TODAY'S TOP STORY: While Alexa is more than happy to play any old nonsense from your Spotify library - if you really insist - Siri thinks Spotify is a big fat bunch of shit and won't sully herself by streaming dumb tunes that originate within that monumental fuck fest. Not my words ladies and gentlemen, but the words of Siri herself. By which, I mean, Apple isn't allowing other music apps to integrate with Siri on its new HomePod device... [READ MORE]
As the UK's Music Managers Forum publishes two new guides as part of phase three of its 'Dissecting The Digital Dollar' programme, CMU Trends summarises what we've learned from the project so far in 30 points - ten from part one, ten from part two, and ten from the new guides. Along the way we cover digital licensing, all the key issues with the current streaming business model, and what you need to know about label deals and transparency in the streaming age. [READ MORE]
There has been lots of debate around the music rights data problem in recent years, and a number of initiatives are underway to tackle the issue. Though Spotify's mechanical royalties dispute and the lack of songwriter credits on the streaming platforms shows the problem persists. As Music 4.5 puts the spotlight back on all things data, CMU Trends reviews discussions to date, challenges to be met, and where progress is being made. [READ MORE]
Copyright provides creators with control over that which they create, but what happens when the creators themselves don't own the copyright in their work? Artists and songwriters who are no longer in control of their copyrights do still have some rights, sometimes by contract, and via performer and moral rights. CMU Trends considers what the law says about the rights of artists and songwriters after their copyrights have been assigned. [READ MORE]
TOP STORIES Siri won't play Spotify tunes on Apple's new HomePod
LEGAL Travis Scott sued over balcony fall at New York gig
Copyright owners pursue the most claims through the High Court
DEALS Universal Music allies with VR/AR firm
Chrysalis acquires more recordings as part of Warner's indie offload
LIVE BUSINESS V Festival is dead, new party to be launched on its grave
EDUCATION & EVENTS Speakers confirmed for CMU Insights session at We Are Robots
RELEASES Tom Calvert, aka Redinho, releases new solo album
GIGS & FESTIVALS Frightened Rabbit announce Midnight Organ Fight tenth anniversary shows
AWARDS Independent Festival Awards handed out
ONE LINERS Shane McAnally, DHP Family, Sia, Amanda Palmer, more
AND FINALLY... Everyone's still angry that Fox News doesn't like Radiohead
Tru Thoughts is looking to hire a Digital Marketing and Content Manager to work in-house at our office in Brighton. The candidate should be confident and organised, with a demonstrable passion for the label’s music (and a love of being by the sea).

For more information and to apply click here.
TuneCore is looking for a UK Brand Manager to be responsible for the development of its brand and customer base across the UK. The Brand Manager will have a deep understanding of, and an extensive network in, both the UK music market and the indie scene, and direct experience working in the independent music industry.

For more information and to apply click here.
This is an excellent opportunity for an enthusiastic and dynamic individual to lead on the planning and management of the Roundhouse's exceptional Music Programme for young people.

For more information and to apply click here.
Cr2 Records is looking for an experienced Product and Marketing Manager to manage all singles and albums / compilation releases. This will include all product and marketing assets, scheduling, promotion timelines and co-ordinating between all departments internally and teams externally to ensure the best possible product chart positions and sales for the label.

For more information and to apply click here.
Circus Records and its associated group of companies are looking for a key addition to their growing team. We are looking for a label assistant working within the company, to aid and support key functions within administration, communication and operations of the label.

For more information and to apply click here.
Eventbrite is looking for someone to help build a world-class business development team focused on music in Europe that consistently exceeds business targets, partners cross-functionally with our global teams, and helps write the playbook for our European market.

For more information and to apply click here.
Worldwide FM is looking to hire a Station Manager to organise the day-to-day running of the online radio platform. The role is working closely with the directors on all aspects of the business.

For more information and to apply click here.
Music Concierge, the award-winning music consultancy for boutique hotels, luxury brands, restaurant and bars, is looking for a Music Consultant to join our small but expanding creative team.

For more information and to apply click here.
Music Concierge, the award-winning music consultancy for boutique hotels, luxury brands, restaurant and bars, is looking for a Playlist Designer to join our small but expanding creative team.

For more information and to apply click here.
The Senior Vice President of Synchronisation will be responsible for overseeing creative pitching, clearance and synch administration for the United Kingdom, Ireland, Spain, Portugal and Netherlands and overseeing synch agents and sub-publishers in key territories including France, Italy and Eastern Europe.

For more information and to apply click here.
The Orchard is looking for a savvy, seasoned digital music marketer to promote its distributed artists in Europe and beyond. The ideal candidate will come from a label or distribution background and have an exceptional understanding of the digital space.

For more information and to apply click here.
SJM Concerts are at the forefront of the Live UK Music market. With nearly a 30 year history as a company we promote some of the biggest tours for artists from around the world. Those who are both long established and those setting the bar for the future.

For more information and to apply click here.
We are looking for a passionate Digital Marketing Assistant to join our Catalogue Marketing team. This is a newly created role and the successful candidate will assist the Marketing Manager and wider team with developing and executing effective digital marketing strategies for the BMG Catalogue campaigns.

For more information and to apply click here.
Warp Records is looking to hire a Creative Licensing Manager, Advertising to join our Sync team in London to deliver licensing opportunities for our Artists focusing on Advertising, Trailers & Promos.

For more information and to apply click here.
Green Man Festival wishes to appoint a Marketing Manager to join our friendly team, who will create and implement marketing campaigns for the festival as well as other Green Man events and experiences.

For more information and to apply click here.
Ninja Tune seeks a Marketing Assistant to provide support for the Product Managers across all areas of artist campaigns. Someone who is passionate about music, with previous music industry experience, preferably within marketing.

For more information and to apply click here.
RECRUIT YOUR TEAM RIGHT HERE: 020 7099 9060 or ads@unlimitedmedia.co.uk
How The Music Business Works
SEMINARS | every Monday until 13 Nov, London | INFO
Our 'How The Music Business Works' programme consists of eight two-hour seminars which together cover: the various ways the music industry generates revenue, building and engaging a fanbase, the business partnerships artists form with music companies, and how the artist/label relationship is changing.
Enforcing Music Rights - Safe Harbours And Piracy
MASTERCLASS | Monday 20 November 2017, London | INFO
In this half day masterclass, CMU MD and Business Editor Chris Cooke will look at how the music industry enforces its copyrights, at the long-running battle with online music piracy, and at the controversy around the copyright safe harbour.

Siri won't play Spotify tunes on Apple's new HomePod
While Alexa is more than happy to play any old nonsense from your Spotify library - if you really insist - Siri thinks Spotify is a big fat bunch of shit and won't sully herself by streaming dumb tunes that originate within that monumental fuck fest. Not my words ladies and gentlemen, but the words of Siri herself. By which, I mean, Apple isn't allowing other music apps to integrate with Siri on its new HomePod device.

As previously reported, Apple is getting ready to go head-to-head with Amazon and Google in a bid to own the about-to-boom voice-activated-internet-connected-box-that-does-useful-stuff market, or the VAICBTDUS market for short. Like both Amazon's Echo and the Google Home device, Apple's HomePod will do an assortment of things whenever you shout orders at it, including playing some tunes, if only to drown out all the shouting.

Both Amazon and Google have their own streaming platforms to push, of course, and so their respective voice-activated devices default to their own services. And that's provides an opportunity for both web giants to grow their proprietary music set-ups, with Amazon - in particular - potentially primed to become a significant player in the streaming music market on the back of its activity in this space.

However, both companies have allowed the likes of Spotify to also fully integrate with their devices. So that, if you the user so chooses, they can say "hey Alexa" or "hey Google" and have music play on Spotify rather than Amazon Music Unlimited or Google Play Music.

Apple's HomePod pushes its music playing abilities to the fore, with the higher audio quality of its in-built speaker one of the justifications for the device being more expensive than the Echo or Google Home. But if you want to listen to your music by shouting "hey Siri", you'll only be able to stream tracks from Apple Music.

Apple yesterday posted an update for third party developers on how to get their apps working with Siri on its soon-to-launch HomePod device. However, initially HomePod Siri integration will only be available to apps that provide services classified as messaging, lists and notes. Which excludes rather a lot, including - of course - Apple's biggest rival in the streaming music business, Spotify.

This isn't an especially surprising development, given that apps which compete with Apple Music can't integrate with Siri on other Apple devices. And, as noted, Apple more than its competitors plans to push HomePod as a music player, but only an Apple Music player. Indeed, in its update for developers Apple describes the HomePod as "the powerful speaker that sounds amazing ... and provides instant access to Apple Music".

For its part, Apple stresses - to you, me and any anti-trust lawyers reading - that other music apps can play on the HomePod, they just won't be integrated with Siri, meaning you'll control the app via an iPad or iPhone using the Airplay feature, as you would with other wireless speakers. Though given that voice control is at the heart of these new devices, the "fuck you Spotify" from Siri is arguably significant.

Of course, making it less convenient for users to use their streaming service of choice on your new device is a gamble - will it make your own streaming platform more attractive or your already-more-expensive VAICBTDUS device less attractive? We'll see, I guess.

Asked about the confirmation from Apple that Siri integration won't be available to third party music services on HomePod, for now at least, a spokesperson for Spotify told Business Insider: "We are always working to have Spotify available across all platforms, but we don't have any further information to share at this time".

Elsewhere in Spotify news, according to a recent Companies House filing, Spotify's UK business saw subscription and advertising revenues rise in 2016, while the number of monthly active users rose to 7.1 million, of which 2.8 million were paying subscribers. Which is quite a lot of users. "Fuck them all to hell", said Siri in a statement last night.


Travis Scott sued over balcony fall at New York gig
Rapper Travis Scott has been sued by a fan who was injured after falling off a balcony at a New York show back in April. Lawyers for Kyle Green say that Scott and his team did not properly manage the crowd at the concert and failed to administer first aid after their client had been clearly injured.

According to reports, some fans at the April show - allegedly encouraged by Scott - began jumping from the balcony at New York's Terminal 5 venue into the arms of audience members below in a form of extreme crowd surfing. Green says that that activity resulted in the crowd on the balcony, where he was standing, surging forward, knocking him over the railing onto the floor below.

After his fall, Scott then seemingly encouraged security at the venue to bring Green to the stage, where he presented the injured fan with a ring. But instead of following Scott's bizarre requests from the stage, Green's reps argue, security should have been administering emergency first aid to the injured gig-goer and calling an ambulance.

The New York Post quotes Green as saying: "I fell and hit the floor. Before I knew it, I was surrounded by security guards, who scooped me up. Travis Scott was yelling at his security guards to bring me to the stage. They didn't put a backboard or a neck brace on me or anything, they just kinda lifted me up and pulled me around. Then they dropped me in front of the stage. I was in a lot of pain. I just laid there, and finally, an ambulance came".

Green, who was a student at the time, says that the fall resulted in a fractured vertebrae, broken left wrist and fractured right ankle, injuries that left him paralysed on his left side. He has now left college and is living which his family, requiring a wheelchair to get around.

In a lawsuit filed with the New York courts, Green says that the venue should have known that Scott "had incited mayhem and chaos at prior events", and should have been prepared to deal with such a situation. His lawyer adds, "[there was] no crowd control, so that the crowd was able to push him over the ledge, and then, to add insult to injury, he winds up not even being given basic and routine first aid. Clearly, had he been given [the aid], he wouldn't have wound up paralysed".

Neither Scott nor Terminal 5 have as yet responded to the lawsuit.


Copyright owners pursue the most claims through the High Court
In these uncertain times in which we live I think we've all worried at various moments about the future job security of our judges, so hurrah for the copyright industries for ensuring that the High Court in London remains busy.

According to law firm RPC, which has been doing some counting, the three leading claimants in the High Court in the year up to 31 Mar 2017 were all in the business of copyright. And two of them music copyright.

Leading the way by bringing a massive 106 cases to court was the UK record industry's collecting society PPL, while its counterpart in music publishing, PRS, came in third with 27 cases. The Football Association is in second place having filed 39 cases, mainly seeking to protect its intellectual property rights against those illegally accessing or airing footage of football matches.

PPL, of course, grants licences on behalf of artists and record labels to those seeking to exploit the 'performing rights' of the sound recording copyright, which mainly means broadcasters and any business that plays recorded music in a public space.

Performing rights income - long a key revenue stream for songwriters and music publishers - became a much higher priority for the record industry as CD sales slumped in the early 2000s and record companies started to chase every single penny they were due. As a result PPL became much more proactive in enforcing its members rights. And, according to the figures put out by RPC, it remains pretty damn prolific today.

Says the law firm's Ciara Cullen: "Legal action can be an effective way for music companies and their representatives to recoup some of the money lost from reduced sales from the digitalisation of music content".

She adds: "Pubs, restaurants and nightclubs can be easier to pursue for potential copyright infringement than other culprits such as illegal file sharing websites that tend to be based off-shore. Not only do the considerable damages make the process of going to court worth it for record labels or performers, but they can also help to act as a deterrent for other offenders".

So well done PPL on your litigious achievements. Why not sue someone to celebrate?


Universal Music allies with VR/AR firm
Universal Music has announced an alliance with Within, an LA-based start-up specialising in VR and its more interesting sibling AR, with the promise of "multiple immersive experiences" involving the mega-major's artists. And who doesn't like immersive experiences? Get immersed as much as you can, I say. These immersive experiences will be available within Within, the tech firm's proprietary app.

Says Within CEO Chris Milk: "Music is one of the most uniquely transformative mediums of human expression; combining it with immersive AR and VR experiences creates a new artform exponentially more powerful than the sum of its parts. This partnership allows us the incredible opportunity to work with top artists at Universal Music to create ever more meaningful and expressive immersive music experiences".

Adds Universal Music's Michele Anthony: "We are huge admirers of Chris's innovative and creative work in music and VR, as well as the premium experiences Within offers to music fans. Working with our labels and artists, Universal Music has produced numerous VR experiences and this agreement will help evolve our strategy. Together, Universal Music and Within will push the boundaries of how audiences experience music and create new ways for artists to forge deeper connections with their fans".

So get ready to be meaningfully transformed, exponentially immersed, expressively pushed and deeply connected. I think. I don't know. I kinda tuned out. VR, woo!


Chrysalis acquires more recordings as part of Warner's indie offload
Warner Music is still digging around the back of its big cupboard of musical delights looking for some dusty relics it can offload to meet the commitments it made to the indie label community back in the days when at least five people remembered what EMI was. And to that end it's just biked over five more artist catalogues to the all new Chrysalis.

Which means that tracks made by The Swinging Blue Jeans, Dario G, Lucinda Williams, Grant Lee Buffalo and Toumani Diabaté that were previously controlled by Warner Music are now part of the new Chrysalis recordings repertoire. Quick, someone update the music industry's global rights database so every music user is fully up to speed. Oh, yeah, we forgot to make that database. OK, let's just write it in crayon on the wall.

As much previously reported, when Universal Music bought the EMI record company in 2012, competition regulators forced it to sell off a chunk of the former British major's European assets, in particular the Parlophone label. Warner Music bought most of those assets, and reached a deal with the indie label community to avoid running into its own issues with the European competition regulators. At the heart of that deal was a commitment to sell off a certain amount of catalogue to the indie label sector.

It was as a result of that arrangement that newish music company Blue Raincoat was able to acquire the old Chrysalis Records brand and much of the former label's UK catalogue, allowing it to restore Chrysalis as an active indie record company. The all-new Chrysalis has since expanded its recordings repertoire with further acquisitions from Warner, polishing off various musical relics with a view to better exploiting the shiny classic tracks that are sitting underneath the dust.

Commenting on the latest acquisitions, Chrysalis Records boss Jeremy Lascelles said: "Not by intention, but I don't think we could have come up with a much more eclectic selection of artists to add to the Chrysalis roster".

He went on: "But all of them - from Lucinda Williams, one of my own personal favourite artists of the past couple of decades, to the wonderful world music sounds of Toumani Diabaté - are giants in their respective areas of music. It's also a joy to add classic hit songs like 'Hippy Hippy Shake' and 'Sunchyme' to our catalogue. I am proud to include all these great artists on the Chrysalis Records label".


V Festival is dead, new party to be launched on its grave
Hooray! Our least favourite live music event, V Festival, is no more. Well, sort of. After 22 years, Virgin has decided to stop sponsoring the twin-site crap funnel. Live Nation's Festival Republic has said that the event will lumber on under a different name. I would buy a ticket to a new party billed as a place where you could dance on the grave of V, FYI.

Announcing the decision to stop putting his company's name to the annual pit of misery, Richard Branson says that it is important "to keep innovating and changing things up", so Virgin will now look for "new ways we can disrupt the [music] industry". Maybe he could launch a streaming service where every track you listen to is somehow tweaked to give you a nagging sense that you've made a terrible mistake.

"V Festival has always been a special weekend for everyone at Virgin", writes Branson, which seems incredibly unlikely. "Being part of V Festival has been an honour and there are some amazing moments that will stay with me forever - including introducing Paul Weller and welcoming V2 Records' first signing The Stereophonics to a massive audience".

See, even he can't think of anything that good about it.

Launched in 1996, taking place in Victoria Park in Warrington and Hylands Park in Chelmsford, the first event was headlined by Paul Weller and Pulp - the twin site idea having been developed from an idea by Jarvis Cocker. So it's basically his fault.

For its second year, the Northern site moved to Temple Newsam outside Leeds, before settling in Weston Park in Staffordshire, which isn't even all that Northern. What will now be the final edition of V Festival as we know it took place in August, headlined by Jay-Z and Pink.

Goodbye V Festival. I'm not sure if it came across in this article, but we weren't really fans.


Speakers confirmed for CMU Insights session at We Are Robots
The first edition of new London-based festival We Are Robots kicks off on Thursday, with four days of shows, discussions, workshops and installations in and around the Truman Brewery complex.

The first day includes a conference aimed at the music community including discussions about the future of music radio, music production and interactive entertainment.

That will be topped off with a session led by CMU Insights looking at the impact new technology is having on the live music sector, in terms of marketing and ticketing, the fan experience during the show, and how live events can be shared and broadcast beyond the venue.

Confirmed to take part in that conversation at 4.30pm on Thursday are Russ Tannen from Dice, Arianna Power from Boiler Room, Ruari Frew from Vice and Ami Lord from Standon Calling. CMU's Chris Cooke will moderate.

For more information about We Are Robots, click here.


Approved: Rolo Tomassi - Rituals
Well, let's all do a little inward jump for joy. Rolo Tomassi are back. And not a moment too soon. More than two years since their last album, 'Grievances', they return with a new single, 'Rituals', and talk of a new album, possibly called 'Love Will Bury It' (if this website that fans are being directed to is anything to go by).

Although the new track continues in the vein of 'Grievances' in terms of its darkness, it "shouldn't be used to judge what all our new material sounds like", the band's James Spence tells Noisey of the single, which was written by guitarist Chris Cayford. "When other members were in their stride with being productive, Chris was a little blocked, and just as our ideas began to slow, he really hit his stride with writing. I feel like this track, especially its aggression and energy, was a real release and relief".

Of the album, he adds: "'Grievances' was, from the start, conceived to be an album that flowed perfectly from start to finish and written with that in mind. This time around we focused specifically on exploring songs like 'Rituals' to their full potential. To write mini-epics. An album's worth of ideas in one song. We pushed every song to its extreme and, in the case of 'Rituals', that meant making it as heavy and unrelenting as we possibly could".

The band will play a one-off show at The Borderline in London on 4 Nov to preview new material. Now, listen to 'Rituals' here.

Stay up to date with all of the artists featured in the CMU Approved column by subscribing to our Spotify playlist.

Tom Calvert, aka Redinho, releases new solo album
Producer Tom Calvert, also known as Redinho, has announced a new solo release, 'Zanbor', following on from his work producing the debut album by Swet Shop Boys. Influenced by Iraqi folk music and Arabic instruments, the album comes accompanied by a short film directed by Abdullah Al-wali and Susannah George.

"I've tried to make this record as much a moment in time as possible, aiming to make a beat a day in December 2016 and resisting urges to edit", says Calvert. "This was to avoid analysis paralysis, perfectionism, and give it a punk feel. I also wanted the record to sound lo-fi, as if it's a dusty artefact found in the rubble. Much of the sounds were run through a space echo emulator and this gave it an atmosphere that felt relevant".

The album is out now, via Customs, the new label set up by Calvery with Swet Shop Boys' Riz MC and Heems.

Watch the 'Zanbor' short film here.


Frightened Rabbit announce Midnight Organ Fight tenth anniversary shows
Frightened Rabbit have announced a series of shows next year to mark the tenth anniversary of their second album, 'The Midnight Organ Fight'.

With debut LP 'Sing The Greys' effectively a solo project from frontman Scott Hutchinson, 2008's 'The Midnight Organ Fight was their first record as a band, and received high acclaim.

"If you are one of those souls who was around when 'The Midnight Organ Fight' was first released, coming to watch us scrap our way through those songs as we toured the album and ourselves into the ground, you may be interested to learn that it all happened nearly ten years ago", say the band. "To mark the anniversary, we'll be playing a few shows performing 'TMOF' in its entirety".

Tickets go on sale to the band's mailing list tomorrow, then on general sale on Friday. The UK run of shows is as follows:

15 Mar: Manchester, Ritz
16 Mar: London, The Forum
17 Mar: Glasgow, Academy


Independent Festival Awards handed out
The Independent Festival Awards took place last night at the Festival Congress conference in Cardiff. Hosted by Glastonbury's Ben Challis, the big winner of the night was Secret Garden Party, which took home two prizes, following its final edition this summer.

"The Independent Festival Awards was an outstanding celebration", says the Association Of Independent Festivals' Paul Reed. "It is always a tough call with such a strong shortlist and this reflects the abundance of creativity and imagination fuelling this inspiring and growing sector. Congratulations to all of the winners and nominees".

He added: "As we look towards the next phase of the Congress and Sheffield in 2018, this has topped off a phenomenal four years in Cardiff". Oh yes, AIF also announced yesterday that its annual Festival Congress will move to Sheffield next year. So now you know that too.

And here are the winners of the Independent Festival Awards:

Unique Festival Arena: Womb With A View at Shambala

Best Smart Marketing: Secret Garden Party's VIP/Celebrity Obsession Theme

Live Act Of The Year: Idles

Mind Blowing Spectacle: Nozstock The Hidden Valley's Closing Festival Fire Show

Festival Caterer Of The Year: Happy Maki

New Festival On The Block: Aespia

Act Of Independence: Greenbelt Festival

Pioneer Award: Freddie Fellowes - Secret Garden Party


Shane McAnally, DHP Family, Sia, Amanda Palmer, more

Other notable announcements and developments today...

• Kobalt has announced a new deal with country songwriter Shane McAnally to administrate his song rights worldwide. It sees McAnally continue his relationship with the music firm, which also provides services to his SmackSongs company. Jesse Willoughby, GM of Kobalt Nashville, "couldn't be more excited". I bet he could. Just a little.

• Live company DHP Family has made three promotions. Kelly Bennaton becomes Head Of Marketing, Sophie Power becomes Head Of Creative, and Anwyn Williams takes on the role of Marketing Manager. "I'm delighted that we have been able to turn to the talent we have working within the company to fill these three roles", says MD George Akins.

• Sia has released ominous sounding new single 'Santa's Coming For Us'. The track is taken from her new Christmas album, 'Every Day Is Christmas', out on 17 Nov.

• Amanda Palmer has released new single, 'In Harm's Way'. It will be released on seven-inch vinyl on 17 Nov, with 10% of profits going to the Because We Carry charity. Palmer will also play a show at London's Union Chapel on 16 Nov, which will be broadcast via her website.

• Steve Mason and Martin Duffy have announced that they will release an EP under the name Alien Stadium on 1 Dec titled 'Livin In Elizabethan Times'. Here's the first track to be released from it, 'This One's For The Humans'.

• They Might Be Giants will release new album, 'I Like Fun', on 19 Jan. From it, this is new single 'I Left My Body'.

• A new seven LP vinyl boxset of Fela Kuti albums curated by Erykah Badu is to be released on 15 Dec. It'll feature personal essays written by Erykah Badu and in-depth commentaries by Afrobeat historian Chris May. From the box, here's 'Coffin For Head Of State Part 2', with commentary from May.

• Katie Von Schleicher has released the video for new single 'Midsummer', ahead of UK tour dates which start this week.

• Colour have released the video for new single 'Minus'.

• Rocheman has announced that he will release his debut album on 1 Dec. Here's new single, 'Pestle Pusher'.

• Check out our weekly Spotify playlist of new music featured in the CMU Daily - updated every Friday.


Everyone's still angry that Fox News doesn't like Radiohead
Fox News has found a way to get people outside its traditional audience talking about it. And boy is it laying it on thick. Now look at us here, falling right into the trap. Again.

This all dates back to earlier this month and an edition of the news channel's low budget late night talk show 'The Greg Gutfeld Show'. On it, reporter Kat Timpf claimed that Radiohead had been nominated for induction into the Rock N Rock Hall Of Fame next year based on "fame and not talent". She added that their music "is just elaborate moaning and whining over ringtone sounds".

Radiohead fans immediately took the bait and began defending the band, even though 1) Radiohead don't need defending and 2) that's actually quite a reasonable description of their music.

It caused such a fuss that Gutfield and co realised that they were onto something. So the following week, he said of the band: "You know, Radiohead is a fine band but they stole everything from Coldplay. Like, Radiohead is the poor man's Coldplay".

I know. I know. There are lots of arguments against that statement, but you know the whole thing was deliberately crafted just to make you start shouting them angrily. It's like if I said, "Even though it ended up being better than the original three films combined, 'Star Wars: Episode 1' would have been a lot better if Jar Jar Binks hadn't been so woefully underused". No wait, I got it wrong. That is actually a stone cold fact.

There's no use me telling you not to get upset about Gutfield's Radiohead fan baiting now though, because this happened a week ago and everyone's already expressed their outrage on Twitter. Oh, the outrage! Surely after two weeks of it, the team behind the show wouldn't want to feed off that anger some more. Would they? Yes, of course they would.

This week, they went all out and filmed a sketch! A classic comedy sketch. The sketch is set up as a mock advert for a remedy to rid you of 'Radiohead lice', called 'Yorke-B-Gone'. I think the idea is that Radiohead lice make you itch, and they also make a horrible wailing sound.

It's sort of... no, I don't know. But it finishes on a joke about Coldplay being "more innovative" than Radiohead, which might have been funnier if the build up to screening the sketch hadn't been filled with better jokes on that theme. Actually, Gutfield concluded that run by stepping things up a gear with the majestic claim that Blink 182 are "a poor man's Red Hot Chili Peppers", who in turn are "a poor man's Smash Mouth".

Anyway, everyone's now got annoyed by this, because everyone loves being annoyed by things these days. I'm even annoyed about you being annoyed. And now I'm annoyed that I'm annoyed that you're annoyed. When will the cycle ever end? Never, that's when, watch the fucking sketch and then go and complain about it somewhere.


ANDY MALT | Editor
Andy heads up the team, overseeing the CMU bulletins and website, coordinating features and interviews, reporting on artist and business stories, and contributing to the CMU Approved column.
Email andy@unlimitedmedia.co.uk (except press releases, see below)
CHRIS COOKE | MD & Business Editor
Chris provides music business coverage and analysis. Chris also leads the CMU Insights training and consultancy business and education programme CMU:DIY, and heads up CMU publisher 3CM UnLimited.
Email chris@unlimitedmedia.co.uk (except press releases, see below)
SAM TAYLOR | Commercial Manager & Insights Associate
Sam oversees the commercial side of the CMU media, leading on sales and sponsorship, and advising on CMU Insights training courses and events.
Email sam@unlimitedmedia.co.uk or call 020 7099 9060
CARO MOSES | Co-Publisher
Caro helps oversee the CMU media, while as a Director of 3CM UnLimited she heads up the company's other two titles ThisWeek London and ThreeWeeks Edinburgh, and supports other parts of the business.
Email caro@unlimitedmedia.co.uk
CMU supports the music community by providing news, business intelligence, training and education.

CMU Daily covers all the latest news and developments direct by email.

Setlist is a weekly podcast dissecting the biggest music business stories.

CMU Premium gives you access to the weekly CMU Digest and CMU Trends.

CMU Insights provides training and consultancy for music companies.

CMU:DIY provides workshops and resources for future music talent.

© UnLimited Media, a division of 3CM Enterprises Ltd

UnLimited Media, Kemp House, 152 City Road, London EC1V 2NX
t: 020 7099 9050 (editorial) 020 7099 9060 (sales)

Send press releases to musicnews@unlimitedmedia.co.uk

Email advertising queries to ads@unlimitedmedia.co.uk

Email training and consultancy queries to insights@unlimitedmedia.co.uk

publishing@unlimitedmedia.co.uk | complaints@unlimitedmedia.co.uk