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Apple’s launches: A watch, a bigger phone, and some free U2

By | Published on Wednesday 10 September 2014


“I was so hoping for something more” said one Apple follower. “Great, just what the world needs” remarked another, as the tech giant revealed it’s latest product innovation, “all this hype for something so ridiculous”. “I think it’s just that bit too pricey” a third commentator wisely observed, while another reflected the mood in the room by noting: “I think that Apple is making a mistake by trying to get into this market”.

But enough of the comments made when Apple launched its iPod in 2001, what about this here iWatch then? (Or, technically, just ‘Watch’, presumably named in honour of the British cable TV channel because Apple boss Tim Cook is such a big Dynamo fan).

Because yes, as expected, Apple used its typically hyped and widely tweeted product launch bash last night to unveil it’s first ‘wearable’, as idiots call it. It’s a watch. It tells the time. It sends and receives email. It tells the time. It gives you directions by vibrating. It tells the time. It checks your pulse to confirm you’re still alive. And it tells the time. Oh, and it comes with a ‘digital crown’, though you spin that to navigate the apps on the device, it’s not another wearable.

Alas no teleportation function, which is surely the main reason you’d want a hi-tech wrist-based device, but perhaps that’ll be in the Apple Watch Plus next year. Though actually, the Watch showcased yesterday won’t itself be available until next year (gives you time to choose a colour I suppose), with prices in the US starting at a mere $349.

Alongside all the watches, Apple also unveiled the iPhone 6, “the biggest advancement in the history of iPhone”, which will be bigger than the five, and even more so if you opt for the premium iPhone 6 Plus. But don’t worry, no one expects you to wear it. Away from devices, the other big development was Apple Pay, a new mobile payment system.

The exciting music announcement that some hoped might be snuck in, in amongst the wearables and expanding iPhones, didn’t materialise. Unless you count a new U2 album free for all iTunes customers as an exciting music announcement. But we’d prefer it if you didn’t.