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CMU Info
Top Stories
EMI score court win in promo CD VAT dispute
Euro-ruling on music mail-order VAT loophole could come this autumn
In The Pop Courts
Ministry's lawyers to request file-sharer info as ACS:Law data leak shambles rumbles on
In The Pop Hospital
Bloc Party man attacked by lion
Awards & Contests
DMAs presented
Charts, Stats & Polls
REM make men cry
Release News
Take That announce album title and that
Andy C announces Nightlife 5
Gigs & Tours News
Kings Of Leon to play secret Radio 1 gig
Chrome Hoof UK tour dates
Twisted licks Pakistan fundraiser this Sunday
Festival News
Eavis changes mind about retirement
Album review: Chromeo - Business Casual (Back Yard Recordings)
The Music Business
Justin Bieber earning $300,000 per show
The Digital Business
Virgin to prioritise non-P2P web traffic
YouTube complete deal with SACEM
VEVO making millions in ad revenues
Spotify still planning 2010 launch in US
And finally...
Jack Dee makes Jedward cry. Or maybe he doesn't. Who knows? Not me

How it got to be October so soon is anyone's guess. And how it got to be Friday so soon is a bit of a mystery, too. But there you have it. In The City is now getting very close, and don't forget Team CMU will be out in force there this year running workshops as part of the educational Hive programme, and chairing, participating in and reporting on the main panels. The ITC crew also announced their film and unsigned line up this week, so it's definitely worth checking out www.inthecity.co.uk for the lowdown. Meanwhile, here are the five big stories from the music biz this week:

01: ACS:Law leaked a load of personal data from its file-sharer files. The London legal firm accidentally leaked the private details of thousands of alleged file-sharers, and in many cases the porn content they were accused of sharing, after their servers were attacked by pro-file-sharing groups. The UK's top data protection chief said the lawyers could be fined up to half a million for the breach. Although ACS doesn't represent any major music firms, its competitor Gallant MacMillan is likely to be more closely scrutinised as it asks the courts next week to force PlusNet to hand over the identities of people accused of illegally sharing music owned by the Ministry Of Sound record label. CMU reports | A great Arts Technica exposé on ACS

02: Barry Diller announced he was stepping down as Live Nation Chairman. There have been rumours of tensions between Diller and the two top execs at the flagging live music conglom, Irving Azoff and Michael Rapino. Though both Diller and Azoff insist the Chairman always intended to step down once the merger of Live Nation and Ticketmaster was fully completed. Diller will stay on until a replacement is found. CMU reports | Telegraph report

03: Everyone was talking about Mulve, a new very illegal all-you-can-eat MP3 download service. Really Mulve was the talk of the town late last week, though chatter continued on Monday. People who download the Mulve app can access millions of free MP3s hosted on servers based in a secret location, probably in Russia. Because it's not a P2P network, use of Mulve would not be picked up by many of the record industry's piracy monitoring systems. Lawsuits will presumably follow. CMU report

04: VEVO said it was doing very well and might launch a TV channel. According to boss man Rio Caraeff, speaking at a TechCrunch conference, the Universal and Sony owned music video service is making millions in ad revenues, though is yet to go into profit. Negotiations are underway to take VEVO to certain on-demand TV platforms, with some talk - possibly not so serious - about eventually launching an MTV-style VEVO telly channel. CMU reports | New York Post report

05: The BBC's pop boss said a mainstream music TV show was being considered. Andy Parfitt was talking to the Broadcasting Press Guild and said that, while a revival of 'Top Of The Pops' was out of the question, he recognised there perhaps should be a big prime time music show on BBC television, and said his colleague Jan Younghusband was giving that proposal some consideration. However, he said the suggestion BBC TV had now completely shunned music programming was "complete rot" pleading the 'Later With Jools Holland' defence. CMU report | Guardian report

And that's your lot people. Enjoy that weekend thing now won't you, and join us next week as we mark the 70th birthday of that all important Merseyside-born icon whose impact on the British musical landscape can never be overestimated. Yes, my Mum. Happy Birthday for Monday Mrs Margaret Cooke.

Chris Cooke
Business Editor, CMU
VIGSY'S CLUB TIP: The Jump Off at Club Mantra & Tao
After all the Tip's recent globetrotting, we land squarely with a bang in Hertfordshire and a new night coming to the town of Ware - The Jump Off at Club Mantra & Tao. The night will feature a rotating line-up of DJs each week, including So Solid's Lisa Maffia & Romeo, DJ Luck & MC Neat, MC Kie, Pioneer, and Mantra & Tao resident DJ D'Loose with Preshus.

It's a wholesome home county affair, blending house, funky garage and bashment with R&B and hip hop over two floors. Dress code is smart and trendy dress, with 'clean' trainers all the way, and selected booze is only £2 all night.

Friday 1 Oct, 9pm-2am, Club Mantra & Tao, Anwell End, Ware, Herts, SG12 9HQ, £5 adv (with a free shot), £6 before 11pm, £8 after, more info from www.clubmantra.co.uk

Domino Recordings, home to some of the most exciting music around today, is seeking an International Promotions Manager. The successful candidate would be responsible for all aspects of international promotion for the label.

This would include press, radio, TV and on-line - working closely with our international partners. At least two years experience working with artists, record labels, managers, agents and a general knowledge about international media is absolutely required.

The position is based in our London office. Applicants should send an e-mail including their CV and cover letter to: internationalpromotions@dominorecordco.com. Note - the cover letter needs to include a personal statement about your understanding of Domino and Domino artists.

Closing date 15 Oct.
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Hey, some good news for the guys and gals at EMI, which is nice, they could do with some of that. The London-based major music firm has won an action in the European Court Of Justice with regards the payment of VAT on promo CDs.

The UK's tax authorities have long since applied a rule that, while companies can provide one sample copy of a product to another company without paying the VAT on that free item, any more freebies handed to the same company do incur a VAT charge.

This is a pain for record companies distributing promo CDs to DJs and journalists because if they send a copy to every DJ at Radio 1 only one of those CDs is VAT free. Worse still, if the label uses a plugging agency, as most do, VAT is payable on all but one of the CDs given to the PR firm, even though they then pass those CDs on to individual DJs and journalists at a plethora of media.

EMI argued that this by-the-letter application of the VAT rules unfairly ignored the way its industry worked. The one-free-promo-product rule should apply to individuals rather than companies, it argued, and PR agents who receive multiple copies to pass on to third parties should be excluded. The Inland Revenue did not concur, so EMI took the tax men to the European courts, who have jurisdiction over such disputes. And the Euro-judges have just ruled in the record company's favour.

The ruling means EMI can claim back VAT paid on promo CDs for the last four years, and possibly have a nice little party with the proceeds. Or at least buy owner Guy Hands a nice new jumper for his upcoming court battle with Citigroup. The judgement will also benefit many other companies, and not just music firms, which have paid VAT on promotional samples or even corporate gifts, which also fall under this VAT rule.

Deloitte's chief tax dude Giles Salmond told the Telegraph: "This is a significant decision from the ECJ and will impact many businesses both in the UK and across the EU which distribute samples or gifts of small value. Businesses which have accounted for VAT, or not reclaimed the appropriate VAT on samples or business gifts, should consider submitting retrospective claims as soon as possible, if they have not already done so".

Speaking for the evil tax men, who have been deviously screwing all this extra VAT out of poor record companies for all these years, and then pissing away all that cash on silly things like schools and hospitals, a spokesman for HM Revenue & Customs said: "This judgment does not mean that all the UK's legislation on samples and business gifts is wrong. In principle they are relieved from VAT, and the ECJ has not ruled against restricting the scope of that relief where appropriate. We will need to carefully consider the judgment and determine the extent to which UK legislation may require amending".

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The latest issue of entertainment retail publication Cue Magazine includes an in-depth article on the much previously reported Channel Islands VAT loophole which enables the likes of Amazon, HMV, Play.com and The Hut to sell CDs via mail-order without paying any sales tax, meaning they can easily undercut any mainland retailer which has to add a 17.5% (20% from January) tax onto its products.

As much previously reported, companies selling goods that cost £18 or less from a Channel Islands base to customers in the UK do not have to pay VAT on the sale. The loophole exists because of the Channel Islands' quirky status, outside the UK and European Union, but under the British crown and within the European Community customs zone.

The loophole has been particularly utilised by mail-order enterprises which sell products that usually retail below £18, and especially the mail-order CD business. Most of the bigger online CD sellers base their actual mail-order operations on Jersey or Guernsey (or, more often these days, outsource the fulfilment to another company based there), which means they don't have to charge VAT on CDs sold.

CDs get shipped over to the islands in bulk from the UK, and are then mailed back to the mainland one by one. The extra logistical costs doing that causes are more than compensated for by the competitive advantage not having to pay VAT gives those retailers who use the loophole.

Aside from the environmental impact of all that extra shipping of CDs, smaller independent retailers argue the VAT system - when employed in this way - gives bigger mail-order operations an unfair advantage, because they can undercut the indies retail price while also enjoying a bigger profit margin.

Some argue this VAT loophole has played a part in the well documented demise of the independent music retail sector in the UK, because independent record stores couldn't take advantage of the opportunities the internet offered for them to expand their mail-order operations, because they could never compete on price with the bigger players.

When indie retailers started to complain about the loophole, both the UK and Jersey governments called for something to be done, though neither did so. Labour Finance Minister Stephen Timms then formally denied that the Play.coms and HMVs of this world were putting their mail-order operations on the Channel Islands simply to benefit from the loophole, seemingly under the impression they went their for the fresh air.

But the Cue article includes quotes from both The Hut Group's founder and an HMV annual report that admit they base their respective operations on the Channel Islands because of the benefits of the VAT relief. Meanwhile, another unnamed offshore retailer argues that - while the VAT loophole is clearly why so many big mail-order ventures are based in the Channel Islands - because all the big players now benefit from the same tax dodge, there aren't any anti-competition issues. Which, of course, ignores the indies and the tax income lost to the UK.

As previously reported, a complaint has been made to the European Union's tax commissioner about the loophole in a bid to force the UK government to act. Although that commissioner wouldn't comment on the complaint or the timescales of his office's consideration of it, he hinted to Cue that a decision could be made within the year.

If it were to rule in the complainant's favour, says Richard Murphy of Tax Research UK: "This could have a fundamental impact on those companies whose retail base is heavily dependant on offshore activities. [The tax relief] is the only reason goods are shipped through the Channel Island. These companies would vanish [from the Channel Islands] if VAT relief was ended".

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In what is best described as unfortunate timing, the Ministry Of Sound's legal men Gallant MacMillan will reportedly go to court next week to ask a judge to force PlusNet to hand over the names and addresses of a bunch of web users who they reckon have been illegally sharing the dance firm's music online.

Ministry announced earlier this year that it was breaking rank with most other UK record labels, and the industry's trade body BPI, by taking legal action directly against individual music fans who have infringed their copyrights online. As a general rule the British record industry has not pursued such action since 2006, instead lobbying for the three-strikes initiative.

Although sue-the-fans litigation has always be controversial, the court hearings where content owners request ISPs be forced to reveal the identities of people using IP addresses where file-sharing has allegedly been spotted have generally gone by unnoticed. But Gallant MacMillan will be asking for the identities of PlusNet customers just a week after their rivals ACS:Law spilled several barrels of private information about the file-sharers they have targeted onto the internet.

Now, of course, just because ACS:Law operated a shambles of a data protection system, that's no reason to suggest Gallant MacMillan would ever be so stupid as to publish the private data of thousands of web users. But, with PlusNet customers among some of those affected by the ACS shambles, the pressure will be on for the net firm to refuse to hand over any customer data. In the eyes of the law it won't really have any choice, but it makes this particular stage one file-sharing court hearing more interesting than most.

Doing its best to ensure the pressure is, indeed, piled on PlusNet to not comply with Gallant MacMillan's demands, New York-based tech investment website Wired VC calls on UK web users to attend the hearing at the London High Court. It also provides a bunch of tips for those accused of file-sharing by Ministry's lawyers to circumvent the system - a system which is, in the main, based on the principle that most of those targeted will settle out of court for a few hundred quid without having the case against them properly presented before a judge. You can read their rant here:


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Bloc Party guitarist Russell Lissack was rushed to hospital in South Africa recently after he was bitten by a lion.

Lissack was in the country with Ash, with whom he is currently performing while Bloc Party are on hiatus. Spinner reports that the guitarist was playing with a lion cub at a wild animal sanctuary when it bit his hand, drawing blood. The guitar man required a tetanus shot.

Apologies, by the way, if our headline led you to believe Russell was mauled by the king of the jungle, rather than nipped by one of his kids. But if its excitement you want, a spokesperson for Ash also revealed that hours after being treated, the hospital Lissack was taken to was sealed off after two men died of a mystery virus, and on the way back to their hotel from the hospital, the band were involved in a car crash.

I think the lesson to be learned here is that you should never go abroad. Instead, we should all stay at home listening to this playlist Russell made for us earlier this year: www.theCMUwebsite.com/playlists/russelllissack.html

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British Telecom and awards, hey. If only there was an award for Most Incompetent Company In The History Of All Human Civilisation, BT would win that no contest. Or, perhaps, one for Rudest Call Centre Staff Who Don't Have The Brains To Realise That Just Because They Are Reading A Script Full Of Polite Words It Doesn't Mean They Are Being Polite When They Adopt A Narky Tone And Put The Phone Down On You Award. That one would be a dead cert for BT also.

Or may be the Grand Prize For Signing You Up For A Two Year Contract For A Product You Specifically Said You Didn't Want And Without Telling You And Then Refusing To Call You Back To Discuss The Matter Until You Call The Corporate Press Office And Rant At A PR Guy. They'd get that too. I had a bit of a run-in with BT earlier this year, can you tell?

Anyway, the BT Digital Music Awards isn't about the terrible phone firm winning awards, it is dishing them out here. In a futile bid to convince us all that the company is staffed by a bunch of cool, sexy digital dudes with an ear for a beat, and not a load of money-grabbing arseholes exploiting a virtual monopoly to force us all to buy their second-rate over-priced services while single-handedly slowing down Britain's digital development. Did I mention the run-in with BT?

Anyway, DMAs, yes, they were presented yesterday to these people:

Best Female Artist: Cheryl Cole
Best Male Artist: Robbie Williams
Best Group: JLS
Best International Artist Or Group: Lady Gaga
Best Independent Artist Or Group: Dizzee Rascal
Best Newcomer: Tinie Tempah
Breakthrough Artist Of The Year: Professor Green
Artist Of The Year: Gorillaz

Best Song: Cheryl Cole - Fight For This Love
Best Video: JLS - Everybody in Love

Best Place To Discover Music: BBC Introducing
Best Place To Hear Music: Youtube
Best Place To Buy Music: iTunes

Best Event: Nokia presents Rihanna Live
Best Music App: Pendulum Witchcraft Experiment Facebook app
Best Innovation or Gadget: Songkick

Best Artist Promotion: Gorillaz 'Escape to Plastic Beach' games
Best Official Site: muse.mu
Best Fan Site: muselive.com
Best Blog: The Music Fix
Best Radio Show Or Podcast: Adam Buxton's Big Mixtape

PS: I should stress most BT engineers are brilliant, it's a shame they are all employed by idiots and represented by clueless monotone drones.

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REM's 'Everybody Hurts' has topped a poll of the songs most likely to make a grown man cry, whereas the Simon Cowell-organised celebrity cover version of the same song leads a poll of the tracks most likely to make a grown man bang his head against a brick wall until it bleeds.

It's PRS For Music which has compiled this list having surveyed 1700 wussy men, because obviously no song would make a real man cry. Well, except maybe 'You'll Never Walk Alone' in the right context. Anyway, coming up the ten biggest tear jerkers, but first a quote from PRS chief Ellis Rich.

Ellis: "From this chart, it is clear that a well-written tear-jerker is one that people can relate to and empathise with. It is this lyrical connection that can reach deep down emotionally and move even the strongest of men".

1. REM - Everybody Hurts
2. Eric Clapton - Tears In Heaven
3. Leonard Cohen - Hallelujah
4. Sinead O'Connor - Nothing Compares 2 U
5. U2 - With Or Without You
6. The Verve - The Drugs Don't Work
7. Elton John - Candle In The Wind
8. Bruce Springsteen - Streets Of Philadelphia
9. Todd Duncan - Unchained Melody
10. Robbie Williams - Angels

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Take That's new album, their first to feature Robbie Williams in, oh, ages, will be called 'Progress' and will be released on 22 Nov. Produced by Stuart Price, the first single from the album will be 'The Flood', and will hit stores on 14 Nov.

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Generally considered to be the finest drum n bass DJ around these days, Ram Records head Andy C has announced that he will release the fifth volume of his 'Nightlife' compilation series next week. The two disc set will feature tracks by more than 60 artists, including Noisia, Sub Focus, Chase & Status, Rusko, Ed Rush & Optical and more.

Tomorrow night, the ever popular Ram Records night will take place at Fabric, featuring a three hour set from Andy C himself, as well as turns on the decks from the likes of Sub Focus, Nero, Redlight, Loadstar and others.

Meanwhile, let's all watch this trailer for the upcoming documentary about Andy C and RAM Records: youtu.be/83_Z4ZvBR3g

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Kings Of Leon will play a secret gig for Radio 1 next month. Literally no one knows about this. The performance will be broadcast on Zane Lowe's show on 28 Oct.

Free tickets are available from here: www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/events/kingsofleon/. The band's new album, 'Come Around Sundown', is due out on 18 Oct.

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Everyone's favourite prog-metal-electro-funk-jazz-disco-chamber-music ten-piece Chrome Hoof have announced some UK tour dates, kicking off in London supporting Does It Offend You, Yeah? on 21 Oct.

Asked how the band reached their sound, keyboard player Emmett Evelin told CMU earlier this year: "We cheat by channelling musicians from the 22nd century, stealing their ideas before they get a chance to make use of them. We've condemned many artists to a future lifetime of obscurity this way, but many of those bands, like Magnesium Sneeze and Fognut, only had one good idea anyway".

Tour dates:

21 Oct: London, The Garage (supporting Does It Offend You, Yeah?)
23 Oct: Bristol, The Fleece
24 Oct: Birmingham, Custard Factory
27 Oct: Manchester, Band On The Wall
28 Oct: Coventry, Taylor John's House
29 Oct: Leeds, The Wardrobe
30 Oct: Norwich, Arts Centre
31 Oct: Brighton, The Dome

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This Sunday, London promoters Twisted Licks have organised a fundraiser for Unicef's Pakistan Flood Appeal at The Old Queen's Head in Islington. Entry will be free, and once inside you'll be met by a whole range of book, record, cake and merchandise stalls with auctions, treasure hunts, raffles and games.

Prizes on offer include tickets to some of next year's best festivals, including Lovebox, Standon Calling, The Great Escape, various ATP events and more. Basically, it's worth your while going.

Oh, and there's loads of great music, too. Here's the line-up: The Laurel Collective, Dry The River, The Brute Chorus, Sound Of Rum, Stephen Ellis, Psychologist, Brendan Rogers, RightClickSaveAs and Roz & Ali, plus DJ sets from Matty White Heat, James Delay and Bright Light Bright Light.

The Facebook page for the event is here: www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=113848455340588

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Michael Eavis has gone back on a previous statement in which he said he'd retire from the day-to-day running of the Glastonbury Festival after next year's event, saying that he now reckons he's got another decade at the helm in him yet. He turns 75 next year.

Eavis told The Guardian in June last year that 2011 would be the last time he would run the festival, handing over full control to his daughter Emily, adding the he had already moved out of the farm house around which it is based: "I'm living on top of the hill now, away from the farm. So [Emily's] taking over the house, which is nice. A new generation of Eavises can live here. [But] I still feel I have an important role to play. Even if I go I'll worry about the drains, the rubbish, the recycling. There will be a gradual process of her and Nick taking it over".

However, this week he told the BBC: "Maybe I've got another ten years possibly left in me. I've got no signs of giving up at the moment but I certainly need all the help I can get. Emily will be in a good place to take the show on eventually".

He conceded that "there has to be a time" when he does retire from work on the festival, but at the moment he's "feeling cock-a-hoop".

Tickets for next year's festival go on sale on Sunday at 9am. Registration to be able to buy tickets has now closed.

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ALBUM REVIEW: Chromeo - Business Casual (Back Yard Recordings)
It's tempting to simply cut and paste my review of Chromeo's cracking previous album, 2007's 'Fancy Footwork', given that the band have effectively turned in a (slightly inferior) carbon copy of said album here.

Admittedly, the Montreal duo struck on a winning formula last time round, so you can see why they've felt compelled (or, you know, pressurised by The Man) to repeat it. And as 'Hot Mess' kicks in, it's hard not to be swayed by the smooth funk and sassy electro pop on show, especially when it's still done as effortlessly as this.

They don't really break any new ground though (aside from, er, singing one song in French which is a nice enough touch if hardly revolutionary), and you can't quite shake the feeling that, whilst this is an enjoyable listen in its own right, this is an album that doesn't really need to exist. MS

Physical release: 27 Sep
Press contact: Bang On

Buy from iTunes
Buy from Amazon

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According to The Smoking Gun, which has been pawing over the squeaky singer's contracts, Justin Bieber now earns around $300,000 for every live show he plays. There's not really anything more to say about this, I just wanted to share this upsetting news with you.

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Virgin Media is applying new traffic rules to its broadband network meaning that priority will be given to non-P2P file-sharing usage, so that streaming services like Spotify and download services like iTunes will have priority in terms of bandwidth at busy times to the detriment of those using file-sharing networks.

The new rules are part on an initiative to further increase the speed of Virgin's broadband internet service, especially for uploading rather than downloading. The 'throttling' of P2P traffic isn't being positioned as a specific attempt to reduce the usage of file-sharing networks (which may be used to transfer legal as well as illegal content), but it will mean legal download and streaming services are more likely to work unhindered even when the ISP's networks are at their busiest.

Virgin, of course, has been the most friendly of all the ISPs towards the record industry in its mission to combat illegal file-sharing. The quid pro quo was meant to be working with Virgin to launch a ground breaking unlimited MP3s download service to which Universal Music signed up last year, though the other majors and bigger indies remain resistant to those plans.

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Google has signed a licensing deal with French publishing collecting society Sacem with regards YouTube, meaning the video site will be paying songwriters and publishers represented by the society for the use of their music on the web platform through to at least 2012.

According to Bloomberg, France is the eighth country where YouTube has secured a licensing deal with the local collecting society. The video site already has a deal in place with the UK's PRS For Music, of course, though in Germany GEMA remain insistent that the royalty fees proposed by the web giant are unreasonable.

Confirming his YouTube deal, Sacem chief Bernard Miyet urged his German counterparts to continue seeking a settlement with the video site "for the sake of all" in music. However, he said he had not consulted GEMA while negotiating with YouTube because European competition laws banned him from working with collecting societies in other countries on such deals.

A spokesman for YouTube said Sacem's deal was similar to that it had struck with Italian collecting society SIAE.

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The boss of Universal and Sony owned VEVO says the US-based music video service is now scoring 49 million unique users a month and generating tens of millions of dollars in revenue, which is nice. Over half that income, he says, goes back to the content owners.

According to FMQB, VEVO boss Rio Caraeff told a TechCrunch conference that his company is achieving some successes in its attempt to "restore the lustre of video advertising". He added: "We've proven that we can aggregate a large audience and proven that music is valuable to advertisers. If people are passionate than we can monetise that audience". However, he added it is still early days for the service, which is yet to turn a profit, and that the whole venture is still an "experiment on a grand scale".

As previously reported, VEVO uses YouTube technology, and many of its users come via the Google-owned platform. The whole project was basically set up by Universal to prove (mainly to pile-em-high-sell-em-cheap Google) that higher ad rates could be charged when you have a video service containing only premium content. VEVO is currently only available in the US, though some of its content can be accessed worldwide via YouTube.

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Spotify bosses still hope to launch in the US this year, according to PaidContent, who were in attendance at the streaming service's London party this week to celebrate the music platform scoring its ten millionth user. They say that, despite increased cynicism in the music industry regarding Spot's chances of a US launch in 2010, insiders say the company still hopes to go live stateside between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Of course, it's widely know that some US labels are very resistant to the free version of Spotify, even in its newer more limited form (new free subscribers only get 20 hours of listening a month), fearing it will take people away from those US streaming services which have been diligently building their pay-to-use subscriber bases. Some expect Spotify to launch in America without its freemium offer, though insiders say there will still be some element of free with their US service. It's also thought some US labels have now signed up.

Meanwhile, Spotify has just finished its first television ad campaign, with ads running on various ITV channels for the latter half of September. It is the first time the streaming service has done such blatantly 'above-the-line' marketing in this country. Like many of its competitors in the online entertainment and social networking domain, those services that flourish normally do so from word-of-mouth backed up by some media partnerships.

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According to The Sun, the recording of a new episode of 'Never Mind The Buzzcocks' got completely out of hand recently when guest host Jack Dee laid into guest panellists Jedward, leaving them a bit tearful. According to the tabloid, everyone was completely shocked that some novelty pop stars had come on the show only to have the piss taken out of them. This is, as I'm sure you all know, completely uncharacteristic of this programme, and certainly not what people tune in for.

A source who apparently works on the show said: "Jack went a bit overboard. It started out as good fun but soon turned a bit nasty. The boys knew they were going to get the piss taken out of them and were up for it. But Jack kept going at them relentlessly and it got to the point where he used some seriously strong language. The audience and other panellists got a bit uncomfortable. Even Jack realised he had gone too far and tried to pull it back towards the end".

Clearly stunned and deeply offended by what had happened to them, Jedward told paper: "Jack Dee was a bit rude but we've had worse. At the end of the show he asked for a picture with us so we think he's secretly a massive fan".

Also backing up The Sun's claims that the programme's makers faced a huge struggle to edit the show into broadcastable shape, a spokesman for the Talkback production company said that Dee's mocking of the duo was "harmless ribbing in-keeping with the tone of the show".

Wow, I wouldn't like to be Jack Dee right now, with all these people wandering around completely non-plussed by some things he said. The new series of 'Never Mind The Buzzcocks' is due to begin on 21 Oct but will be too offensive for any human to view directly.

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Andy Malt
Chris Cooke
Business Editor &
Caro Moses
Paul Vig
Club Tipper
Katy Perry
Creche Manager
Chris Moyles
Milk Monitor

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