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Top Stories
DJ AM dies
Noel quits Oasis
More Jacko
Spector fears prison move could kill him
Police may reconsider Rolling Stone's death
Simon Dee dies
Artist Deals
Polar Bear sign to Leaf
Release News
Bonnie re-records Total Eclipse Of The Heart
New Thom Yorke
Talks, Debates N Trade Fairs
Unconvention this weekend
Festival review: Green Man Festival
The Music Business
Industry types support Mandy's anti-P2P momentum
New boss for WEA US
The Digital Business
Apple to make music announcements next week
VEVO talking to telly firms
Nokia won't launch Comes With Music US until 2010
Chart Of The Day
Chart update
And finally...
Jay-Z says "enjoy" Blueprint leak
Hudson denies Rihanna rumours
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Japandroids formed in 2006 when Brian King and David Prowse's musical messing around started to take more serious shape. Originally planning to find a singer and become a trio, they gave up on that plan when the reality of having a lead singer proved too unpleasant, and settled for sharing vocal duties. Their debut album, 'Post-Nothing', has become a bit of an indie underground hit this year, and finally gets an official UK release on 7 Sep, via Polyvinyl. We spoke to David to ask our Same Six Questions.
Q1 How did you start out making music?
Well we started jamming together after Brian moved to Vancouver, when he finished university. That was about four years ago. It was pretty relaxed at first, just hanging out and playing whenever we felt like it. We started being more of a "real" band - playing shows and recording and taking it a bit more seriously - a year after that. Our obsession with playing steadily grew from there, up to the point where we were playing almost every day. It's been like that for a solid couple of years now.

Q2 What inspired your latest album?
The album came about pretty organically as a collection of songs that we had been working on for quite a while. I think from a lyrical standpoint it is definitely a product of where we are at in our lives as two guys in their mid 20s - falling in and out of love, growing up, hating your home town, etc. Musically, it was inspired and created by a lot of long nights in a sweaty little rehearsal studio in a basement in east Vancouver.

Q3 What process do you go through in creating a track?
There isn't really a magic formula for how we write. Basically, Brian will have an idea in his head and he'll come into the jamspace and play something and then we'll play it together a bunch of times until it becomes a Japandroids song. Sometimes he has a very specific idea and we figure out how to play it pretty quick. Other times he brings something in that is in very early stages of development and it grows and mutates over a long time to become a Japandroids song.

Q4 Which artists influence your work?
We both listen to a lot of music so our list of influences is pretty extensive. Hot Snakes, Jesus And Mary Chain, Hüsker Dü, The Constantines, Mclusky, (old) Weezer, Bruce Springsteen, The Replacements - I could list another fifty bands but I think you get the idea. We don't sound like any of those bands specifically. We're more just a mash up of all of them (and a whole bunch more), as played by two guys who don't really know what they're doing.

Q5 What would you say to someone experiencing your music for the first time?
It gets better. I promise.

Q6 What are your ambitions for your latest album, and for the future?
We're really excited to be touring all over North America right now, and we have plans to head to the UK in the fall, and hopefully the rest of Europe and elsewhere next year. Our ambition is world domination!

MORE>> and

Presumably named after the infamous Anton Lavey - founder of the Church of Satan - album, Satan Takes A Holiday are a Swedish three piece that make 'poppy' garage rock in the lineage of The Stooges and fellow Scandinavians The Hives. They haven't quite captured the energy of their live show on record yet, but 'Heartbreaker' will give you an inkling of it, being melodic, explosive and manifestly catchy, with lead singer Big Fred yelping all over like Steven Tyler. If they could just step off the 70s rock button at times and aim more for the intelligent punk of Mclusky then it's likely they could make something really special.


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Celebrity DJ and Travis Barker collaborator DJ AM, real name Adam Goldstein, died from a painkiller overdose in New York on Friday, just less than a year since he and his Blink 182 friend survived that Learjet crash which killed the two pilots and two of the DJ and rockers' colleagues.

Goldstein's body was found in his New York apartment in the early hours of Friday morning after friends, concerned that they were unable to contact the DJ, alerted police. With "drug paraphernalia", rumoured to be a crack pipe, found in the apartment, and no sign of foul play, it was announced almost immediately that it was believed Goldstein had died from an overdose. Subsequent reports allege eight OxyCotin painkiller pills were found in the DJ's stomach after death, with one additional pill still in his mouth.

There is speculation, of course, as to whether Goldstein's death was accidental or suicide. In the context of the 'eight OxyCotin' report, People magazine is claiming the latter, quoting one source as saying: "He wanted to die. He was going unconscious when he took the last one. He didn't even swallow it. He smoked a lot of crack, barricaded the doors and killed himself".

Goldstein, 36 when he died, had been known as a leading DJ on the US celebrity party circuit since his early twenties, his own celebrity status being boosted when he began dating Nicole Richie, and later Mandy Moore. Having been a member of hip hop-influenced rock band Crazy Town, Goldstein went on to collaborate with a number of other artists, most notably Barker. In the early days of his DJ career he became addicted to crack cocaine, but he subsequently managed to kick the addiction and distanced himself from those friends who moved in druggy circles.

However, it's reported that the DJ became drug dependent again while dealing with the trauma of the aforementioned plane crash, which left him with severe burns on his hands and head, as well as dealing with the deaths of his two friends and co-passengers. According to some reports, friends had staged an intervention just last week, and Goldstein had agreed to return to rehab this week coming.

Paying tribute to his friend, Barker issued a short statement via Twitter, saying: "I'll never forget everything we've been through and every time I play the drums I'll think of you. You were an amazing friend/DJ/human being". The recently reformed Blink 182 staged an on stage vigil for the DJ on Saturday night, and subsequently pulled out of a Monday gig to give Barker time to recover from the news of his friend's death.

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So, as you all surely know by now, it turns out that The Sun's Gordon Smart was right when he said Oasis was imploding, it's just no one had told Liam Gallagher. As previously reported, Liam responded to Smart's reports last week that Oasis may have already played their final gig by tweeting: "Reports in Smartarse's column about Oasis' last British gig ever - the kid's talking out his arse".

But this weekend Noel Gallagher announced he was quitting the band, saying his always acrimonious relationship with brother Liam had now reached a point at which playing in Oasis had become untenable. He expressed much relief at finally having made the decision to move on.

There are reports that Noel's big decision followed a heated argument between the brothers ahead of a scheduled set at the Rock En Seine festival in Paris on Friday. The band pulled out of the fest at the last minute, and Noel's announcement he was quitting the band followed shortly thereafter. According to reports Noel hit out at Liam for arriving at the event already drunk, leading to a firey argument in which Liam allegedly raged about his brother and his brother's family before throwing a guitar.

According to the NME, Noel subsequently told a friend: "They say never work with children and animals, no one mentioned fucking morons though, did they?" Having decided to quit the band, and noting Liam's involvement in the Pretty Green clothing line, he reportedly added: "I think all the modelling malarkey has gone to his head; it's a pleasure to give him time and space to work on his autumn/winter collection".

Whether Noel's announcement actually means Oasis is at an end remains to be seen, though many can't really see the band continuing in any credible form without its main creative force. Since Noel's announcement, Liam has reportedly jetted out with Oasis bassist Andy Bell and the two bandmate's respective other halves for a break in Italy. Meanwhile the brothers' mother, Peggy, has reportedly claimed the duo could as yet make up, telling reporters: "They've had fights before and got over it".

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The coroner investigating the death of Michael Jackson has formally declared the late king of pop's death as homicide, concluding that "injection by another" led to the singer's death. Jacko's death certificate has reportedly been amended to reflect that conclusion.

The coroner's report came as a surprise to no one, of course. With police continuing to investigate Jackson's addiction to prescription drugs, and the medics who fed that addiction, by last week everyone already seemed to agree that the administration of powerful prescription drugs - most notably the anaesthetic propofol - killed the pop star.

The coroner's papers do not specifically mention Jackson's personal doctor, Dr Conrad Murray, who administered the last concoction of drugs that killed the singer, though he has been under increasing scrutiny in recent weeks. Whether any action is taken will depend on whether the authorities believe Murray acted negligently in giving Jacko the drugs, and/or whether there was any fraudulent activity in the way the drugs were acquired in the first place.

As previously reported, some allege that Jackson was just one of a number of millionaire celebrities addicted to prescription drugs, and that Murray is just one of a number of LA-based doctors feeding those addictions, utilising a network of dodgy medics to acquire prescription medication under false names. Some wonder if the authorities are less interested in nailing Murray for Jackson's demise, and more interested in exposing the wider problem of celebrity prescription drug abuse, and the network of well paid medics who both service those celebrities' addictions, and cover up their dependencies. Time will tell I guess.

Elsewhere in Jacko news, German broadcaster RTL has admitted posting on the internet a fake video that seemingly showed the singer escaping from the coroner's van that took him from the hospital where he died. The YouTube clip was widely viewed and reported on, feeding, as it did, into the "Jackson lives" conspiracy theory.

RTL took the video down, and told the Associated Press: "We wanted to show how easily users can be manipulated on the internet with hoax videos. Therefore, we created this video of Michael Jackson being alive, even though everybody knows by now that he is dead - and the response was breathtaking".

Such spoof videos are quite common on the internet, of course, though it's not normally broadcasters as reputable as RTL who post them, which may be why this particular video was viewed with more intrigue than most.

And finally in Jacko news, more speculation about the parenthood of the late singer's three children, a game which has become very popular since Jackson's death. With continued assumptions that Jackson didn't provide the sperm for any of his kids, the latest rumour to hit the net was that child actor and Jacko friend Macauley Culkin was the biological father of the king of pop's youngest child Blanket.

The tabs quoted a source thus: "Really, Jackson idolised [Culkin] - that's why he asked Mack to donate sperm. Deep down, I think he always wished Mack was his son. Creating Blanket was the next best thing". But Culkin's publicist was quick to deny the rumours, telling reporters: ''The inquiries are too preposterous for us to even acknowledge". Though do note, that's not actually a denial. Look at me, fanning the rumour fire.

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I seem to remember Phil Spector asking to be moved to a different prison, he not appreciating being among the serious crims inside California's maximum security Corcoran Prison, where he has resided since being found guilty of the murder of Lana Clarkson earlier this year. But now that the authorities have decided to move the legendary producer he's moaning about that too.

According to reports Spector will be moved to the minimum-medium security Pleasant Valley jail in Coalinga, California, a move which the producer seems to think might just kill him because, while he'll be surrounded by less serious criminals at that facility, he's paranoid he'll contract the Valley Fever that is prevalent in that part of the word, and which has caused 16 inmates to die in the last four years.

The New York Post quote Spector's wife Rachelle thus: "They are sending Phil there to die. He is scared to death. When I saw him on Saturday, he was shaking - He's 70 years old and 130 pounds. We are trying to appeal over this, but he's been told he has no time. He's already been given his bus pass out of Corcoran".

Spector, of course, plans to appeal his murder conviction relating to the death of actress Clarkson at his Beverly Hills mansion in 2003.

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Sussex police have confirmed they will examine new documents relating to the death of Brian Jones, the Rolling Stones co-founder who drowned in 1969.

The official line on the guitarist's demise has always been that Jones drowned in the swimming pool at his East Sussex home after a drugs and drink binge - death by misadventure. But some friends and fans have always claimed foul play was involved.

In the mid-nineties two books claimed that he had been murdered by a builder who was renovating Jones' home, and who was at the property on the night of the Stone's death. Adding to that theory were allegations that said builder - Frank Thorogood - had admitted as much on his death bed in 1993. Terry Rawlings, in his book 'Who Killed Christopher Robin?', claimed Thorogood told Stones road manager Tom Keylock, "it was me that did Brian, I just finally snapped".

The new police investigation follows an interview given by Janet Lawson, one of the two other people at Jones' home on the night he died. She spoke to journalist Scott Jones last year, shortly before she herself died. She said she was at Jones' Sussex home in the first place because Keylock had expressed concern about rising tensions between Jones and Thorogood.

She told Journo Jones that Brian had been "fooling around" in the swimming pool with Thorogood earlier in the evening, but that immediately prior to the guitarist's death he was alone by the pool. She says that Brian asked her to go and find his asthma inhaler. Then: "I went to look for it by the pool, in the music room, the reception room and then the kitchen. Frank came in in a lather, his hands were shaking. He was in a terrible state. I thought the worst almost straight away and went to the pool to check. When I saw Brian on the bottom of the pool and was calling for help, Frank initially did nothing".

Perhaps more importantly, Lawson admitted that in her original police statement she didn't mention the tensions between Jones and Thorogood, nor that the builder initially ignored her cries for help. She also implied police encouraged her to exaggerate the extent to which Jones had been drinking on the evening he died, telling Journo Jones: "The police were trying to put words into my mouth".

Although the journalist also spoke to Bob Marshall, the now retired chief investigating officer of the case, who stressed he still believed the guitarist's death was "a tragic accident, a simple drowning", the current top guard at Sussex Police have reportedly said they will analyse Journo Jones' work to see if it throws sufficient doubt on the original investigation to justify another look into the circumstances behind the Rolling Stones' death.

The Rolling Stones have not commented on the latest stories around their one time bandmate's death. Jones had, of course, quit the band shortly before his death, amid intra-band politics between him and the increasingly dominant Mick Jagger and Keith Richards.

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Former radio DJ Simon Dee, perhaps most remembered as the first voice to be heard on seminal pirate radio station Radio Caroline back in 1964, has died of bone cancer. He was 74.

Dee, born Cyril Henty-Dodd, had a wide range of jobs before joining the original Radio Caroline, one of a number of off-shore radio stations set up to circumvent strict British radio licensing laws that prevented commercial pop stations from existing. It was Dee who made the first announcement on the station, before handing over to the outfit's other DJ Chris Moore.

Despite his early association with the radio pirates, Dee's career quickly developed with a move into the establishment, presenting for the BBC's Radio 1 forerunner The Light Programme. Once Radio 1 was launched in 1967 he was given a show there, and subsequently began his TV career, most notably the popular 'Dee Time' show for the Beeb.

For a few years in the late sixties Dee was one of the UK's big TV stars, but he fell out with the BBC over money, and then also with ITV company LWT, where rival talk show host David Frost disliked the similarities between their two shows. Frost was a part-owner of LWT, so was always going to be the victor in any intra-company presenter rivalries.

Despite playing an active role in the pro-pirate radio campaign at the start of the seventies, a campaign which led the way for the arrival of commercial radio, having fallen out with the BBC and ITV, Dee found his career going nowhere but downhill. After some years as a bus driver, it wasn't until the mid-eighties that Dee returned to the airwaves, presenting for both Radio Luxembourg and Reading radio station Radio 210, and later back on the BBC hosting Radio 2's 'Sounds Of The 60s'.

Paying tribute to Dee, former colleague Tony Blackburn wrote on his Facebook profile yesterday: "So sorry to hear that my old friend Simon Dee has died. I was out on Radio Caroline with him in the 60's and loved him. He was a brilliant broadcaster who threw it all away, sadly, because he couldn't handle fame. I appeared on his very successful 'Dee Time' Saturday night TV show, people forget how big he was. My memories of Simon will always be happy ones".

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Jazzy types Polar Bear, former Mercury Prize nominees of course, have signed to UK independent The Leaf Label. They will release the band's fourth album early next year. So that's something to look forward to. If you'd rather have some Polar Bear in your life before then, look out for one of the following live dates this Autumn:

25 Sep: Croydon, Clocktower
12 Oct: Electric Theatre, Guildford
25 Oct: The Glee Club, Birmingham
18 Nov: Broomhill Sculpture Park, Barnstaple
19 Nov: The Phoenix, Exeter
20 Nov: Jazz Cafe, London
24 Nov: Band On The Wall, Manchester
27 Nov: Howard Assembly Room, Leeds
28 Nov: De La Warr Pavilion, Bexhill-On-Sea
29 Nov: Colston Hall, Bristol

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Bonnie Tyler has recorded a new version of her seminal hit 'Total Eclipse Of The Heart' with a Welsh choir called Only Men Aloud, who apparently won some BBC competition called 'Last Choir Standing'.

It seems Tyler sang a version of the song with the choir at an event in Cardiff earlier in the year, and was so impressed with how it turned out that she asked them if they'd record a version of the track with her. And the new version seemingly has the seal of approval of Jim Steinman, who wrote the song.

Look, here's what Bonnie has to say: "I'm delighted with this version of 'Total Eclipse' and it is wonderful to be working with such a great choir as Only Men Aloud. I am so happy that the legendary Jim Steinman, who wrote this beautiful song, has told me how much he adores this recording of it".

The new version of the song will be available for you all to enjoy on 12 Oct.

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Thom Yorke will reportedly release two new tracks later this month - 'Apart By Horses' and 'The Hollow Earth'. They will appear on a limited edition double a-side 12". So don't go saying we didn't tell you.

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Grass roots music convention Unconvention will take place in Swansea this weekend - and lined up to speak are Huw Stephens (Radio 1), Hamish MacBain (NME), Youth (Killing Joke/KLF/Fireman), Huw Williams (Welsh Legend), Gareth Main (Bearded), Chris Healings (Hybrid), Andrew Dubber (New Music Strategies), Ruth Daniel (Fat Northerner Records), John Rostron (Swn) and Carl Morris (Sleeveface). For more details go check

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FESTIVAL REVIEW: Green Man Festival
It's my second year in a row at Green Man, the festival deep in the heart of Wales that provides a chilled, family friendly experience in a beautiful location with a range of music to cover most bases.

We arrived on Thursday night to a much larger camping area than last year and there were certainly more people about. The main stage is backed with the most gorgeous view of the Black Mountains, and sitting on the bank overlooking the stage is a treat, although it has much more of an impact after dark. Other changes to the site this year saw the Folkey Dokey tent combined into the Far Out tent to create a second stage, which then changed after hours into a dance tent, something that was definitely missing last year. The new comedy and literature tents were also a good addition - particularly by providing chairs - and the cinema tent was one of the best I've seen at a festival. The final two stages were provided by the Chai Wallahs crew and, in an area previously used for the kids' field (which was now moved to the campsite) the Green Man Pub, which provided a smaller relaxed stage.

Green Man competition winners We Aeronaughts opened festivities on the main stage on Friday morning and produced a varied, entertaining set with good banter. The weather cleared up as the day went on, though Gang Gang Dance scared us off to the aforementioned Far Out tent where Errors put on a very good show, starting what became a theme of the weekend - that the Far Out tent provided a much better atmosphere during the day than the Main Stage.

British Sea Power were a little underwhelming, although made up for it later by sound tracking 'Man Of Arran' in the cinema tent. I wonder if BSP should concentrate more on this more avant-garde side to their performance, because the indie set they gave lacked a certain imagination. Four Tet started well but oddly didn't use the video screens in the Far Out tent, meaning the set lacked decent visuals - dry ice and luminous hula hoops are OK but not exactly mind-blowing. He almost dropped into cheesy house at one point and shortly after we left.

Headlining the main stage were Animal Collective, and I will risk the ire of music snobs everywhere to categorically say - I don't get it. I didn't get the album and I certainly didn't get it live, in fact even the hardcore Collective fans in my group found it hard to get enthusiastic about a limp, repetitive and odd act that, as far as I could see, neither got the pulses racing or the cerebral cortex firing. Josie Long was playing in the comedy tent so we went and saw a bit of her instead.

Saturday saw a good main stage line up with The Aliens, Noah And The Whale, Grizzly Bear, Bon Iver and Jarvis. Bon Iver was the highlight of the weekend for me, by some distance, transporting the album, with its acoustic subtleties, to the big stage with no sense of trouble. 'Re:Stacks' was beautiful and the whole set was a wonderful sounding selection of lovely.

The Aliens never quite recreated their recorded sound, while Noah And The Whale seemingly decided to play their new album and, despite some nice moments, left me feeling disappointed that they hadn't played their big ones. Jarvis also played a set heavy on second album tunes but was his usual entertaining self, throwing shapes and telling stories.

Sunday saw Camera Obscura play a poppy set as the news came through that England had won the Ashes, so they couldn't really go far wrong. Not making mention of that, although being very chatty in-between their instrumental numbers, Aussies Dirty Three showed a great sense of humour not normally associated with this sort of music, before Wilco finished up with a solid set of old and new tunes. IM

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The top man of record label trade body the BPI and the boss of entertainment retail organisation ERA have both added their signatures to an open letter published in The Times yesterday supporting the government's recent announcement that it will take a more hardline approach to combat file-sharing, and introduce measures to force ISPs to take action against persistent file-sharers sooner rather than later.

As previously reported, Peter Mandelson and friends are moving to bring forward anti-P2P activity proposed in the government's 'Digital Britain' report, but originally planned as something to consider in two or three years time rather than now. Geoff Taylor and Kim Bayley joined with top people from organisations like the Publishers' Association and the Premier League to encourage Mandy et al to keep up the new momentum on P2P, despite opposition for the internet service providers and some consumer groups.

The open letter notes: "We agree that any measures to tackle online copyright infringement must be fair, proportionate, effect and include an appeals mechanism. We are committed to working with government and internet service providers to ensure this happens".

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Warner Music yesterday announced the promotion of Mike Jbara to the role of President and CEO of WEA, the major's US-based sales and retail arm. He succeeds John Esposito, who has in turn been named President of a new Warner division, Warner Nashville.

Jbara will oversee all of WEA's day-to-day operations, reporting to Warner SVP Roger Gold, who said of Jbara's promotion: "Over the years Mike has proven himself not only as an effective operator but also an innovator who understands new business models and who has played a key leadership role in defining those models and applying the new technologies that make them possible. To have a chief executive who understands the rapidly changing role of a music company in today's environment is a terrific asset for WEA and we are happy to have Mike here to lead the company going forward".

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Apple is holding an invite-only briefing at The Brewery in London next week with a number of music-related announcements expected. It's the same day that a load of new Beatles things hit the market - including the much hyped 'Rock Star' game and EMI's release of the band's remastered catalogue on CD - which has led to speculation that the big announcement will be the long anticipated arrival of the Fab Four on the Apple download platform. But Music Week reckons that a new line of iPods and that previously reported new interactive-album product are more likely to be the subject of the press conference. Spoil sports.

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With US-based telly-on-demand service Hulu, owned by NBC Universal and News Corp, adding music services, word today that the music business' efforts to launch their own on-demand platform, VEVO, is considering including TV shows in the mix.

As much previously reported, VEVO is an attempt by Universal Music to launch its own YouTube-style video-on-demand platform, which would, as it happens, be powered by YouTube. The theory is that by being an official music video platform Universal would be able to charge higher advertising rates than those charged by user-generated content platforms like YouTube. But to make it work Universal reckon they need other content owners on board. Music -wise Sony Music are already involved, and talks are ongoing with EMI and Warner.

But now Universal are reportedly talking to CBS Corp and NBC about them providing content for VEVO as well, some existing content, some possibly new commissions provided especially for the music service. It's thought VEVO will still be primarily music biased, and that most talk with the telly firms is related to music-based programming.

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Nokia has reportedly delayed the launch of its slightly rubbish Comes With Music service in the US until next year.

The all-you-can-eat but DRM-heavy download service launched in the UK last Autumn, and has since rolled out in a number of other territories around the world. Forbes magazine say that an American launch had been planned for 2009, but that the service will now not reach there until next year. Though a spokesman for the phone maker was rather vague about the company's US ambitions for Comes With Music, telling Reuters: "We've actually not given a firm time-frame yet for when it will be launched in North America. Our priority is on creating and delivering an optimal experience as we roll this service out in each market".

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Oh yeah, Sunday might seem like a distant memory now, but that doesn't mean it's any less important to examine the latest changes in the single and album charts, does it? Er, I'm not sure. Let's do it anyway though. It might be fun.

There's a new number one single, which is nice. At the moment, everyone is swapping stories about what they did on holiday, and Dizzee Rascal is no exception. You'd think everyone would be bored of hearing holiday stories by now, but obviously not in rap form. I'm sure if everyone started rapping about what they got up to during their week away, Dizzee would struggle to get to number one, Calvin Harris production or not.

Also new in the top ten this week are Biffy Clyro with 'That Golden Rule', the first single from their fifth album, 'Only Revolutions', which is due out in November. Further down, there's another new entry from Nigerian pop star Nneka at 23, with 'Heartbeat', and TI just slips in right before the end with 'Remember Me' at 34. A couple of former number ones also re-entered the chart this week, with Kings Of Leon's ode to sexy pirates, 'Sex On Fire', back in the top 40 at 33, and Calvin Harris' 'I'm Not Alone' at 40.

Over in the album chart, number one and number two are both new entries. How exciting. Right up at the very top are Arctic Monkeys with their third album, 'Humbug'. I like that album mainly because it contains the line, "What came first, the chicken or the dickhead?" And, yes, I am aware that's a rubbish lyric. It's the fact that it's so prominent, arguably the most audible line on the whole album, and yet so rubbish that makes me like it all the more. I'm not sure it's enough to keep the album at the top for a second week, though. And the word of mouth disappointment that seems to be going around probably won't help, either. Although the songs did come alive during their Reading (and also, I would imagine, Leeds) performance at the weekend. So maybe that will help.

Anyway, I've said too much about the Arctic Monkeys now. Let's move on the number two, David Guetta, with his new album, 'One Love'. I'm not sure if that album mentions chickens or dickheads at any point.

There are four other new entries further down the chart. Neil Diamond goes in at 14 with his live album 'Hot August Night/NYC', Athlete are at 18 with 'Black Swan', and 'The Very Best Of Vera Lynn' is entertaining troops everywhere at 20. Bringing up the rear is the woman in charge of the internet, Imogen Heap, who goes in at 39 with 'Ellipse'.

The charts are created from a grain of sand and then worshiped as a new god (to whom they sacrifice the previous week's god) by The Official Charts Company.

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See people, this is how you respond when someone sneaks your new album onto the internet ahead of its official release.

Asked about his new album 'The Blueprint 3' leaking onto the net, Jay-Z told MTV: "I may be the most bootlegged artist in history. It's a preview. I'm excited for people to hear the album. I'm very proud of the work I've done, so enjoy it. My pager is actually ringing right now, so people are probably calling me and telling me they pretty much like it. I can tell by the way my pager rings if a song is good or not. It's really going crazy right now".

"Hi Jay-Z, I pretty much like your new album" doesn't actually seem like that positive a review.

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Mr Hudson, he of and now without The Library, has dismissed rumours he's romantically involved with Rihanna. Said rumours seem to stem from the pair going to the cinema together. Hudson, of course, is now a darling of the US R&B scene following his tie-up with Kanye West. Rihanna, of course, is on the look out for a new wife-beater following her split from Chris Brown earlier this year.

Commenting on the Rihanna rumours, Hudson told the New York Daily News that while he had been to the cinema with the R&B popstress, he's just too darn busy to be getting all romantic with anyone. He said: "We went to the movies. She's single, I'm single. I could say to a girl, 'We're gonna do something this weekend', and at the last minute I'll be like, 'Lil Wayne wants me to play trombone on his new track and I have to go do that'".

Brilliant, I'm going to start using that as an excuse whenever I have to cancel an appointment.

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