And Finally Artist News

PWEI’s Fuzz Townshend: “I dipped my knob in Boris Johnson’s pint”

By | Published on Friday 12 April 2019

Fuzz Townshend

Pop Will Eat Itself drummer Fuzz Townshend has revealed that he once bought Boris Johnson a pint of ale. And also dipped his penis in it. I think you could do a pretty good Venn diagram of people’s reactions to this revelation.

Townshend revealed the story on the Drivetribe YouTube channel, in his guise as co-presenter of Channel 4 show ‘Car SOS’.

“He arrived [at a pub] as it was my round”, Townshend explains. “So I said, ‘would you like a drink?’ I was drinking a pint of real ale and he said, ‘what’s that like?’ I said, ‘yeah, that was pretty good’, so he said, ‘I’ll have one of those’ … I got the pints and [as] I turned round I noticed that to my left on the way out was the gents toilets. And I did need a wee”.

This isn’t a recent incident, Townshend added, and happened long before Johnson reached the extreme divisive status he now holds.

“When I was in the loo I thought ‘this is an opportunity of a lifetime, I have a politician here, it doesn’t matter which hue of politician, I have a politician here, I’m gonna do something'”, he goes on. “I dipped my knob in Boris Johnson’s pint and then topped it up with mine”.

I think the most shocking thing in this story is that Fuzz Townshend takes drinks into the toilet with him when at the pub. See him tell the story for yourself here: