So, it was the Brits last night. Did you go? Did you see it? If I'm being honest, I didn't do either. But in my defence, I was very very busy last night. Though strangely I did manage to find half an hour to watch Never Mind The Buzzcocks - the Preston Walk Off Edition. Genius. Anyway, let's pretend I was there, amongst the press pack, diligently preparing this in-depth report, just for you. I bet our report's better than those written by people actually there anyway.
Certainly we were able to better empathise with the biggest winners of the night. They not being there either. Because yes, it was those Arctic Monkeys who picked up (in the metaphorical sense) two of the biggest awards of the night, Best Group and Best British Album for 'Whatever People Say I Am...' They'd already said they wouldn't be in attendance at the West London awards show, being far too busy doing, erm, busy things. Actually, I happen to know Arctic Monkeys are big Simon Amstell fans, so I suspect they stayed at home to watch that Buzzcocks. Anyway, they sent in a couple of those 'they can't be with us tonight' type video messages, dressed as characters from The Wizard Of Oz and The Village People, and frontman Alex Turner did say of the Best Album prize, "this is a very special award and is much appreciated by us all", which was nice.
The only other band to win two awards did show up. That was The Killers, who took the international equivalents of the Monkey's gongs, winning Best International Group and Best International Album for 'Sam's Town'. Frontman Brandon Flowers said on winning the award: "This is something else. Thank you for making this dream possible."
Other non-British winners this year included Justin Timberlake, Nelly Furtado and Orson who took the International Best Male, Female and Newcomer awards respectively. The other Brit Brit winners included Muse, who won Best Live Act, The Fratellis who won Best Newcomer (and hurrah to that), and James Morrison and Amy Winehouse, who won Best Male and Best Female respectively. As expected, Take That won the Best Single prize for their comeback single 'Patience', one of four awards voted for by the public this year and, for the first time, voted as the show aired live. As pre-announced, Oasis were presented with an Outstanding Contribution prize.
For those who'd prefer that paragraph in list form, here's the full list of winners.
British Male Solo Artist: James Morrison
British Female Solo Artist: Amy Winehouse
British Album: Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
British Group: Arctic Monkeys
British Breakthrough Act: The Fratellis
International Breakthrough Act: Orson
British Live Act: Muse
British Single: Take That - Patience
International Male Solo Artist: Justin Timberlake
International Female Solo Artist: Nelly Furtado
International Group: The Killers
International Album: The Killers - Sam's Town
Outstanding Contribution To Music: Oasis
Amy Winehouse, Corinne Bailey Rae, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Snow Patrol, Take That, Scissor Sisters and, of course, Outstanding Contribution winners Oasis all performed at the show that, despite being televised live for the first time in eons, seemed to pass without any especially embarrassing incident (or so I'm told, Preston definitely walked off Buzzcocks last night, that much I can confirm).
So much so, the main surprises of the evening came in those artists who went home empty handed. Despite dominating the shortlists, Lily Allen, up for four prizes, won none. Other hot contenders and multiple nominees Corinne Bailey Rae, Snow Patrol and Gnarls Barkley also went home empty handed.
And here ends our 'from the red carpet' Brits report. Except did I say 'hurrah' for the fact The Fratellis won Best Newcomer? I did, I know, but having just read this report back I don't think I stressed how happy we all are with that one. I almost wish I'd tuned in to see them win. Well, not really, but well done them anyway.