And Finally Artist News Awards

Abz from Five selling BRIT Award on eBay to buy soil

By | Published on Wednesday 9 September 2015


Admit it, you’d quite like a BRIT Award. Maybe your talents have always been overlooked by the voting academy. Or you don’t have any real talents. Or you don’t have the money behind you to overcome having no real talents. But you’ve definitely always wanted one of those damn trophies in your house. Well, hot dang, if today isn’t your lucky day, because Abz from Five is selling his on eBay.

Yes, people, this is your chance to pretend that YOU were voted Best Newcomer in 2000 (and also that your name is Abz and you were in Five). The singer turned farmer is getting shot of his award in order to “fund a delivery of topsoil and maybe some garden tools”.

“Take advantage of my poverty and grab this rare opportunity to own a bit of pop history”, says Abz in his eBay listing. “Good condition, light scratching (to be expected for age), one previous owner from new. Has been dropped and knocked a few times and is currently being used as a door stop”.

He also promises that it “has been held by Jason Statham although I can not prove this”.

The only barrier to you owning the BRIT Award that is RIGHTFULLY YOURS is that bidding is currently up over £1 million. Although I suspect some of those bids might not be entirely genuine. Whatever, chance your arm here.