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New boss at Capitol US’s brands division

By | Published on Thursday 5 October 2017

Brian Nolan

Universal Music’s US-based Capitol Music Group has a brand partnerships and sync licensing division called Seventeenfifty.

Actually, the ‘s’ isn’t capitalised. It’s technically called Seventeenfifty. Argh, no, not Seventeenfifty. You see, the CMU style guide doesn’t allow company names to forgo the initial capital letter. In the world of CMU, the rules of English grammar always take precedent over trendy branding nonsense.

Watch this, I’m going to try writing Seventeenfifty without the capital ‘s’: Seventeenfifty. Not possible. The CMU style guide machine is all-powerful. Those of you who place trendy branding nonsense above the rules of English grammar will just have to imagine I am writing Seventeenfifty. Argh, yeah, there it is again. You know what I mean.

Anyway, Seventeenfifty has a new Senior Vice President in the form of Brian Nolan, formerly off of Sony Music. Which is more than happy with its capital ‘s’, you should note. Perhaps he could bring that kind of respect for English grammar to his new employer.

I mean, officially he’s being charged with the task of expanding Seventeenfifty’s “role in generating and maximising revenue streams while playing a significant role in breaking new and developing artists and enhancing Capitol Music Group’s marketing efforts on behalf of its established stars”. But fixing the division’s grammatically incorrect name could be added to that list I reckon. Hell, he could fix that on day one.

Says his new boss Michelle Jubelirer: “Brian has such a broad-base of experience within the music industry, and he has clearly excelled in every position he’s held. He knows the intricacies of artist development first-hand, and is so well-suited to integrating the role of Seventeenfifty into our overall marketing efforts to build and enhance careers in ways that are consistent with the creative paths and images of our artists. We are THRILLED that Brian has joined the CMG family”.

Actually, I just noticed that in the press release not only do they not put a capital ‘s’ at the front of Seventeenfifty, they also always write it in italics. I checked with the Protector Of The CMU Style Guide about what to do about that, and he just told me to “fuck off”.