There'll be a massive free party on the Mall in London to mark the handover of the Olympics from Beijing to the British capital on 24 Aug. As the Olympic flag is handed over at the closing ceremony of the Beijing Games to London mayor Boris Johnson (and a special flag no less, incorporating that God awful logo they're insisting we use), a live concert will kick off in central London, which will be broadcast on the telly.
The concert will include music and dance, the latter coming from the Royal Opera House, CanDoCo and those Into The Hoods Zoo Nation break dancing types. The bands set to play are being kept a secret, for reasons for which I'm not quite sure. The whole thing will finale with an artistic representation of what the Olympics are all about - a bunch of idiots will set fire to twenty billion pounds.
No, only joking. Athletes from every sport, from across the world, from all cultures, from all backgrounds, from every society, will come together, hold hands, and then set fire to twenty billion pounds. No, not really. It will probably end with George Sampson break dancing or Leona Lewis warbling or something like that.
Given the tabloid reports this morning that Simon Cowell has hired three former SAS soldiers to provide security for fourteen year old 'Britain's Got Talent' winner Sampson, who is apparently getting mobbed wherever he goes, if he is involved in the open air Olympics party this August (and he might as well be, it'll probably rain) perhaps the Chinese could send in some of those jump suited thugs to handle the security arrangements.