And Finally Artist News

Justin Bieber can’t meet fans because their spiritual energy makes him unhappy

By | Published on Thursday 24 March 2016

Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber has announced that he’s not doing any more meet and greet sessions. The problem, you see, is that now he’s such a nice guy, he’s too nice to be exposed to so many people. Because, it seems, people make him unhappy with their spiritual energy. And yes, that is what he actually said.

“Love u guys”, he began in an Instagram post, attempting to soften the blow. “I’m going to be cancelling my meet and greets. I enjoy meeting such incredible people but I end up feeling so drained and filled with so much of other people’s spiritual energy that I end up so drained and unhappy”.

See, I told you that’s what he said. He continued: “Want to make people smile and happy but not at my expense and I always leave feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted to the point of depression. The pressure of meeting people’s expectations of what I’m supposed to be is so much for me to handle and a lot on my shoulders”.

Not sure what he’s talking about? Well, I expect him to be a kind of messianic figure who glows with positivity and brings peace to all who come into contact with him. Is that so much to ask? I suppose I would be quite disappointed if it turned out he was just quite nice.

“Never want to disappoint but I feel I would rather give you guys the show and my albums as promised”, he finished. “Can’t tell you how sorry I am, and wish it wasn’t so hard on me. And I want to stay in the healthy mindset I’m in to give you the best show you have ever seen”.

It has been suggested that security concerns were to blame for Bieber giving up the fan meeting and greeting sessions, which are charged at up to $2000 per person. The company behind the events, Bkstg, reportedly stated on its mobile app earlier this week: “During a recent show, there was a security incident that caused our team to have to meet and rethink how meet and greets were handled”.

According to TMZ, this incident was a “potentially dangerous fan” who is already on the singer’s security team’s “watch list” arriving for a meet and greet at a recent show.

Which may all be true. But it seems far more likely that Bieber is just on such a higher plane than the rest of us that he can’t handle the imbalance of spiritual energy. He’s so nice. I’m glad he’s our lord and saviour. And now I have more money to spend on meeting Avril Lavigne.