And Finally Beef Of The Week

CMU Beef Of The Week #23: Kelly Rowland v Dolphins

By | Published on Saturday 19 June 2010

Swimming with dolphins is one of the most enriching, life-affirming moments any human being can experience. So say some people. Not Kelly Rowland, though. This week’s Beef Of The Week comes with a stern warning: Never swim with dolphins.

It all started on this week’s ‘Graham Norton Show’ on BBC One, when Bill Bailey recalled his experience swimming with dolphins, telling Norton: “It’s scary. It’s not nice. It’s not the thing you think it is. People think it’s gonna be a lovely, sort of like, Sealife Centre and you put your arm round it. But the dolphins aren’t happy about it. Don’t swim with a dolphin”.

Backing him up, Rowland announced: “Never swim with a dolphin. I mean, mine pooped in my face”.

Explaining the experience, she continued: “They were like, ‘Oh pet the dolphin, it’s so soft’. So we’re petting the dolphin and it’s all soft and then they’re like, ‘Now go into the water and see how smooth its belly is’. So we go in the water and see how smooth its belly is and it was like [here Kelly makes the internationally recognised sign for a dolphin pooing in your face]'”.

Just to ensure she’d made her point firmly enough, she concluded: “I will never swim with a dolphin again”.

Asked if it smelled bad, Rowland pointed out: “I can’t smell under water, I’m gonna drown”.


This Beef Of The Week comes from this edition of the CMU Weekly. Subscribe to the CMU Weekly here.