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The Kunts hoping for Jubilee hit single

By Andy Malt | Published on Tuesday 10 May 2022

Having had two unsuccessful attempts to secure the Christmas number one in the last two years, The Kunts have announced a campaign to secure the number two spot in the singles chart as The Queen celebrates her Platinum Jubilee. Still to be unveiled, the track they hope will achieve that feat will be a ditty called ‘Prince Andrew Is A Sweaty Nonce’.

As confrontational songs to coincide with royal celebrations go, it does make the Sex Pistols’ ‘God Save The Queen’ – which got to number two during the Queen’s Silver Jubilee in 1977 – seem a bit twee.

The band say that the song “is intended to re-open the conversation around [The Queen’s] son Prince Andrew’s conduct at this time when the establishment appear to want it swept under the carpet. Particularly the Prince’s friendship with convicted paedophile and sex-trafficker Jeffrey Epstein, and his cloak-and-dagger out of court settlement of the alleged historic sexual assault civil case brought about by Virginia Giuffre”.

As for why they’re going for number two, they say: “Because let’s face it, even if we did sell enough records they’d never let it be number one anyway!”

In their recent efforts to get to Christmas number one – with their songs ‘Boris Johnson Is A Fucking Cunt’ and ‘Boris Johnson Is Still A Fucking Cunt’ – The Kunts made it to number five on both occasions. That is the most hotly contested chart of the year though. Maybe they do have a chance of getting higher mid-year. We’ll see.

The song will not be released until 27 May, to ensure that all sales and streams go towards the 3 Jun chart. They have, however, revealed that it includes the lyrics, “The grand old Duke of York/He said he didn’t sweat/So why did he pay twelve million quid/To a girl he’d never met?”

Further information on the release is available on a dedicated website here.