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Elvis Costello rejects Rod Stewart’s feud attempt

By Andy Malt | Published on Tuesday 14 June 2022

Rod Stewart and Elvis Costello have ended their feud. Maybe this is the first you’ve heard about their feud. Don’t worry, it was all fabricated by the bloody media. Except the bit where Stewart made a joke about Costello’s hair.

It all began when The Mirror reported that Costello had “blasted” the recent concert held to celebrate the Queen’s platinum jubilee and “ranted” about Rod Stewart’s performance of ‘Sweet Caroline’ during that show.

In fact, Costello’s remarks read more like some jokes he had made on stage at a live show, but you can read them as a rant if you like. “The [jubilee] show was good, wasn’t it?”, he reportedly asked an audience in Glasgow last week. “Wasn’t it? No, it was shite”.

“I mean, I know you all love him and he’s one of yours and everything, but Rod – what the fuck?” he went on. “I must say, listen, we all have bad nights vocally, but for fuck’s sake, ‘Sweet fucking Caroline’. Are you fucking kidding me? I mean I’ve been in showbusiness 45 years so I do know a thing or two. How is it that nobody suggested Rod sing ‘You Wear It Well’?”

Stewart did say on stage at the concert that the BBC had forced him to include a rendition of Neil Diamond’s ‘Sweet Caroline’ as part of his set, it having been picked – for some weird reason – as the song the British public should singalong to during the jubilee festivities, based on listener input on the Radio 2 breakfast show.

The live audience seemed to enjoy Stewart leading them in such a sing song during the jubilee concert, though his performance of the song was widely panned by those watching on TV.

The musician did also reveal on stage that he’d just recovered from COVID too, something he also pointed out when he took Costello to task on Twitter the day after the Mirror article appeared.

“Dear Elvis, yes my voice was rough cos of COVID”, he wrote. “I apologise, I thought it better it to make an appearance rather than let everyone down so sorry. By the way where’s your hair gone, mate?”

Costello is bald now, see? Anyway, there are no hard feelings. Costello replied, saying: “You know I love you. Think the Queen would have loved ‘You Wear It Well’ or even ‘Hot Legs’. As to gigs, I had a stinker the other night in Liverpool. They come and go, like hair, which I keep sewn in my hat”.

Elsewhere, he referred to the article that prompted all this as “typical Mirror shite”, saying: “If you read my actual remark, it’s about the wrong-headed idea of asking Sir Rod pass up ‘You Wear It Well’ to lead a fucking singalong”.

Stewart hasn’t actually responded to Costello’s clarifications, but I think we can now consider the matter closed… if we can all just agree that there should never ever be another jubilee concert ever again.