So, Britney didn't, in the end, attempt to sing at the MTV Video Music Awards in LA this weekend. Her much hyped return to the awards show - where, in 2007, she added to public concern for her well being by turning in an embarrassingly bad live set - consisted of a sort-of comedic sketch at the show's outset, and then various trips to the podium to pick up three awards, for Best Video, Best Pop Video and Best Female Video, all for 'Piece Of Me'.
Kanye West, Christina Aguilera, Rihanna, Kid Rock and the Jonas Brothers did all sing at the Hollywood awards event, which was hosted by that Russell Brand chap. Asked about Spears by the BBC, Brand said: "She seems ever so sweet, but some people have been ever so battered by fame. She's been kicked in all directions by the media. She's a little bruised, but she's a very sweet, lovely person".
So there you go. Here, meanwhile, is the full list of winners from this year's VMAs.
Best Female Video: Britney Spears - Piece of Me (Directed by Wayne Isham)
Best Male Video: Chris Brown - With You (Directed by Erik White)
Best Dancing In A Video: Pussycat Dolls - When I Grow Up (Directed by Joseph Kahn)
Best Rock Video: Linkin Park - Shadow of the Day (Directed by Joe Hahn)
Best Hip Hop Video: Lil Wayne - Lollipop (Directed by Gil Green/Dwayne Carter)
Best New Artist: Tokio Hotel - Ready, Set, Go! (Directed by Warwick & Haering)
Best Pop Video: Britney Spears - Piece of Me (Directed by Wayne Isham)
Video Of The Year: Britney Spears - Piece of Me (Directed by Wayne Isham)
Best Art Direction: Gnarls Barkley - Run (Art Direction by Happy & Kells Jesse)
Best Choreography: Gnarls Barkley - Run (Choreography by Mikey Rooney)
Best Cinematography: The White Stripes - Conquest (Cinematography by Wyatt Troll)
Best Direction: Erykah Badu - Honey (Directed by Erykah Badu & Mr Roboto)
Best Editing: Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Possess Your Heart (Edited by Jeff Buchanan)
Best Special Effects: Kanye West f/ T-Pain - Good Life (Special Effects by X1 FX)
Most of the VMA entertainment, though, seems to have come not from Britney, the other performances or the awards, but from Brand not quite avoiding the wrath of MTV censors and political impartiality monitors. Along the way he called on America to elect Barack Obama in the upcoming elections, called George Bush a "retarded cowboy", had to apologise to the Jonas Brothers for some remarks made at their expense, and told a sweary gag none of the news media will repeat. Possibly about R Kelly. Making such fun at conservative America's expense almost makes up for him being an irritating twat.