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Hipgnosis announces deal with RZA

By | Published on Monday 24 August 2020


You know the score by now, the Hipgnosis Songs Fund, another fucking deal, greatest artist/writer/producer in all history, everyone’s THRILLED, even RZA.

Actually, RZA is “honoured”, not “THRILLED”. And now I come to think about it, he’s not even part of the score. He’s just the person whose publishing rights are subject to the latest fucking Hipgnosis Songs Fund deal with the greatest artist/writer/producer in all history. His manager is “THRILLED”, though.

“RZA and the Wu-Tang Clan did not invent hip hop but they took it from being fun to something that represented a true reflection of what the streets, and being black in America, was really like”, reckons Hipgnosis chief Merck Mercuriadis. “They were and are the most authentic band and brand in hip hop”.

Before you can take issue with any of what he said in the previous paragraph, he goes on: “It all starts with RZA’s vision, his songs and his struggle, manifested in music, that could show the entire world what was really going on. He is now globally recognised as a true renaissance man of hip hop and most would argue that he is the goat”.

Before this all gets out of hand, RZA himself chips in: “I wear various hats in my artistic expressions but the one that has been so deeply reflective of my life’s journey is my songwriting. I’m honoured to partner up with Merck and the Hipgnosis team to usher my songs into an exciting future”.

“Merck and Hipgnosis are true music people through and through”, adds manager Tyler Childs. “RZA and I are THRILLED to partner with them on these songs and continue our long-standing relationship with Merck”.

Oh look, RZA is actually “THRILLED” after all, he just didn’t say so himself. Is Childs empowered to speak to RZA’s THRILLED-ness? These are the big issues you probably shouldn’t bring up in the final paragraph of a story.