Sharon Osbourne's nephew has apparently told The People just how rubbish all of this year's X Factor finalists are. Just how tenuous does a link to fame have to be before it engenders tabloid coverage? Sorry, my mistake. A lot more tenuous than this.
Terry Longden was a stylist and adviser for Sharon's acts last year. Stating the obvious, he allegedly said "Chico? Don't make me laugh. The only talent he has is his six-pack and rippling muscles. Utterly talentless."
He continued: "Chenai hates me and she hates Sharon for not putting her through last year. I told her I was really pleased for her this time around and she just glared at me. She is so determined to prove us wrong that she will end up turning into a diva and alienating the public. The Conway Sisters looked dreadful last week and were out of tune. They are already big in Ireland but don't stand a cat's chance in hell of making it over here. As for the rest they may as well pack up and sign for the working men's club circuit."
He added: "Whoever triumphs will just be next year's Steve Brookstein - and look where he is now. The last I heard he was touring Butlin's holiday camps. He was too ambitious. But all the finalists think that going on X Factor will guarantee them an amazing career. It doesn't work like that."