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Jobs & Training Courses
CMU Info
Top Stories
Citigroup's EMI grab possibly took Terra Firma by surprise 
Festival boss jailed for charging debts to Tesco 
Reunions & Splits
Ex-Paramore guitarist announces new band 
Freebass still on, maybe
In The Studio
Metallica to return to the studio 
Ladyhawke stressed about new album 
Release News
Jessie J album release brought forward 
Metronomy to release third album 
tUnE-yArDs announces new album 
Gigs & Tours News
Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti announce London show 
Festival News
Festival line-up update
Album review: Blancmange - Blanc Burn (Proper Records) 
The Music Business
Sony profits down
[PIAS] appoints new director for services business 
HMV shareholder asks bankers to review firm's options 
The Media Business
Could Dermot host X-Factor USA? 
Beavis & Butt-head return confirmed 
And finally...
Eleven year olds are the bane of touring, says My Chemical man
Bieber wants his career to mirror Jackson's 
Fred Durst set to become rubbish dump namesake

We promised you a little update on preparations for this year's Great Escape convention earlier this week; and you know we like to stick to our promises. Well, sometimes. 

As much previously reported, we here at CMU are programming the convention side of Europe's leading festival for new music this year, and we'll be bringing together some of the most interesting, inspiring and innovative people in music, from all quarters of the business. We'll be announcing the first big list of names very soon, but I think we can let slip that we've got two truly inspiring music makers lined up for our in-conversation programme, both of whom have had a huge impact on their respective genres, one on-stage, the other behind the scenes. Look at me, being a tease. But watch this space, all will be revealed soon.

On the panels side, we've already got some great people from established labels, publishers, promoters and management all ready to share their new approaches to the music business – again, more on them to come – though we also know there are some great brand new businesses out there who we should also be checking out. This is where the Great Escape Start-ups Forum will come in. 

This year we are inviting any music-related start-up (so, less than eighteen months old) to put themselves forward for a little moment in the TGE spotlight. We'll invite five such businesses to present at the Forum, giving them the chance to meet with, sell to and learn from key industry players. If you're involved in such a venture, we'll post details of how to put yourself forward for this opportunity next week at thecmuwebsite.com/thegreatescape.

More TGE news in this spot next week, and probably before then too, meantime, let's get on with this week's Week In Five news summary... 

01: Citigroup took control of EMI. We all knew it was going to happen imminently, though possibly not quite so suddenly. One of the holding companies through which Terra Firma owned EMI was put into administration on Tuesday for failing to meet the covenants of its loan agreement with Citi. The bankers then took ownership of the music firm, cut its debts to the bank to £1.2 billion, confirmed its faith in the current management team, and insisted it was business as usual. Though everyone knows the bank will now look to sell the company, leading, no doubt, to weeks of speculation about buyers. CMU report | Guardian opinion piece

02: Jeremy Hunt asked OfCom to review a section of the Digital Economy Act. It's the section that would set up a system through which content owners could get injunctions forcing internet service providers to block access to websites that exist mainly to infringe copyright. One of the most controversial parts of the Act, in order to get it through parliament a line was inserted saying this system could be introduced, rather than it would be. Hunt says he has no problem with the principle of blocking access to infringing websites, but wants to know if the proposals in the Act for how this would be done are really feasible. CMU report | Independent report

03: Michael Cohl counter-sued Live Nation. The live music giant says the legendary promoter owes them five million relating to an agreement the two parties made when Cohl stood down as Live Nation chair in 2008. But this week Cohl said that Live Nation had breached a clause of that agreement – not to compete with him to bid for the rights to promote a possible 2011 Rolling Stones tour – and that was why he was withholding payments. All of which was more interesting given the Stones said they don't currently have any plans to tour this year. CMU report

04: AEG Live confirmed ticketing ambitions, by forming an alliance with Canadian company Outlook Technology. The first part of the partnership is about enabling AEG to sell tickets for its events and venues without relying on Ticketmaster, which is now owned by their competitors Live Nation, of course. But there are also plans for AEG and Outlook to market their ticketing platform, which lets promoters sell direct to fans, to other players in the live entertainment space also, competing head on with Ticketmaster. CMU report | Ticket News report

05: Jo Whiley announced she was leaving Radio 1 after seventeen years, to take over a new evening show on Radio 2. This sparked a number of other BBC Radio announcements. Huw Stephens will take over Whiley's current weekend show on Radio 1, while Matt Edmondson will get Stephen's mid-week evening slot. Whiley will replace Mark Radcliffe and Stuart Marconie on Radio 2, who will get an afternoon show on 6music instead, them shunting 6 incumbent Nemone into a weekend slot. CMU report | Mirror report

And that's you're lot. More chat on the week just gone in the CMU Weekly podcast, online this afternoon. Why not subscribe in one of these ways...

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Chris Cooke
Business Editor, CMU
VIGSY'S CLUB TIP: Breakology - J Majik album launch party at Hustle
Breakology is Kent's biggest and best drum n bass night, and recently celebrated twelve years of running events. They return to their second spiritual home in Ashford tonight, at the Hustle Warehouse, where the big name is J Majik who will be celebrating the release of his 'Behind The Mask' album, which has been tipped for good things.

Room One hosts the heavy line up of J Majik, the mighty mighty Grooverider, V man Bryan Gee, Sly, Sub Zero with Dice, Tantrum Desire, Chronic & Tinribz, plus MC's Skibadee, Shabba, Bassman, Det, Harry Shotta, Funsta, Stormin and more. Room Two is hosted by Get Twisted with DJ's Raggo, Bad Influence, Tee-A-Zee, Xenon, Fusion and Psycotic, and MCs R Vee, Spinout, Snypa, Reality, Jetta and Rippa and more.

Expect more of an old school rave feel than a club, with lights, dancers, and a mad for it crowd. All events have sold out previously, and the fast train to Ashford International means its only 40 minutes from London's St Pancras.

Friday 4th Feb, Hustle, The Warehouse, Station Road, Ashford, TN23 1EZ, 9pm - 6am, £15 standard, £25 VIP, more info from www.breakology.co.uk

Do you know your Oscar Peterson from your Chilly Gonzales? Award-winning music consultancy Music Concierge, is looking for a Playlist Designer to join our small but expanding creative team. You will develop a sound understanding of our clients' needs, and then source, program and timetable appropriate tracks in line with the client brief. You will have an encyclopedic music knowledge across a multitude of genres, including jazz, classical, pop, world music, and all forms of electronic music. Alongside your creative talent, your professional and motivated approach to work means that you relish pressure and eat deadlines for breakfast.

For full information visit: www.musicconcierge.co.uk/vacancies

"The best music business training event I have attended; relevant and up to date, your knowledge of and enthusiasm for the industry is simply exceptional" from delegate feedback

We are currently taking bookings for the following CMU TRAINING courses:

How to make money out of music - both now and in the future, with a look at alternative investment and revenue streams, and a new approach to monetising artists and their music. Wed 9 Feb 2011

A beginner's guide to music copyright - everything you need to know about copyright law, licensing, monetising copyright, the fight against piracy and the future of the music rights industry. Wed 23 Feb 2011

For more information or to book visit www.theCMUwebsite.com/training

There is a chance that the first Terra Firma and its top man Guy Hands knew about Tuesday's big announcement that Citigroup had taken ownership of EMI was when said announcement was posted on the newswires. According to the FT, the move by the US bank came weeks and possibly months earlier than Terra Firma had expected.

Of course, we were all pretty certain that Terra Firma's backers would not provide EMI with the cash it needed to meet the covenants of its loan with Citi, causing the bank to take ownership this spring. But when The Observer claimed early last month that that could happen within weeks, a Terra Firma source - speaking off the record as usual - told Music Week such talk was "a nonsense" and that "nothing will happen regarding the equity group's ownership of EMI until March at the earliest".

So, how could Citigroup make its grab for EMI without consulting Terra Firma? Well, according to Billboard, because the specific holding company to which the multi-billion pound debt was directly linked - Maltby Investments Ltd - only had two directors, EMI CEO Roger Faxon and EMI CFO (and former Terra Firma exec) Ruth Prior.

While one of the other Maltby holding companies has five Terra Firma twonks on its board, that didn't matter because once Maltby Investments was put into administration, and PricewaterhouseCoopers had been appointed administrator, the unstoppable process had begun which allowed Citi to take ownership of EMI.

Billboard says Citigroup asked Faxon and Prior, as directors of Maltby Investments, if there was a "balance sheet insolvency/technical default" with the company. They had to conclude there was, and so the administration could begin. With the clear benefits to EMI of Terra Firma being cut out of the equation, neither Faxon nor Prior were likely to put up any fight to stop the administrators doing their job.

Of course, Terra Firma knew that, aside from handing over £100 million to EMI, Citigroup taking ownership was inevitable, and there was nothing it could do to stop it. Still, it would have been nice to be kept in the loop as to what was going on, which, if these reports are to be believed, was very much not the case. All Terra Firma has said this week about losing control of a company into which it pumped £1.75 billion is one sentence issued by its retained financial PR agency Finsbury, which went like this: "Terra Firma is pleased that EMI's debt burden has been reduced". Less pleased with everything else, presumably.

Elsewhere in EMI news, the FT cites sources as confirming that Citigroup is not in a mad panic rush to sell the music major, and any sale could take up to a year to complete. Meanwhile Music Week quotes Tim Clark, co-manager of one of the music firm's biggest acts, Robbie Williams, as saying he thinks this week's move by Citigroup was good news for EMI, and that their current label partners will be very much on the meetings list as they negotiate a new record deal for the Robster.

Clark: "We are not discounting a new deal with EMI and we will be looking at them in the same way we will every other record company. EMI is in a fantastic position right now. All of the debt has now disappeared, they are making a profit and there is now a real hope for the company".

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The founder of the Standon Calling festival, Alexander Trenchard, was jailed for two and a half years yesterday after he was found guilty of theft and fraud by false representation, having run up debts of almost £200,000 in relation to the running of the festival on the company credit card provided to him by his employer, Tesco.

Trenchard, the eldest son of Viscount Trenchard, began the festival in the grounds of his family's sixteen century home in 2001, initially as a small party for friends. It has since grown to a 5000 capacity festival open to the public, though the event has always remained a not-for-profit venture, and donated some of its revenues to charity.

The court heard that Trenchard had begun using his company credit card, provided to him in his role as Corporate Affairs Manager at Tesco, to provide some cash flow for the festival in 2007, having already pumped his £70,000 salary into the project. But the festival that year made a loss, making it impossible to pay the unofficial loan back.

Further losses two years later added to the amount of money Trenchard had taken, while he also employed a fraud technique known as "cut and paste" to temporarily raise the credit limit on the card. By the time the fraud was uncovered by a company audit last year, the Standon man had spent £196,000 of Tesco's money on the festival, a figure which grew to £355,000 when related fees were added.

The court heard that, when interviewed by Tesco security staff in May last year, Trenchard immediately made a full confession, and it was discovered he had already been composing an email admitting to his misdeeds. He was subsequently arrested by Hertfordshire Police, with whom he co-operated fully.

Trenchard's lawyer, Patrick Gibbs, admitted that his client's actions had been a "serious breach of trust", but added that the two words that summed up the defendant were: "kind and obsessed". He said: "Standon Calling is a festival which has always been run by this defendant. He became completely obsessed with it. He has let down his family, his wife and two children, [and is] thoroughly ashamed".

The court also heard that Trenchard's parents have repaid Tesco all the debts run up by their son, but that he was expected to pay them back once out of prison. Ruling that Trenchard should spend 30 months in prison, the judge said: "I accept this became an obsession, rather like gambling, but the fact is it went on for a significant amount of time".

Despite all this, organisers of Standon Calling have announced that this year's festival will still go ahead on 11-14 Aug, with the first line-up announcement due later this month.

Festival Director Graham MacVoy said in a statement: "I know that Alex very much regrets his actions and feels great remorse for the distress he has caused, but the festival is about more than just one person. Standon Calling 2010 was a resounding success and we are building on that".

More information at www.standon-calling.com

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Having left Paramore last December, making accusations about his former band being manufactured and blasphemous as he went, guitarist Josh Farro has announced that he has formed a new musical outfit, Novel American.

Speaking to MTV, he said: "We want to be a breath of fresh air to the music scene. We all love Jimmy Eat World, so it's hard not to sound like them, but there's a little of everything in there. We're huge fans of Radiohead, Sigur Rós, Explosions In The Sky".

Having turned his departure from Paramore into a huge drama, Farro said of the split: "I think we just disagree on a lot of things. I don't think it's wrong to disagree with someone ... I just wish them the best in the future, I really don't want to make this a huge drama".

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Peter Hook has said that Freebass, the short lived bassist supergroup he formed with Primal Scream and former Stone Roses bassist Mani, may still work together again in the future. Something that may come as a surprise to anyone who remembers Mani's rant about Hook last year.

If you need reminding, a month after former Smiths bassist Andy Rourke announced his departure from the group in August, saying that Freebass was "entirely unviable as a band", Mani went one step further and accused Hook of having a "wallet stuffed with [Joy Division frontman] Ian Curtis's blood money". Although Mani later apologised, it did seem that Freebass was over.

But Hook now says that the venture would have gone on hold anyway because of his and Mani's other commitments, and that last year's falling out doesn't necessarily mean the project will never resume. Speaking to Spinner, he said: "I'd have to say I don't know at the moment. Both Mani and I knew we had big projects coming up. We were both aware what we were doing with Freebass took second place. We'd already committed ourselves to that, regardless of the fact Mani and I fell out for that short period. The truth is, it would have gone on the back burner anyway".

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Metallica may return to the studio to record their next album, the follow-up to 2008's 'Death Magnetic', next month, drummer Lars Ulrich has revealed. Last September, frontman James Hetfield announced that they were working on new material.

According to Blabbermouth, Ulrich told Danish newspaper Ekstra Bladet: "There's a really good vibe in the band at the moment. In the past, we would be fed up with Metallica whenever we returned home after a gigantic world tour, but this time it's different. Therefore it won't be that long before we start working on a new album. I think that we'll probably already get the creative process going in March or April and go into the studio. We really want to get back to Metallica quickly because we are enjoying it so much right now".

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Ladyhawke has said that she's stressed about how her second album, the follow-up to 2008's eponymous debut, will be received by fans.

She told Stuff: "It's been really weighing me down. It's that second album thing, people always talk about it and it's true. It is really stressful and I just keep thinking people are going to want to hear a 'Paris Is Burning' or 'My Delirium' but I'm not going to have those songs, it's going to be a completely different album and style".

Describing the sound of the new record, she said: "It's still pop, it's just a bit darker and a bit rockier. I guess I'm just playing a lot more guitar and having a lot more fun in the guitar-sense. I'm making an album that's making me really excited but you never can tell if it's going to make other people excited too".

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The release of Jessie J's debut album, 'Who You Are', has been brought forward four whole weeks from 28 Mar to 28 Feb, which is nice. As previously reported, her new single, 'Price Tag', is already on course for the number one spot this Sunday.

The singer tweeted yesterday: "So, due to my amazing Heartbeats showing so much love and support, myself, Island Records UK, and Republic Records have decided that you deserve the album EARLY. The new date for 'Who You Are', my debut album, has been brought forward to 28 Feb. That's four weeks early".

I should probably have explained that she calls her fans 'Heartbeats'. Well, I have now.

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Metronomy will release their third album, 'The English Riviera', on 11 Apr via Because Music, preceded by a single, 'The Look', on 4 Apr. They will also tour in April, so it's going to be a busy month.

Since the release of 2008's 'Nights Out', the band has officially expanded to a four piece, with bassist Gbenga Adelekan and drummer Anna Prior joining keyboard player Oscar Cash and founder member Joseph Mount.

The album's tracklist is as follows:

The English Riviera
We Broke Free
Everything Goes My Way
The Look
She Wants
The Bay
Loving Arm
Some Written
Love Underlined

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The prize for the most creative use of the shift key goes to Merrill Garbus, aka tUnE-yArDs, who, having released debut 'Bird Brains' in 2009, now returns with sophomore offering 'w h o k i l l'. The album, released on 4AD on 18 Apr, marks a move away from the deeply DIY production of the first LP, which, some argued, tended to stifle Garbus' singing talents under a layer of lo-fi fuzz.

Despite the mixed critical response to 'BiRd-BrAiNs', Garbus demonstrated in live performances the breadth of her vocal and musical range. Though, that said, she says of the follow-up LP "I had no interest in making a live album. But, at the same time, I wanted to record it better than I had been able to record the last album. So I went into a real studio with a real engineer and real microphones".

Watch an in-studio session which includes 'w h o k i l l' track 'Powa' here: 4ad.com/sessions/001

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Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti have announced a one-off show in London this May, which will be the band's biggest UK gig to date. The show will take place as the band are en route to the Animal Collective curated All Tomorrow's Parties festival, and will itself be promoted by ATP.

The band will play Koko on 13 May. Tickets are available here:

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END OF THE ROAD, Larmer Tree Gardens, North Dorset, 2-4 Sep: Twice Mercury-nominated songstress Laura Marling leads the latest group of acts announced to appear at this Dorset festival. Also joining in with the folksy merriment will be Kurt Vile & The Violators, The Black Angels, Daniel Martin Moore, Darren Hanlon, The Leisure Society, Megafaun and Lia Ices. Among the acts previously confirmed to play are Beirut, Midlake Wild Beasts, The Fall, and Gruff Rhys. www.endoftheroadfestival.com

FRIENDS OF MINE, Capesthorne Hall, Cheshire, 21-22 May: The inaugural edition of this two day bash will play host to the very venerable trio of Twisted Wheel, The Farm and The Lightning Seeds, the latter of whom will be co-headlining with Buzzcocks and The Charlatans. Other acts fresh on the bill include Mr Scruff, Toro Y Moi, The Longcut, The Answering Machine and that busiest of festival bands, The Whip. They join a motley gang of already confirmed acts including Black Lips, The Wedding Present, Flats, Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly and Dutch Uncles. Amongst those DJing at the "country house Party" will be mop-haired Manc hero Tim Burgess, and Wales' most famous drug trafficker, Howard Marks. www.fomfest.com

LARMER TREE FESTIVAL, Larmer Tree Gardens, North Dorset, 13-17 Jul: The second festival taking place at Larmer Tree Gardens in today's line-up update, though this one more obviously so. Among the first acts announced for this year's event are Jools Holland and his Rhythm & Blues Orchestra with Sandie Shaw, Bellowhead, The Penny Black Remedy, The Dodge Brothers, and Polly And The Billets Doux. BBC film critic Mark Kermode will also be hosting a film strand, too. www.larmertreefestival.co.uk

NOVA ROCK, Nickelsdorf, Austria, 11-13 Jun: Alt-dnb Aussies Pendulum are newly added to the Nova Rock line-up, along with groove-metallers Cavalera Conspiracy, and Duff McKagan's Loaded. Already confirmed to headline is the heavyweight quartet of Iron Maiden, System Of A Down, Linkin Park and, err... Volbeat. www.novarock.at

ROCK WERCHTER, Rotselaar, Belgium, 30 Jun - 3 Jul: This year Belgium's biggest rock festival will play host to White Lies, Kaiser Chiefs, The National, Social Distortion and All Time Low, organisers have just confirmed. They reinforce an already hefty line-up that includes Coldplay, Kings Of Leon, Arctic Monkeys, Iron Maiden, The Chemical Brothers, Portishead, Robyn, Elbow, P J Harvey, The Gaslight Anthem and Two Door Cinema Club. Oof, that's hefty. www.rockwerchter.be/en/home/

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ALBUM REVIEW: Blancmange - Blanc Burn (Proper Records)
It's safe to say that the world was probably not expecting a new Blancmange album, let alone clamouring for it in huge droves, but with the likes of La Roux shamelessly plagiarising their sound, it was perhaps inevitable the duo would return, 'Blanc Burn' being their first album in 23 years.

Unlike many of their early 80s new pop peers, Blancmange sensibly split up in 1984, thus relieving the world of a series of confused/mediocre post-Live Aid albums, but history still has not afforded them perhaps the recognition they deserve. (Bizarrely, Channel 4 completely omitted the duo from their Top Ten Electropop show some years back, instead affording air time to the likes of Bronski Beat).

With its blend of analogue synths and Indian percussion, 'Blanc Burn' is business as usual for the duo, Stephen Luscombe creating rich electronic tapestries over which singer Neil Arthur can weave his tales of everyday life and occasional oddness. There's no shortage of melodic nous, and although 'The Western' is a slightly shameless retread of their biggest hit 'Living On The Ceiling', it's still glorious fun nonetheless and the most memorable thing here. Some dubious lyrics aside, this is a solid comeback album, and certainly much better than it has any right to be. MS

Physical release: 7 Mar

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Sony Corp saw its operating income slip 5.9% year on year during the last quarter of 2010. Although sales were down in many Sony divisions and that played its part, much of the fall in profit can actually be accounted for in currency fluctuations between the dollar and the yen.

Revenues at Sony Pictures and TV sales for the Sony electronics business were both down, while the gaming side of the company had yet another good quarter. Sony Music was also one of the declining revenue units, with sales down 14.5 percent to despite good performing releases from Michael Jackson, Susan Boyle, Bruce Springsteen and the 'Glee' franchise.

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[PIAS] has appointed music marketer Clare Britt to the role of Director of its Global Project Management division, which was launched last year, bringing together the music company's label and marketing services businesses.

Britt has work in marketing roles at various music companies over the years, including Rough Trade and Universal's Island Records, and more recently has been working via her own consultancy directly with artists like Faithless, McFly and Charlotte Church. As well as heading up the [PIAS] division, Britt and her business partner Pru Harris will continue to run their management and brand consultancy, which will now be based at [PIAS] HQ.

Confirming the appointment, [PIAS] MD of Repertoire Edwin Schroter told CMU: "We're delighted to have Clare on board with us. Her vast experience in marketing and project management, combined with her strategic and out-of-the-box thinking will help us develop the Global Project Management service into a unique and unrivalled offering for artists and labels".

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Alexander Mamut, the business man who has been buying up shares in HMV of late, has reportedly hired consultants from investment bank Credit Suisse to advise him on options for the retail and entertainment group, which issued a profit warning earlier this year after disappointing pre-Christmas sales. Some commentators reckon the bankers will recommend selling off part of the HMV business, most likely the Waterstones chain, to raise cash.

Of course, the immediate future of HMV is not in Mamut's control - he only owns 6% of the company. However, he's an increasingly influential shareholder, and it is thought the results of the Credit Suisse review will impact on to what extent he throws his support behind the current management team at the firm, led by CEO Simon Fox.

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Dermot O'Leary is on a shortlist of seven to front the American version of 'X-Factor' it has been reported. According to the Mirror, the current host of the UK version of the Simon Cowell owned talent show is the only Brit in consideration, despite past gossip Channel 4 presenter Steve Jones was a contender.

Presumably if Dermot got the 'X-Factor USA' gig the UK version would need a new host. ITV wouldn't be happy with that, given they are already facing the prospect of the next series launching minus two of its key judges - Cowell and possibly Cheryl Cole.

Americans apparently on the list include one time 'Saved By The Bell' star Mario Lopez, now a presenter on US entertainment show 'Extra', E! channel reporter Jason Kennedy, and the wild card rumoured contender, actor Zac Efron.

Last weekend O'Leary was asked about the chances of him fronting the US version of the show, and in doing so launching a new career in American telly, to which he said: "I've sat down with Simon. I've made pitch, but to be honest there's not a lot more I can do. It's all a bit odd. I didn't do any screen tests, which would be normal, because I'm already doing the job here, and they can see exactly what they'll be getting. I get the fact that they might want an American doing it. I'd be miffed if an American came over here and took a presenting job I thought I could do".

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MTV has confirmed those rumours that 'Beavis & Butt-Head' is returning to the music network. The cast of the youth broadcaster's latest high profile new show - a US version of 'Skins' - announced the return of the animated metal fans to MTV in New York earlier this week. Rumours that Mike Judge was planning a new series of 'Beavis & Butt-Head', basically applying the same format as before but with the latest music videos, began to circulate last summer.

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Um, okay, that headline's maybe a little bit misleading. But only a little bit. My Chemical Romance guitarist Frank Iero has said that it's annoying when fans complain that the band's tour dates don't come to their home town. Eleven year olds in particular.

Speaking to AOL Music, Iero said: "It's so hard these days, the touring industry is rough. If you don't go to every single town then you have eleven year old over privileged brats tweeting, 'You didn't come to my city and now I fucking hate you!' There's not enough hours in a day and there's not enough days in the year and you can't do it for everybody. And that's a shame, because you want to be able to. We love to play but at a certain point you have to do things for yourself".

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Justin Bieber's quite young, it's possible he's not completely au fait with the career of Michael Jackson and its intricacies. Presumably when he told Love magazine that he'd like a career similar to Jacko's, he didn't mean that he'd like to be driven insane by an overbearing father and relentless media hounding, be accused of child abuse and have plastic surgeons destroy his face, and then be brought to a close by an overdose of surgical drugs. He probably just fancies selling a lot of records and recording a song with Janet Jackson.

Anyway, Bieber said: "There can only ever be one Michael Jackson - he kept things appropriate. He kept them right. His songs weren't crazy and never went out of his lane. Anyone would be lucky to have a career like Michael's - that's the kind of the level I want to go down. You don't want to grow up too quick. A lot of people make that mistake".

Yep, if there's one thing you can say about Michael Jackson, it's that he never made any mistakes.

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Well, this is a nice final news story of the week, a rubbish dump in Austin, Texas is currently holding a public vote to find a new name. Currently known as the Solid Waste Services Department, in the lead to become its new name, with 11,000 votes, is the Fred Durst Society Of The Humanities And Arts.

There's nothing I can say to make that funnier. So I won't even try. Voting is open until 10 Feb at austin.uservoice.com, and the new name will be announced in April.

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Andy Malt
Chris Cooke
Business Editor &
Caro Moses
Eddy Temple-Morris
Paul Vig
Club Tipper
Richard Keys
Equal Opps Manager

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