And Finally Artist News

David Bowie used to hide under a table to avoid answering the door to Roger Moore

By | Published on Wednesday 27 September 2017

David Bowie

OK, people. Get ready for some imagery in your brain that will delight the shit out of you. News has broken that David Bowie used to hide under a table when his neighbour Roger Moore came around for a chat.

Yes, you’re right, that does need more context, doesn’t it? You have questions, and those questions need answers. But I know what you’re also thinking. You’re thinking that stories with a premise this good rarely live up to their initial promise. Well, hold onto your hats, because that is not going to be an issue here.

The story arrives as an anecdote in new biography ‘David Bowie: A Life’, by Dylan Jones, and was apparently recounted to the author by writer Hanif Kureishi.

Interviewed by Telegraph rock critic Neil McCormick at the launch event for the book, Jones explained: “When David Bowie moved to Switzerland at the end of the 70s to escape tax and drug dealers, he didn’t know anybody there. He was in this huge house on the outskirts of Geneva – he knew nobody”.

“One day, about half past five in the afternoon, there’s a knock on the door, and there he was: ‘Hello, David'”, he continued. “Roger Moore comes in, and they had a cup of tea. He stays for drinks, and then dinner, and tells lots of stories about the James Bond films. They had a fantastic time – a brilliant night”.

This is already a great story, huh? But what about all this table business?

“The next day, at 5.30… Knock, knock, it’s Roger Moore. He invites himself in again, and sits down: ‘Yeah, I’ll have a gin and tonic, David’. He tells the same stories – but they’re slightly less entertaining the second time around. After two weeks [of Moore turning up] at 5.25pm – literally every day – David Bowie could be found underneath the kitchen table pretending not to be in”.

This may now be my favourite possibly untrue Bowie story, after the one about him keeping himself grounded by remembering that he was “just a cunt in a clown suit”.