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Will Drake slide out of the way for Matt Lucas’s baked potato?

By | Published on Monday 6 April 2020


Hey everyone, we have a chart battle on our hands. I guess. I mean, sort of. Look, at times like these we all need a distraction. Any distraction. So we might as well remember that the music charts still exist. Because Matt Lucas’s COVID-19 charity single ‘Thank You Baked Potato’ and Drake’s absolutely dreadful new single ‘Toosie Slide’ are battling it out for, well, not number one, but at least number three in this week’s singles chart. And Drake is winning.

Last week, comedian Matt Lucas announced he was releasing a reworked version of his ‘Baked Potato Song’ – which he originally performed on BBC Two comedy gameshow ‘Shooting Stars’ – to raise money for the FeedNHS campaign. That’s the fundraising initiative he co-founded that seeks to raise £1 million to get hot, healthy meals to NHS staff on a daily basis as they battle the COVID-19 pandemic.

“‘The Baked Potato Song’ was something I sang on ‘Shooting Stars’ 20 years ago and in an idle moment on Tuesday night I rewrote the lyrics and updated them”, said Lucas. “‘Baked Potato’ is always giving good advice and the new advice in the new version of the song is about washing your hands, staying indoors and only going to grocery stores. I urge everyone to go out and buy the single this week and raise vital money for the FeedNHS campaign”.

Drake’s new single, meanwhile, is some dance nonsense cynically designed for TikTok success.

Anyway, both are contenders for the highest new entry position in this Friday’s Official Chart. Yesterday, Drake was sitting at number three, with Lucas at number five. But a lot can happen in a working week. Remember when we were allowed to go to the pub or pop out to buy some vintage earmuffs? That wasn’t actually 700 years ago, despite how it feels.

If we take Global Radio’s entirely different Big Top 40 chart as a guide – which reveals its finished countdown each Sunday as the Official Chart puts out its preliminary stats for the release week – then Lucas is on to be the big winner, sitting at number two. Drake is way down at 37 in that chart. Although, that’s all down to the different reporting period and the quirky maths employed by the commercial radio chart. So maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up.

Whatever, we’re on course for there to be one big winner when the latest Official UK Singles Chart is announced on Radio 1 this Friday. And that’s, well, that’s The Weeknd at the moment. He’s likely to be in the number one spot which, despite everything, is still technically the top position. But forget that, what we want to know is: who might be at number two? Or maybe three. Or four. Or twelve. It’s all to play for! Cling on to this. Cling on to it with all you have.