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Boris Johnson says European Copyright Directive is “classic” and “terrible” EU law

By | Published on Thursday 28 March 2019


So, when the ultimate Brexit nightmare is finally unleashed in the next few weeks and Boris ‘Bullshitter’ Johnson somehow becomes the most prime of all the ministers in this United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, what the fuck does that mean for the implementation of the European Copyright Directive in this fair land? Because obviously that’ll be your first concern once Bullshitter is in charge.

Well, even though the UK government has previously indicated it will implement the new round of EU copyright reforms, even if and when the country is no longer part of the EU, Bullshitter has indicated that that won’t happen if he is in charge. “The EU’s new copyright law is terrible for the internet”, he declared on Twitter yesterday. “It’s a classic EU law to help the rich and powerful, and we should not apply it. It is a good example of how we can take back control”.

Of course, said internet was quick to point out that the more controversial elements of the copyright reforms – like the safe harbour revamping article thirteen – were passionately campaigned for by the British music community and, in the main, supported by the British government, including when Bullshitter was in the Cabinet. The music industry would also argue that the “rich and powerful” the directive helps are everyday songwriters and musicians, while the losers are the poor little tax-avoiding American mega-congloms like Google, Apple and Facebook.

But still, if Bullshitter does somehow become king, the music industry can still probably get all the copyright reforms it needs implemented in a post-Brexit UK. Just rebrand the copyright directive the Great British Copyright Reform Bill, call article thirteen the British Empire Liability Mechanic, and have all the artists sing ‘Land Of Hope And Glory’ on an eternal loop. Yes, taking back control is that simple.