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EMI does Fuck Me deal

By | Published on Monday 25 October 2010

“Fuck me”, EMI’s CEO of recorded music outside North America, David Kassler, was heard to exclaim on Friday. At first everyone assumed he’d just seen coverage of the Terra Firma v Citigroup court case and had finally realised he was working for a company owned by idiots. But no, he was merely warming up to announce his firm’s latest new business partnership.

EMI has teamed up with Guetta Events, the clubbing company owned and run by David Guetta and his wife Cathy, to further exploit their Ibiza club night ‘Fuck Me I’m Famous’. The aim is to stage FMIF nights around the world, expand the club’s compilation series, and launch a range of Fuck Me merchandise. You know, t-shirts bearing killer slogans like “Fuck me, we owe the bank three billion”, and “Fuck me, I’m employed by idiots”, and “Fuck me, this time next year I’ll be working for Warner Music”. 

Confirming the partnership, which expands Guetta’s existing artist relationship with the major, the aforementioned Kassler told CMU: “You only have to attend one of the club nights in Ibiza to understand the importance of FMIF to dance music fans. Cathy and David have done a great job establishing it as such a strong brand in Ibiza, and everybody at EMI is excited about working in collaboration with them to take it on to the next stage of its development”.

Cathy herself added: “This association with EMI will help us to ensure that the success of the Ibiza FMIF nights will now be felt around the world. We’re looking forward to working in partnership with the team there to create a truly international brand”.

For legal reasons we must point out David Kassler does not work for a company owned by idiots. Well, not just idiots.