Bieber stole credit card to pay for penis enlargement, claims Selena Gomez’s ‘father’

By | Published on Thursday 25 October 2012

Justin Bieber

Ah, another one of these then. A man claiming to be ‘the father of Selena Gomez’ has launched a lawsuit against Justin Bieber on various grounds, including that the singer stole the man’s credit card in order to pay for penis enlargement surgery. He also says that Bieber’s mentor Usher sodomised him with a firework while playing Katy Perry’s ‘Firework’.

TMZ reports that the man states in court papers: “Bieber has cost me $426.78 and never paid me back. This money was used as abortion money because Justin Bieber got my daughter Selena pregnant in my bedroom, on my Canadian bear rug”.

He continues: “[Bieber] gave Selena an STD and Bieber stole my credit card to buy him and Sean P-Ditty [sic] Combs cocaine to use in drug free school zones. Bieber also got a penis enlargement with my stolen American Express card”.

On Usher, he writes: “Usher Raymond came to my house on the forth of July 2012 and sodomized me with a firework and lit it inside my anal area while blaring Kate Perry [sic] firework song in my ear drums”.

All of which makes for amusing reading on one level, though when you see this kind of litigation cropping up in the American court system time and time again, you do sometimes start to worry about mental healthcare provision Stateside. But, hey, there’s an election coming up over there soon, and I’m sure everyone will vote in a manner that will improve all that. Maybe. Oh god.