifestyles attached to it, comprising of quite disparate and radically different views amongst both fans and its progenitors".

Heavy Fundamentalisms: Music, Metal & Politics takes place from 3-5 Nov at the Hotel Stieglbrau in Salzburg.

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MANAGERS STOLE FROM THE QUEEN'S COMPOSER
The former managers of the Master of the Queen's Music, Peter Maxwell Davies, have been charged with stealing almost £450,000 from him.

Michael and Judith Arnold, both in their 70s, were charged with taking £447,000 on Tuesday at Scotland Yard. The pair had looked after the composer's affairs for 30 years but allegedly began taking money from Davies' account to fund Michael Arnold's online gambling habit. The theft left Davies too depressed to write and forced him to borrow money from friends to stay afloat.

Davies told The Telegraph: "I am glad this long-drawn-out affair is finally coming to a conclusion. I have made it clear to the police that I am prepared to give evidence in court if required".

The Arnolds have been release on bail and will appear in court on 3 Nov.

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HP'S CHOICE OF GLITTER TRACK CAUSES SOME CONTROVERSY
Hewlett Packard have withdrawn their TouchSmart TV advertising campaign that featured a Joan Jett cover of Gary Glitter track 'Do You Wanna Touch Me'. The move has come about following reports suggesting that Gillter, recently released from prison in Vietnam where he was convicted of sexually assaulting two young girls, could receive as much as £100k in royalties for the use of the song.

Child protection organisations in the US protested about the use of the track with a spokesman for childabusewatch.net calling for the boycott of all HP products and a public apology. A spokeswoman for Hewlett Packard told reporters: "This is a sensitive issue and HP takes the matter very seriously. To reassure you, all relevant advertising has been withdrawn in the UK and the issue is being urgently reviewed in other countries".

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SINGLE REVIEW: Filthy Dukes - Tupac Robot Club Rock (Universal/Fiction)
This single is one of the more bombastic pieces of electronic dance rock that has percolated my ears. It is like Daft Punk's 'Robot Rock' and Beastie Boys' 'Intergalactic' have been mashed up with Del The Funkee Homosapien and a beefed up version of the arpeggiator synth line from 'I Feel Love', then processed and compressed to shit in the mix for radio rotation. Needless to say, it doesn't live up to the sum of its parts and is quite irritating. And certainly not worthy of Tupac's name. If I was Tupac I would rise up from the grave and have my vengeance. The Kill 'Em All remix has stupid quantities of synth bass but will be a dance floor smash, I expect. Think day-glo, overenthusiastic teenagers and Skins adverts. PG
Release Date: 3 Nov
Press Contact: Universal IH

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ELVIS STILL AN EARNER
Elvis Presley is still earning pots of cash long after his death, according to Forbes magazine, who put him at number one on their annual list of top dead celebrity earners. Elvis, topping the list for the second year running, beats living music stars Madonna and Justin Timberlake in earning $53m in 2007, partly because of the swathe of fans descending on Gracelands last year, the thirtieth anniversary of the star's death. Other musicians on the dead rich list were Marvin Gaye and John Lennon. The sadly recently deceased Heath Ledger was a new entry on the list, which also features the likes of Albert Einstein, cartoonist Charles Schulz, Marilyn Monroe and Paul Newman.

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COBAIN'S SECRET ARCHIVES UNVEILED
Charles R Cross, the author of what many see as the definitive Kurt Cobain biography, 'Heavier Than Heaven', which is the source material for a film of the same name being made by Courtney Love, has revealed that he has compiled a new book of material taken from Cobain's secret archives. And he really does mean secret.

Cross told Rolling Stone: "[The archive collection is at] an undisclosed location. And it literally was at an underground bomb-proof bunker that Bill Gates stored his stuff in. When I first went to visit it, it was the first time I my life my retina was ever scanned. It was like James Bond. The week Kurt died, Courtney had the sense to tell someone 'put all this stuff away', and it had all been boxed up and never opened. I think I was the first person to open these boxes - and I cannot tell you how freaky that was, to open up a Rubbermaid container and inside were Kurt Cobain's board games that had been put away".

He added that Courtney Love had given him free reign over what he put into the book: "[Courtney] was very cooperative. Completely hands-off. Her only direction was 'make sure the material is in good taste, don't put things that are ghoulish, and don't put things that focus on the darkness'".

What he selected includes journal entries, childhood drawings, paintings and numerous photographs. Cross continues: "We were working on this book when we found out that there were undeveloped rolls of film that Kurt had shot at least 15 years ago - and they were still sitting around the archive collection, and no one had ever developed them".

'Cobain Unseen' is set to be published later this year.

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SNOW PATROL VIDEO
Snow Patrol have posted the first of a series of 'webisodes' on their YouTube channel featuring them chatting about their latest single, 'Take Back The City'. The video clip is taken from the DVD portion of the deluxe version of the band's new album, 'A Hundred Million Suns'. I have said deluxe version. It is nice.

Watch the video here. There will be more episodes every day in the run up to the album's release on 27 Oct.

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LILY ALLEN REVEALS NEW ALBUM DETAILS
Lily Allen has revealed details of her forthcoming second album, 'It's Not Me, It's You', which will be released on 9 Feb and preceded by a single, 'The Fear', on 26 Jan.

The full tracklisting for the album is as follows:

Everyone's At It
The Fear
It's Not Fair
22
I Could Say
Go Back To The Start
Never Gonna Happen
Fuck You
Who'd've Known
Chinese
Him
He Wasn't There

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M83 VINYL REISSUES
Mute Records have announced that it will reissue all of M83's albums on vinyl double LP, with a bonus CD for MP3-ripping and in-car listening purposes. Beginning with the eponymous debut on 25 Nov, all five of the French electronic act's albums will be re-released, with 'Dead Cities, Red Seas & Lost Ghosts', 'Before The Dawn Heals Us', Digital Shades Vol. 1' and the recent 'Saturdays = Youth' to follow in the coming months.

M83, these days a solo project for Anthony Gonzalez, since the departure of Nicolas Fromageau in 2005, is currently supporting Kings Of Leon on their European tour.

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ALBUM REVIEW: Little Joy - Little Joy (Rough Trade)
The Strokes all seem to be getting on just fine without each other. Julian Casablancas is keeping busy with his new friends Pharrell and Santogold, Albert Hammond Jr has just knocked out his second solo album and Nikolai Fraiture's side project Nickel Eye just played their first gig at London's Borderline. A change is as good as a rest, I suppose, though whisperings of a new Strokes album in 2009 helps to reassure that they are not done with each other just yet. Drummer Fabrizio Moretti's new ensemble comprises himself, Binky Shapiro and Los Hermanos singer/guitarist Rodrigo Amarante. The outfit is the baby of a random hook-up at a Portuguese Festival where Moretti and Amarante became firm friends. Moretti subsequently provided some much needed release outside office hours for Amarante, during a long and arduous recording process with Devandra Banhart in the States. Binki Shapiro became the glue that the pair needed and helped spur them on to stop the fruitless chat and to get the ball rolling on their musical plans instead. Little Joy are the beaming ray of sunshine that is oh so needed right now to cut through the impending winter misery. Named after a cocktail lounge down the street from their communal home, Little Joy is an injection of summer in your headphones. They create a pure lushness, heavy with twinkling keys, gentle guitars and swoonful vocals that are a lot Ben Harper and a little bit Strokes. Little Joy is one side project that is definitely destined to be filed closer to The Raconteurs and Grinderman in the audiophile's audio file than, say, Zwan and Audioslave. MB
Release Date: 3 Nov
Press Contact: Rough Trade IH

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NEW GNARLS BARKLEY EP
A new Gnarls Barkley EP will be out on 11 Nov. The record will contain a new track, 'Mystery Man', as well as some live versions of previously released songs.

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KATY PERRY ANNOUNCES 2009 UK DATES
Katy Perry has announced two live dates in London and Manchester in February next year, which are a little bigger than that Water Rats show I didn't go to earlier this year. Damn.

Here are the dates:

25 Feb: Manchester, Academy 2
26 Feb: London, Koko

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COCKER PLANS TO TALK TO THE FANS
Jarvis Cocker says he's going to try and incorporate lectures into his tour dates, and also turn it all into a disco at the end, in order to make the gig a more interactive experience.

He told BBC news: "Something I'm going to try on tour, God knows if it'll work, is doing some spoken word things".

Cocker recently gave lectures at the Brighton Festival and as In The City in Manchester, and that seems to be his inspiration for the new look gigs. He continues: "I'm going to try and bring a bit of that into the concert maybe, in between songs. I've also got this idea that maybe we could in some ways try and morph the concert into a disco at the end. I'm looking into ways I could do that. I think it would be nice if I could blend these areas of interest that I've got. It could be an absolute disaster, I don't know. We're going to do a few tests and see if it's at all possible".

Cocker's upcoming live dates, if you still want to go now that you know you're getting a lecture, are as follows:

November 2008

25 Nov: Sheffield Academy, Sheffield
26 Nov: Shepherds Bush Empire, London
28 Nov: Picture House, Edinburgh
30 Nov: Manchester Academy, Manchester
02 Dec: Birmingham Academy, Birmingham

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TAKE THAT SAY THEY'RE BETTER THAN OASIS
Take That say that they're a better bet than Oasis, and if, in these hard times, you can't afford to go to both bands' upcoming tours, then you should choose them.

Point one, yes, I have to say, I'd prefer to see Take That, even though I've never been a massive fan, just because I am not a fan of the Gallaghers at all. Point two, though - how many people really would go to see both? I can't imagine there are that many that would want to.

Anyway, here's what Howard Take That told The Mirror: "We're all about the spectacle, putting on an amazing show for the fans, with lots of high energy and dancing. Oasis are great... if you just want to see a band stand still and sing."

Bandmate Mark Owen said added: "I really want to go and see Oasis but if finances make people choose one or the other, then come and see us".

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ALBUM REVIEW: The Chemical Brothers - Remixes (Harmless Records)
In the last 14 years, The Chemical Brothers have alighted not just the domestic but also the international dance scene with their house based rhythms and warped pop melodies. Appropriating ideas from many diverse sources and forging them in the smelting pot of dance pop to seek out only the finest, most danceable songs has always been their goal. Now from the vantage point of the present we can delve into their past and see how their music has been influenced by those acts that arrived into the cultural surroundings of their early career. Unlike their recent greatest hits compilation 'Brotherhood' however, this CD gives, at times, a clearer reflection of the influences that has helped create he modern dance powerhouse that is The Chemical Brothers. As remixes they stand as a cultural milestone, a move from the baggy feel of acid house and towards a minimal house approach; they evoke the feeling of the early Brit-pop era as a new direction in British music is pursued. The remixes work best when they sound vaguely like Chemical Brothers originals, such as on their reworkings of The Charlatans' 'Nice Acre Dust' or Method Man's 'Bring The Pain'. It is worth remembering however that this is strictly a dance album and not something that you would find on a traditional Chemical Brothers album; it doesn't always work and this collection should probably only be purchased by firm fans of the duo only. SJS
Release Date: 3 Nov
Press Contact: Demon Music Group [All]

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NEW CONVENTION AND FESTIVAL PLANNED FOR PERTH
Now this is exciting, especially for those of you down under. A brand new music convention and festival was announced at MUSExpo in London this week, to take place in Perth next October. It will include a MUSExpo style industry convention, plus a festival showcasing bands from across the world, and especially Australasia, South East Asia and the Pacific Rim, with a bid to introduce leading bands from countries in that region to a worldwide audience.

Called the One Movement Festival, it is being staged by Sunset Events, Chugg Entertainment and the people behind MUSExpo A&R Worldwide.

Confirming the plans, Chugg Entertainment's Michael Chugg told reporters: "One Movement Festival Perth is long overdue and gives the music business worldwide a massive opportunity to gather and exchange ideas on all facets of the changing face of our industry, including: the booming live scene, IT and telcos, recording, digital music and copyright. This festival will give the Australian and Asian-Pacific music industries a platform for inter-action and bonding like never before. One Movement will give the Oz industry the chance to learn more about our Asian neighbours and they about us; something very dear to my heart and important to our country's position as a major part of the worldwide industry in future years. I'm very proud to have played a small part in this bold move".

A&R Worldwide's Sat Bisla added: "We are excited to be working with the legendary Michael Chugg, Sunset Events and Eventscorp as part of a global event that will unite artists, fans and industry together through their common passion for music. One Movement Festival Perth will bring the local, national and international communities together for the purpose of experiencing the crŠme de la crŠme of live music, discovering new creative and business solutions and opportunities for a fast-changing worldwide music industry, as well as interacting with fans who support our common passion for all things music".

CMU-Tube was back stage at MUSExpo yesterday, and Michael Chugg was among the panellists we interviewed. Look out for details on how to access those interviews very soon.

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GATFIELD SAYS MORE EXPERIENCE NEEDED BEFORE PROMOTING A&RS
Talking of MUSExpo, the all new President of A&R Labels for North America and the UK at EMI, Nick Gatfield, took part in an A&R Forum at the conference yesterday, and said that A&R departments needed people experienced in all aspects of artist development and relations, not just in scouting new bands.

According to Billboard, Gatfield told the conference: "There is a problem in today's A&R departments; it's a lack of confidence where the A&R person doesn't have a proper dialogue with the artist. [This has happened because] A&R scouts are often elevated to senior positions with a lack of experience after happening upon a talented artist".

Asked about how he planned to help turn round the fortunes of struggling EMI, he said "have more hits", though added that in the modern industry "it's not about record sales, it's more about revenue driving".

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SONYBMG LOSSES UP
SonyBMG lost $57 million in the quarter up to 30 Sep, which is quite an achievement. The increased losses came after sales slumped 10% from $851 million in the same quarter in 2007 to $762 million this year. An increase in restructuring costs of $4 million compared to the same quarter last year also had an impact on the bottom line figures.

Parent company Sony Corp fared better, posting profits of $200 million for the quarter, from sales of $19.9 billion, though that was also considerably down on the same quarter last year.

The latest report from Sony Corp also revealed a little bit more information about their deal to buy Bertelsmann out of the SonyBMG joint venture.

We knew that Bertelsmann had held on to some of their old BMG catalogue in order to launch its new previously reported BMG music licensing business. No details have been revealed on what catalogues were kept though Sony has said they accounted for under 1% of SonyBMG's revenue in 2007.

Meanwhile, Sony Corp also confirmed that Sony Music would continue to use manufacturing and distribution facilities owned by Bertelsmann's Arvato Digital Services for up to six more years despite no longer being in business with the German media firm.

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REAL - MUSIC SERVICES GROW, BUT SO DO LOSSES
More financial reports, and RealNetworks boasted a 10% year on year increase in music revenues for its third quarter, with said revenues up to $41.6 million. The company said it has 2 million subscribers to its various subscription-based music services, up 125,000 in the last quarter, while adding that the version of its Rhapsody music service that it is offering customers of US mobile firm Verizon Wireless has been "the most successful customer acquisition channel in Rhapsody's history".

Despite its successes in music, overall Real posted a net loss of $4.5 million on revenues of $152 million for the quarter, which compares to profits of $4.3 million last year.

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EUROPEAN PARLIAMENT TO HAVE PUBLIC MEETING ON COPYRIGHT EXTENSION
The European Parliament will next week have an open meeting on proposals to extend the recording copyright. As previously reported, the record industry is lobbying both at a UK and European level to have the recording copyright, currently 50 years, to be extended to 95 years to bring it in line with the American copyright. The IFPI's Frances Moore, Willemien Bax from European consumer rights body BEUC and Professor Lionel Bently from the University of Cambridge are among those expected to present to the hearing.

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WILL BEATLES ROCK BAND GAME BE ANNOUNCED TODAY?
MTV and Beatles company Apple Corps have scheduled a press conference for later today to announce "an exclusive agreement to develop a global music project", which most reckon will be confirmation that a Beatles themed version of the pretend-to-play game 'Rock Band', in which MTV has a stake, is to be released. The 'Guitar Hero' rival recently scored a deal with AC/DC for a similar themed version of the 'Rock Band' game.

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SHARKEY TO ADDRESS ISP CONFERENCE
UK Music boss Feargal Sharkey will speak at the annual conference of the Internet Service Providers' Association in London next month.

His booking is part of UK Music's attempts to negotiate a truce between the music industry and the internet providers after the former accused the latter of turning a blind eye to online piracy because it helped them flog more broadband subscriptions. As previously reported, negotiations between Sharkey and record label trade body the BPI and six ISPs have already led to a 'memorandum of understanding' between all parties which has seen the net firms send out warning letters to suspected file sharers, and will also see the launch of new licensed music services by the net providers.

It's not clear if Sharkey will use the ISPA event to make any new announcements regarding projects initiated by the MoU.

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IMEEM DO DEAL WITH BEGGARS
Music based social networking whatnot Imeem yesterday announced it had entered into a worldwide licensing and marketing partnership with the Beggars Group and Matador Records, which will see the addition of music and video from those labels and all their many imprints onto the Imeem service.

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BRAND RESIGNS OVER SACHS TALK
So, this story's got a lot bigger than I expected. Russell Brand yesterday resigned from his BBC Radio 2 show as the Corporation finally got round to properly responding to the tabloid outrage regarding an edition of the comedian's radio programme guest presented by Jonathan Ross. As you all no doubt know, Brand and Ross seemed to leave a number of lewd messages on the answer phone of actor Andrew Sachs, best known for his portrayal of Manuel in 'Fawlty Towers', after the actor became unavailable for a pre-arranged interview. The messages centred on the friendship between Brand and the actor's granddaughter Georgina Baillie, and started with Ross telling Sachs on his voicemail "He fucked your granddaughter!" and kind of went downhill from there.

With the Mail On Sunday leading with an outraged front page story on the phone messages last weekend, and with no official comment from the BBC or Ross, and a somewhat lacklustre albeit generally apologetic initial response from Brand, the story has grown and grown. With 27,000 complaints having been submitted by end of play yesterday (compared to the two submitted prior to the Mail On Sunday story), the BBC finally issued a statement announcing it had suspended both Brand and Ross, adding that it would investigate the incident and why the phone calls had been aired when that edition of Brand's programme had, in fact, been pre-recorded. With the tabloids calling for sackings, BBC top man Mark Thompson himself stepped in to confirm the suspensions.

Shortly afterwards Brand announced he was quitting his Radio 2 show, while Ross issued a public apology, saying he hadn't done previously because he planned to do so on his BBC1 show this week - a show that will now not air due to the suspension.

Confirming his resignation, Brand said: "I have apologised to Andrew Sachs for the rude messages I left on October 18 and he has graciously accepted. As I only do the radio show to make people laugh I've decided that given the subsequent coverage I will stop doing the show. I've loved working for the BBC and am very proud of the shows myself, Matt Morgan, Nic Philps, Mr Gee and Noel Gallagher have made and I apologise to all of them for damaging their careers - except Noel, whose band are doing quite well".

On the comments he left on Sach's answer phone, he continued: "I got a bit caught up in the moment and forgot that at the core of the rude comments and silly songs were the real feelings of a beloved and brilliant comic actor and a very sweet and big hearted young woman. Apologies are also owed to the loyal listeners of the show who enjoyed its shambolic spirit and anarchy and will be upset that it cannot continue. I take complete responsibility and offer nothing but love and contrition and I hope that now Jonathan and the BBC will endure less forensic wrath. Hare Krishna".

Ross issued his statement via his lawyers, and it read: "I am deeply sorry and greatly regret the upset and distress that my juvenile and thoughtless remarks on the Russell Brand show have caused. I have not issued a statement previously because it was my intention and desire to offer an apology to all those offended on my Friday night programme. However, it was a stupid error of judgement on my part and I offer a full apology".

Ross had reportedly already sent a personal apology to Sachs himself last weekend. Sachs said yesterday that he had received and accepted apologies from both Brand and Ross, adding on Brand's decision to quit Radio 2: "I respect his decision. I hope he moves forward, I really hope he does".

Baillie, who does seem to be making the most of the exposure this story is giving her, perhaps in a bid to plug her burlesque cabaret group, told the Sun she was "thrilled" the pair had been suspended over the phone calls and that "justice has been done".

It remains to be seen if the story dies down now Brand has quit, and how the BBC can investigate the incident in such a way that it can bring Ross back to the air without too much tabloid outrage. Also whether anyone in the upper echelons of Radio 2 will also have to go, given that the decision to air the controversial links was somewhat unwise. Both media regulator OfCom and the Metropolitan Police are also investigating (the latter because it is an offence to leave obscene voicemail messages) so the story may yet run and run.

Brand's positions at Channel 4 and the Guardian have not, as yet, been affected by all the outrage.

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TOTP CHRISTMAS SPECIAL CANCELLED
The BBC has axed the annual Top Of The Pops Christmas special this year, instead opting to broadcast an eight-part series of TOTP2, which hasn't been good since Johnny Walker stopped presenting it.

A BBC spokesman told The Sun: "Top Of The Pops was decommissioned in 2006 as it became clear that it no longer occupied the central role it once did. We said at that time the Christmas special would continue but would have to earn its place every year. This year it was felt that pop music would be better represented over Christmas by a special, eight-part series of TOTP2".

As previously reported, the BBC know nothing about pop music and shouldn't be trusted with a legendary pop brand like Top Of The Pops. And that's a fact.

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PAUL DIGGETT LEAVES ROOM THIRTEEN
Head of Press and PR at Room Thirteen, Paul Diggett, has left the music website after five years due to personal reasons.

Managing Director of the company Guy Powell told CMU: "Paul was a major part of Room Thirteen since he joined the team in mid-2004 and he was solely responsible for many of the achievements that Room Thirteen has had under its name during that time".

Press and PR enquiries at the site should now be directed to editor Jo Vallance.

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FIVE LASER STATIONS SOLD
Five stations owned by Laser Broadcasting have been sold following the struggling radio company's previously reported move into administration. Bath FM, Brunel FM, 3TR and two QuayWest stations have reportedly been bought by South West Radio Ltd. Four other Laser stations remain unsold.

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CLARKE RETURNS TO BREAKFAST AS XFM SCOTLAND REBRANDS
Xfm Scotland presenter and stand up comedian Des Clarke is returning to breakfast. Clarke previously presented the breakfast show on Beat 106, the Scottish youth station that was turned into Xfm Scotland in 2006. He will return to the peak time slot as Xfm Scotland is turned into Galaxy Scotland next month. Current Xfm weekend presenter Garry Spence will take over the drive time slot currently occupied by Clarke on Xfm.

Confirming his peak time presenters, Galaxy's Group Programme Director Mike Cass told reporters: "I am delighted that Des and Garry are joining Galaxy Scotland. I couldn't ask for more talented and enthusiastic presenters and I know that our new 20-something Scottish audience will love them! The whole Galaxy team is really excited about launching the station next week".

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BORRELL REVEALS SELF-IMPOSED ISOLATION
In a move some have been wishing he would make on a more permanent basis for years, Razorlight frontman Johnny Borrell has revealed that he went and lived alone on a remote Scottish island to over come "a crisis of faith" when writing the band's new album, 'Slipway Fires'.

Borrell told Xfm: "We just needed to get a bit of a break from it all and to reaffirm our faith. I was having a crisis of faith, with life, love, music, everything. I went to a little island in the Hebrides, just to get some space. I went up on my own in the middle of winter, to try and keep that appetite for music. And it just sort of came back".

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AMY IS FINE AND HARD AT WORK
Amy Winehouse has rubbished rumours that she is in a bad way and on the verge of losing her singing voice permanently through continued drug use, after being treated at The London Clinic at the weekend.

She has since posted a video on her website assuring fans that she is hard at work in the studio working on her third album. Her spokesman also denied the rumours yesterday, telling reporters: "Amy isn't on a deadline with her album. The last album's still selling. She's in and out of the studio working... the record company hasn't seen the final result yet. Amy's fine".

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GUY RITCHIE TO TELL ALL IN MOVIE?
Well, according to yesterday's reports, Madonna is trying to buy the children, and Guy Ritchie is not bending. Will she be able to buy his silence then? Seems unlikely, but would he make a film about it? Well, rumour has it that Ritchie is planning a tell-all movie about his rocky marriage to the pop star, and that Madonna is panicking about it.

A source claims: "Guy has said that most people wouldn't believe what went on in their marriage and it would make the most incredible dark, twisted sort of movie. His idea would be to give it a film noir treatment. It would be fascinating".

The source adds that Ritchie is aware that the singer will use her songwriting to complain about what went wrong, and wants to make sure he's not painted as the bad guy, telling Grazia magazine: "All of her songwriting material is incredibly personal. Given how open she is, Madonna is bound to talk about him in interviews too. I think Guy just doesn't want to lie down and hold his hands up to being the bad guy."

Which is probably fair enough. Though if Guy really wants us all to know about his past relationships, perhaps he should bid for Brand's slot on Radio 2.

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