Talking of how not to run a record company, EMI boss Guy Hands' 'rant of the day' today is targeted at top execs at the major he acquired earlier this year. Whether the venom is aimed just at former EMI chief Eric Nicoli and other since axed senior players, or whether some of this is aimed at senior execs still on the EMI pay roll, isn't clear.
But either way, in a confidential document sent to Hands' investment partners and seen by journalists at The Times, the private equity man accuses Nicoli and his team of pissing away up to £100 million a year on unnecessary nonsense. The expenditure assigned to the 'nonsense' cost centre by Hands includes lavish Christmas gifts for artists, corporate apartments in LA and London, generous severance packages for fired execs (presumably Alain Levy and David Munns, who were axed at the start of the year) and excessive advances to artists. Oh, and £20,000 a month spent on candles for the LA apartment, which I find quite hard to believe, is it possible to spend £20,000 a month on candles? Unless they are talking about "candles", of course. You know, "candles" for the corporate flat, like you have "a bunch of flowers" on the band's rider.
Anyway, it seems Hands is keen to assure his money partners such excesses are now a thing of the past at the all new EMI, and that their money won't be wasted on such frivolities. So, that's nice to know. Just imagine what Hands would have made of the executive excesses at a nineties major record company. I suspect those glasses of his would have steamed up.