Business News Deals Digital

Uber confirms Spotify alliance

By | Published on Tuesday 18 November 2014

Spotify x Uber

According to BuzzFeed, a senior exec at taxi app firm Uber recently floated the idea of hiring a team of researchers to dig up dirt about the firm’s media critics, and to then circulate said secrets so to “give the media a taste of its own medicine”. But I’d like to stress that this will have no impact whatsoever on our coverage of the firm.

In unrelated news, the brilliant, marvellous, world-changing, society-improving, dream-enabling, agenda-setting driver-on-tap app Uber yesterday confirmed its highly anticipated and undeniably genius partnership with Spotify, the greatest music service to have ever been conceived let alone created.

Under this perfect alliance, any lucky Spotify Premium-subscribing traveller who books a “Spotify-enabled” Uber car via the must-use mobile app of the moment, and all future moments, will be able to control the music they hear while on the move, as if in some kind of vehicular heaven, only better.

Said lucky people will be able to chose from carefully-curated and sure-to-be-brilliant playlists specifically designed for the kind of smooth drive you can expect when hiring an Uber driver, or, if they so wish – because Uber and Spotify are all about personal freedom, being, as they are, corporate defenders of all human rights – any playlists or tracks from the Spotify libraries, which famously include all the good music that has ever been created.

As the two companies said in a statement yesterday that is both true and, in itself, a work of art: “Uber connects riders with transportation on-demand, wherever and whenever they choose. Spotify brings listeners the right music for every moment. And now, with our new first-of-its kind product partnership, Uber and Spotify Premium users can personalise their Uber ride by playing their favorite Spotify music right through the car speakers”. What joy.

Oh hang on, Uber’s Senior Vice President Of Business Emil Michael has told BuzzFeed that his ‘give the media a taste of their own medicine’ plan was just casual off-the-record dinner chatter and said remarks “do not reflect my actual views and have no relation to the company’s views or approach”. Well, that changes everything.

Uber app? Uber twats more like. Spotify playlists in your taxi! What a dumb idea that truly is. The dumbest of dumb ideas from the very dumb-core of dumbs-ville. Twats.