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Live Nation sues theoretical sellers of Coldplay knock off merch

By | Published on Tuesday 1 August 2017


Hey, anyone planning on selling unofficial Coldplay merchandise in Boston this weekend, consider yourself sued. Live Nation just sued you. They sued your ass. Check your ass. It’s just been sued. That’s what the short sharp pain was all about.

Except that Live Nation doesn’t actually know who you are. So, actually, your ass is fine. Unless, by an extraordinary coincidence, your name is John Doe and you work for XYZ Company. In which case, as you were, your ass has definitely been sued.

So, yes, Live Nation’s merchandise company last week filed legal papers in Boston against anyone who might be planning on selling unofficial merch outside Coldplay’s show in the city this Friday. Because, says the live giant, it has the exclusive right to flog Coldplay tat “in the vicinity of the group’s concerts on the group’s present North American concert tour”.

But, not actually knowing who is planning on selling knock off Coldplay beanie hats on Friday, Live Nation filed legal papers against John Does 1-100, Jane Does 1-100 and XYZ Company, with a plan to amend the names accordingly if and when any dodgy Coldplay beanie hat sellers are actually sighted near Boston’s Gillette Stadium.

Presumably the live firm hopes that the threat of immediate litigation will keep said illicit beanie hat sellers away from Coldplay’s show. Though if you are planning on setting up a stall selling Chris Martin inaction figures, if you could change your name to John or Jane Doe before Friday, that would save on the paper work.