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Kanye West claims God gave him a tax rebate

By | Published on Wednesday 30 October 2019

Kanye West

God moves in mysterious ways. Like, one day you might be sitting around, minding your own business, and then God just gives you a massive tax rebate. And if you don’t believe me, well, that’s what happened to Kanye West. Or so he claims.

West has just released a new album, as I’m sure you noticed. He’s been talking about it a lot. Well, he’s been talking. Talking, talking, talking. Talking like he does when he has an album to promote. And despite his apparent recent spiritual awakening, the talking is much the same as usual. Except he mentions God a lot more now.

Appearing on James Corden’s ‘Carpool Karaoke’, West made the fairly bold claim that God is using him to demonstrate to us other humans the absolute limits of perfection a living being can reach. Something along those lines, anyway. And this divine demonstration includes West getting a refund on his tax payments.

“God is using me, as a human being, as humbly as I can put it, he’s using me to show off”, says West. “Last year I made $115 million and still ended up $35 million in debt. This year I looked up and I just got $68 million returned to me on my tax returns”.

What exactly is God’s plan here? Apparently it’s to show anyone who finds themselves spiralling into debt that they too can get out of that situation if they just believe in Jesus.

“People say, ‘don’t talk about these numbers'”, claims West. “No, people need to hear someone that has been put into debt by the system talk about these kind of numbers now that they’re in service to Christ”.

So, there you go, just believe and you’ll suddenly find yourself with millions of dollars in the bank. It probably helps to set up your own church, like West has. Those tend to be pretty good for reducing your tax burden. Especially in America.

Also, it helps to be very wealthy in the first place, to a level where you’d benefit from the tax breaks for the mega-rich introduced by West’s mate Donald Trump.

Basically, if you want to get out of debt, it really helps to have millions in the bank already. And then to believe in Jesus. But not so much that you start giving all your money away to the poor like that tedious hippy Jesus kept advising everyone to do.

Elsewhere in the interview West also claims to have changed the world’s perception of marriage, which is good news, given how much God likes marriage. Well, some forms of marriage. “People thought it would be uncool to be married”, reckons West, “then I got married and then people thought, ‘Oh, that looks cool'”.

So, yes, basically, as you can see Kanye West has a new record out and it’s very much business as usual.

Anyway, I mentioned that West was on ‘Carpool Karaoke’. Which he was. Although, when you bring a 100-strong gospel choir with you to perform, a car really isn’t going to do it. So this episode is on a plane.

And, aside from having to watch James Corden ‘joining in’, the actual singing bit is pretty magnificent. I’d congratulate Kanye West for putting a choir on a plane, but he’d probably just tell me that God did it. Which I’m sure would please whoever in Corden’s production team actually came up with the idea.