And Finally Artist News

Now Justin Bieber claims NOT to be the Messiah

By | Published on Wednesday 24 February 2016

Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber is not the messiah, just a disappointing popstar, he has confirmed.

This is particularly upsetting news after his suggestion last September that he might at least be something close to Jesus. However, despite him being the world’s nicest guy, he is not a religious figure and should not be worshiped as such, he’s told The Mirror in a new interview.

“I would really suggest to people, ‘Don’t put your faith in me'”, said Bieber. “Because I’m gonna disappoint you every time. Yeah. It’s scary. But I want them to know that I’m not going to be able to solve their problems… I’m not that higher power”.

Bieber is not God. Repeat: Bieber is not God. But is there a chance that one day he might be?

“I’ll never be”, he continued, dashing all last hope. “I’m not perfect. I’ve made so many mistakes. I just want to get to a place where… I just want people to know humans aren’t meant to be worshipped. We’re just not. So when a human is being worshipped, this is dangerous. Cos it does nothing but give you pride”.

What should we do, o mighty Bieber? Give us a sign. “I feel like the fans, they gotta understand: you can love me, you can be passionate about me, you can fantasise, you can do whatever you want. But it’s a finicky thing when you start putting your trust in me. And I’ve seen certain people just break down…”

This is exactly the sort of thing the actual Messiah would say, of course. I still have total faith in you, Justin. This was a good test. I look forward to you commencing the rapture at tonight’s BRIT Awards.